pc july 20 CHRIS: WHATEVER YOU LOST, I DIDN'T TAKE IT. UNLESS, OF COURSE, IT'S THE KEY TO YOUR HEART. EVE: NOT NOW, RAMSEY. CHRIS: WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS JUNK? EVE: I'M LOOKING FOR EVIDENCE. CHRIS: OF WHAT, A HALF-EATEN CANDY BAR? EVE: NO. A GAS RECEIPT. I KNOW THAT I FILLED UP MY TANK THE DAY BEFORE THE ACCIDENT. CHRIS: EVE, YOU HAVE TO STOP TORTURING YOURSELF. IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT. EVE: I JUST FOUND OUT THAT LUCY WENT TO THE BALLET ACADEMY TO PICK UP SERENA THE DAY OF THE WRECK. CHRIS: SO? EVE: SO SHE CALLED ME THAT MORNING AND I TOLD HER I WAS GOING TO BE PICKING UP SERENA. CHRIS: OH, I SEE. EVE: I MEAN, WHY WOULD SHE DRIVE ALL THAT WAY? CHRIS: SO YOU SMELL A ROTTEN EGG. EVE: YOU BET I DO. OH, YEAH. HERE IT ! I GOT IT -- THE GAS RECEIPT. THIS PROVES THAT I FILLED UP MY TANK THAT DAY. JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU SHOULD NEVER THROW ANYTHING OUT. CHRIS: WELL, OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T. SO WHAT NOW? EVE: NOW I FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GAS IN MY TANK. AND IF I FIND OUT THAT LUCY COE HAD HER DIRTY LITTLE PAW PRINTS ANYWHERE NEAR THIS, SHE WILL NOT LIVE TO SEE HER WEDDING DAY. LUCY: HERE IS TO THE WEDDING OF THE YEAR. AH. FELICIA: SURE TO BE A SHOWSTOPPER. LUCY: MM-HMM. OH, LISTEN -- DID YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO TALK TO MAXIE AND KIND OF GO OVER EVERYTHING ABOUT SERENA'S ACCIDENT? FELICIA: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I DID. I TOLD HER THAT SHE COULD HOLD HER HAND WHILE SHE WALKS DOWN THE AISLE AND SHE COULD SECRETLY WHISPER TO HER AND DESCRIBE TO HER WHAT WAS HAPPENING. LUCY: THANK YOU. THAT MEANS A LOT. AND THAT'S IT, THEN. ALL THE DETAIL ARE TAKEN CARE OF. THIS IS GOING TO BE PERFECT. BY THIS TIME NEXT WEEK, I'M GOING TO BE DR. MRS. KEVIN COLLINS. AIN'T LOVE DIVINE? FELICIA: YEAH, THAT'S ONE WAY TO DESCRIBE IT. LUCY: MMM, MMM, MMM. OK, THEN, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE IT? FELICIA: EXCRUCIATING-- LY WONDERFUL. LUCY: YEAH. THAT'S ONE WAY. YOU KNOW, I LOVE KEVIN COLLINS SO VERY MUCH. HE IS EVERYTHING -- EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER, EVER WANTED. FELICIA: MM-HMM. OH, I'M SURE HE FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU. LUCY: WELL, HE'D BETTER. AND MAC, OF COURSE, IS CRAZY ABOUT YOU. FELICIA: YEAH, HE'S CRAZY, ALL RIGHT. LUCY: AND YOU, OF COURSE, ARE NUTS ABOUT HIM. FELICIA: TOTALLY. LUCY: YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING LIKE -- NOTHING -- NOTHING LIKE FINDING A GUY THAT CAN BE YOUR BEST FRIEND AND STILL, WHEN HE LOOKS AT YOU -- FELICIA: MM-HMM? LUCY: YOUR TOES CURL. FELICIA: NOTHING LIKE IT. LUCY: OH, YOU KNOW, WE DO HAVE TO KEEP SOMETHING IN MIND. THERE ARE PROBABLY GOING TO BE SOME TONGUES A-WAGGING. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, WHAT, IS THIS MY FOURTH, MAYBE YOUR FIFTH -- FOURTH OR FIFTH, YOU KNOW -- AND I'M NOT GOING TO COUNT REX STANTON, BUT WE ARE UP THERE, YOU KNOW. FELICIA: YEAH, WELL, LISTEN, I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO THE SAME MAN TWICE -- LUCY: MM-HMM. FELICIA: AND TWO OF MY MARRIAGES WEREN'T LEGAL, SO I GUESS I COULD TECHNICALLY SAY THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE MY SECOND MARRIAGE. LUCY: THEN TECHNICALLY -- LISTEN TO THIS -- I HAVE ONLY BEEN MARRIED -- THIS WILL BE MY FIRST TIME, BECAUSE THIS IS THE ONLY TRUE -- THANK YOU -- RIGHT ONE, THE ONLY ONE AND ONLY. SEE? SO FIRST TIME. FELICIA: YOU SOUND LIKE A GREETING CARD. HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S RIGHT? I MEAN, REALLY, HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S RIGHT? HOW DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW THAT IT'S RIGHT? LUCY: I DO KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO PROVE MY UNDYING LOVE TO KEVIN, THOUGH. I'M CALLING MY HAIRDRESSER! AHA! FELICIA: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, HAVE HIS INITIALS ENGRAVED INTO YOUR HEAD? LUCY: [FRENCH ACCENT] HELLO? SINCLAIR? HELLO, IT'S LUCOI. HI, LISTEN, I WANT THE NAME OF THE BEST DARNED TATTOO ARTIST IN PORT CHARLES. [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION] EVE: THERE IS NO WAY A FULL TANK OF GAS COULD JUST DISAPPEAR IN 24 HOURS. CHRIS: WELL, YOU DID SAY THAT SCHOOL WAS WAY OUT IN THE STICKS. EVE: IT WAS, BUT -- WELL, NO, IT WASN'T THAT FAR. AND BESIDES, I WAS AT SCOTT'S BABYSITTING FOR MOST OF THE DAY. CHRIS: WELL, SOMETHING HAPPENED. BUT,OU KNOW, IT COULD BE JUST A LEAK IN THE GAS LINE. EVE: THAT'S IT. I'LL CALL THE COMPANY THAT TOWED THE WRECKAGE -- OH, MY GOSH -- AND I'LL HAVE THEM CHECK IT OUT. OK. HERE WE GO. OK. AHEM. YES, HI, THIS IS DR. EVE LAMBERT. YOU HAVE WHAT'S LEFT OF MY CONVERTIBLE. I KNOW, I KNOW, IT'S BEEN BADLY BURNED, BUT I WAS WONDERING IF YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO DO ME A FAVOR AND CHECK THE GAS TANK. I'M LOOKING FOR ANY KIND OF, LIKE, A HOLE OR A LEAK ANYWHERE. IT'S FOR INSURANCE REASONS. PERSONAL INSURANCE. LUCY: MMM -- MM-HMM, MM-HMM -- AND BRING LOTS AND LOTS OF YOUR LITTLE PATTERNS AND ALL YOUR COLORS, OK? YEAH. OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHOWING UP ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE. WE'LL BE WAITING, WAITING. OK. TA. HA! AH. FELICIA: YOU'RE NOT GETTING A TATTOO. LUCY: WHY THE HECK NOT? COME ON, EVERYBODY ELSE IS DOING IT. IT'S VERY TRENDY. YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE TO FOLLOW THE TRENDS. AND BESIDES -- CHER. PICTURE CHER. SHE HAS A LOT OF THOSE TATTOOS, AND SHE'S A LOT, LOT OLDER THAN US. FELICIA: YOU'RE RIGHT. SILLY ME. WHAT'S YOUR TATTOO GOING TO LOOK LIKE? LUCY: OH. OK. OK. PICTURE THIS -- A LITTLE, LIKE, HEART ABOUT LIKE THIS -- WELL, I MEAN, NOT THAT BIG -- WITH "KEVIN" IN THE CENTER OF IT. PERFECT? FELICIA: MMM. QUINTESSENTIAL ELEGANCE. LUCY: MM-HMM. FELICIA: WHERE YOU GOING TO PUT IT? LUCY: OOH. WELL, SOMEPLACE VERY PRIVATE. FELICIA: OH, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT. LUCY: MMM -- YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I KIND OF LIKE IT HERE. I WANT IT RIGHT HERE. FELICIA: OUCH. YOU'RE GOING TO BE SITTING ON KEVIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. LUCY: I WILL BE. ISN'T THAT ROMANTIC? THAT'S THE MOST ROMANTIC IDEA I'VE HAD IN A LONG TIME. FELICIA: GETTING YOUR HINEY PRICKED BY A NEEDLE? LUCY: MM-HMM, BECAUSE IT'S SO PERMANENT. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT -- A RING, IF YOU GET MAD YOU CAN JUST THROW IT OFF INTO THE OCEAN AND THERE GOES THAT COMMITMENT. BUT A TATTOO -- NOW THAT'S FOREVER. FELICIA: OK, WELL, YOU JUST GO AHEAD AND YOU KNOCK YOURSELF OUT. I'M GOING TO STAND THERE, I'M GOING TO HOLD YOUR HAND, AND I'M GOING TO WATCH IT HAPPEN. LUCY: GUESS WHAT -- YOU'RE GOING TO DO A LOT MORE THAN THAT. YOU ARE GOING TO GET A TATTOO, TOO. FELICIA: AM NOT. LUCY: ARE, TOO. FELICIA: NO, I'M NOT. LUCY: YEAH, YOU ARE. FELICIA: WHY WOULD I WANT A "KEVIN" TATTOO ON MY BUTT? LUCY: OH, THIS BLOND THING. YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT TO CHANGE THE COLOR OF YOUR HAIR BECAUSE IT'S RIDICULOUS. THINK ABOUT IT -- YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET "KEVIN." YOU'RE GOING TO GET "MAC." HE'LL LOVE IT. YOU KNOW, GUYS THINK TATTOOS ARE VERY, VERY SEXY -- AND BESIDES, IT'LL PROVE TO BOTH OF THEM HOW MUCH WE LOVE THEM. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO NEED? WE JUST NEED A LITTLE BIT MORE OF THAT MARGARITA STUFF TO FORTIFY OUR COURAGE. FELICIA: LUCY, THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH MARGARITAS IN THE WORLD THAT WILL MAKE ME GET A "MAC" TATTOO. LUCY: YOU WANT TO BET? GAIL: EXCUSE ME, BUT DID SOMEBODY PAGE ME? KEVIN: I'M AFRAID THAT WAS ME. I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND. GAIL: OH, NO. NO, NOT AT ALL. YOU RESCUED ME FROM A STAFF MEETING. WHAT'S UP? KEVIN: WELL, I HAD ANOTHER VISIT FROM GARCIA. HE HAD SOME QUESTIONS FOR ME CONCERNING MY CONNECTION TO THE MURDERS. GAIL: WELL, IT IS UNDERSTANDABLE. I MEAN, YOUR BOOK IS -- IT PLAYS THE CENTRAL ROLE IN ALL OF THIS -- NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT THAT PERSON WHO TRIED TO SET YOU UP BY PLANTING THAT NOOSE AND THE CLOWN SUIT IN THE BACK OF YOUR CAR. WELL, YOU MUST BE STARTING TO FEEL ASSAULTED. KEVIN: I WANT TO CONSTRUCT A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE ON THIS BUTCHER, BUT I'M TOO CLOSE TO BE OBJECTIVE. GAIL: I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT IT. I ALSO HAVE A FRIEND WHO WORKS AT THE BUREAU, AND SHE'LL BE BACK IN TOWN NEXT WEEK. KEVIN: THAT'S TOO LATE. I WANT TO SET UP THE PROFILE AND THEN PUT TOGETHER A TRAP USING MYSELF AS BAIT. AND I WANT IT OVER BY THE WEDDING. FELICIA: MM-HMM. LUCY: MM-HMM, MM-HMM. FELICIA: HERE WE ARE -- HERE WE ARE AT THE CONVENT WHERE THEY WERE TAKING CARE OF VICTOR, REMEMBER? LUCY: MM-HMM. FELICIA: I THOUGHT THAT WAS REALLY NICE OF SISTER MARGUERITE TO TAKE THAT PICTURE, CONSIDERING WE WERE MAKING A MOCKERY OF HER LIFE'S WORK. LUCY: TRUE. TRUE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT, THOUGH? I NEVER WANTED TO TELL YOU THIS BEFORE, BUT NOW'S THE TIME. YOU WERE THE ABSOLUTE WORST NUN IN THE WORLD. FELICIA: ME? WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOU? STRADDLING THAT WALL WITH THOSE SILK STOCKINGS AND WAVING THAT BAGUETTE IN THE AIR? LUCY: HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I WAS HUNGRY, AND YOU KNOW HOW I GET WHEN I GET REALLY HUNGRY. AND BESIDES, I LOVE THOSE SILK STOCKINGS, YOU KNOW, FROM PAR-- PARIS HAS THE BE LINGERIE IN THE WORLD, TOO. YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK WE SHOULD SEE IF THEY COULD OVERNIGHT US A WHOLE BUNCH OF THAT LINGERIE-REE STUFF FOR OUR HONEYMOON! FELICIA: LUCY, YOU JUST BOUGHT OUT WYNDHAM'S, YOU NUT! LUCY: YEAH, I KNOW, BUT I WANT TO INDULGE KEVIN'S EVERY SINGLE FANTASY. FELICIA: SPARE -- SPARE ME THE GORY DETAILS. I HAVE VIRGIN EARS. LUCY: VIRGIN. VIRGIN, VIRGIN, VIRGIN. THAT'S THE WORD. THAT'S THE WORD I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR, AND YOU JUST FOUND IT! THAT'S WHAT KEVIN MAKES ME FEEL LIKE. HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE VIRGIN, LIKE IT'S THE FIRST TIME, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE HE LOVES ME FOR ME AND BECAUSE HE ACCEPTS ME FOR MY MINOR, MINOR FLAWS AND ALL. FELICIA: LUCY, HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE ANY MINOR FLAWS? LUCY: HMM, GOOD POINT. I DON'T HAVE ANY. BUT HE STILL LOVES ME, NAUGHTY AND NICE, AND HE TRUSTS ME AND I TRUST HIM. DO YOU KNOW, I TRUST HIM WITH MY WHOLE LIFE, AND I THINK THAT HE TRUSTS ME WITH HIS LIFE. FELICIA: THAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. LUCY: YEAH. WELL, YOU KNOW, MAC IS REALLY SWELL TOO, YOU KNOW. FELICIA: OH, I KNOW. I KNOW. AND I KNOW THE MORE YOU GO ON AND ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT KEVIN, IT MAKES ME JUST REALIZE HOW MUCH I LOVE MAC. LUCY: WELL, YEAH. OF COURSE YOU DO. AND FRIDAY, YOU'RE GOING TO PROVE IT. YOU'RE GOING TO WALK DOWN THAT AISLE IN THAT PLACE, YOU KNOW, WITH THAT DRESS ON THAT IS ONE OF TWO MOST BEAUTIFUL WEDDING DRESSES IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD, AND THERE WILL BE MAC, DASHING LITTLE MAC, DOWN THERE SMILING AT YOU WITH THAT DASHING LITTLE SMILE. HE'LL REACH OUT HIS HAND. HE'S GOING TO TAKE YOUR HAND IN HIS HAND AND HE'S GOING TO SAY "I DO. I DO, FELICIA, FOREVER AND EVER. I DO. I LOVE -- YOU." WHAT IS IT? OH, UH-OH. UH-OH. IS IT THE DRESS THING? YOU KNOW, WHAT, DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG? WHAT IS IT? DO YOU NEED CHOCOLATE? I HAVE CHOCOLATE! I HAVE CHOCOLATE SOMEWHERE. FELICIA: NO. NO. I'M JUST -- I'M -- I'M HAPPY. I'M REALLY HAPPY, YOU KNOW? I'M HAPPY. LUCY: YOU ARE HAPPY? WELL, YOU DON'T LOOK VERY HAPPY. HERE. HERE. BLOW. HERE, BLOW. YOU KNOW, BRIDES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ALL WEEPY AND EVERYTHING, YOU KNOW, BUT I THOUGHT THEY JUST USUALLY WAITED UNTIL THE WEDDING, YOU KNOW, NOT LIKE JUST DAYS BEFORE. I THOUGHT THEY WAITED TILL THAT MOMENT, YOU KNOW. BUT THIS IS BIG FOR YOU, OK, AND MAYBE THAT'S THE KIND OF GIRL YOU ARE. YOU'RE JUST A PROACTIVE KIND OF GIRL. YOU GET IT OUT OF THE WAY, I GUESS. FELICIA: YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT. I GOT TO GET A TATTOO. I MEANNO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I'VE GOT TO HAVE A SOUVENIR OF MAC'S LOVE RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW SO THAT I CAN HAVE HIM NEXT TO ME, YOU KNOW, ALL THROUGH ETERNITY. I GOT TO DO THAT. LUCY: OK, THEN. OK, WE'RE GOING TO DO IT. THEN LET'S GO. LET'S GET MARRIED TOGETHER -- FELICIA: OK. LUCY: AND LET'S GET TATTOOED TOGETHER. FELICIA: OK. LUCY: OK? FELICIA: AND SMASHED TOGETHER, TOO. LUCY: YEAH, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING. YOU BETCHA. HA! [DOORBELL RINGS] LUCY: UH-OH. FELICIA: HE'S HERE! LUCY: SHH, SHH, SHH. IT'S NOW OR NEVER. HERE WE GO. OK, YOU GO. GO. FELICIA: ONE, TWO, THREE. LUCY: OK. OK, WE CAN MAKE IT. I SEE HIM. FELICIA: MM-HMM. I CAN SEE HIM, TOO. I GOT IT, I GOT IT. LUCY: HI! MAN: NAME'S SPIKE. TATS TO GO. SOMEONE HERE WANTS THEIR BUT TAGGED? LUCY and FELICIA: SHE DOES. ON THE ONE HAND, I'M TOUGH, AS MY FAMILY CAN TELL YOU. ON THE OTHER HAND, I HAVE A SOFT SIDE. AND AT LAST, THERE'S A DISHWASHING LIQUID WITH THE SAME SPLIT PERSONALITY. IT CUTS TOUGH GREASE BETTER THAN OTHER BRANDS, YET WON'T REMOVE THE NATURAL OILS IN YOUR SKIN... SO IT'S GENTLE AND EASY ON YOUR HANDS. COME TO THINK OF IT, SPECIAL CARE'S A LOT LIKE ME: TOUGH WHEN NECESSARY, BUT BASICALLY A SOFT TOUCH. INTRODUCING NEW DAWN SPECIAL CARE. TAKES GREASE OUT OF YOUR WAY. RIGHT AWAY I THOUGHT, HEALTHY CHOICE ? BUT I WAS SHOCKED. CHUNKS OF BROWNIES. CARAMEL CAPPUCCINO CHOCOLATE CHUNK. ONLY 2 GRAMS OF FAT. WITH HEALTHY CHOICE, I'VE GOT A GREEN LIGHT TO EAT WHAT I LIKE. YEAH. ? - [ Laughing ] - WHEN YOU HAVE ONLY ONE OF SOMETHING KIDS WANT... AND TWO KIDS, THERE'S USUALLY TROUBLE. BUT AT LEAST ONE OF THE THINGS THEY BOTH WANT IS SUNNY DELIGHT. LAST ONE. ONLY ONE. MMM. HALF ? HALF AN HOUR. - THEY LOVE THE TASTE, YOU LOVE THE VITAMINS. - THAT'S NOT HALF ! - SO, EVERYTHING'S COOL. FOR A MINUTE. - NOW IT IS. REACH FOR THE GOOD STUFF. REACH FOR THE SUN. WHEN IT'S TIME TO CLEAN YOUR OUTSIDE WINDOWS, DOES THE JOB SEEM THIS BIG ? NEXT TIME, TRY WINDEX OUTDOOR. ITS CONCENTRATED FORMULA AND SHEETING ACTION... DISSOLVE TOUGH GRIME TO GET WINDOWS CLEAN. WINDEX OUTDOOR. EVE: SCOTT, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE? SCOTT: NO, WE HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO EACH OTHER. EVE: PLEASE. IT'S ABOUT THE ACCIDENT. SCOTT: ANOTHER APOLOGY ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE ANYTHING. EVE: NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. I FOUND MY GAS RECEIPT FROM THE DAY BEFORE THE ACCIDENT -- PROOF THAT MY TANK WAS FULL. SCOTT: SO? THAT OLD CAR OF YOURS HAD A LEAK IN IT. EVE: NO, NO, THAT'S NOT IT. THAT'S NOT IT. I CALLED THE GARAGE. I HAD THEM CHECK THE TANK AND THE LINE. THERE WERE NO LEAKS AND NO HOLES. SCOTT: EVE, THE POINT IS THAT YOU LEFT HER ALONE. EVE: I KNOW, AND I WAS WRONG TO DO THAT. I RELIVE THOSE THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD A MILLION TIMES A DAY, AND I WISH THAT I HAD NOT MADE THAT DECISION -- BUT I DID. I DID MAKE THAT DECISION, AND NOW I WANT TO FIND OUT IF SOMEONE FORCED ME INTO THAT CHOICE BY TAMPERING WITH MY CAR. SCOTT: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? EVE: PLEASE -- CAN WE PLEASE LOOK AT YOUR SECURITY TAPES FROM THAT DAY? BECAUSE MY CAR WAS PARKED OUT FRONT THE WHOLE TIME, AND SOMEBODY COULD'VE TAMPERED WITH MY CAR, AND IF THEY DID, IT WOULD'VE BEEN AT THE HOUR THAT I CAME BACK TO THE FIREHOUSE TO CLEAN UP FOR YOUR RETURN. IF SOMEONE TAMPERED WITH MY CAR, THAT'S WHEN IT WOULD'VE BEEN, AND I KNOW -- I KNOW THAT I HAD A FULL TANK OF GAS WHEN I LEFT AND TOOK SERENA TO BALLET CLASS. SCOTT: WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT IS SOME WILD-GOOSE CHASE HERE. EVE: PLEASE. SCOTT: AIN'T GOT TIME. EVE: PLEASE, SCOTT. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HELP ME, THAT'S FINE, BUT LET'S DO THIS FOR SERENA, BECAUSE SOMEONE MAY HAVE SABOTAGED ME TO GET TO HER. DON'T WE AT LEAST NEED TO CHECK THIS OUT? KEVIN: TELL ME WHAT ELSE YOU BELIEVE ABOUT HIM. GAIL: WELL, HIS -- OR HER -- THOUGHTS ARE VERY ORGANIZED. IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S MARGINALLY FUNCTIONAL, LIKE A SCHIZOPHRENIC WOULD BE. KEVIN: SERIAL KILLERS USUALLY USE THE SAME M.O., THE SAME PERSONAL RITUAL IN WHICH THEY RELIVE SOME TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. GAIL: YES, BUT IN THIS CASE, THE ONLY COMMON ELEMENT IS YOUR BOOK. AND TO KEEP IN SYNC WITH THIS BOOK, THIS PREDATOR IS WILLING TO TAKE NEW RISKS FOR EVERY CRIME. KEVIN: SO HE'S A THRILL-SEEKER. I CAN EXPLOIT THAT. GAIL: HE DEFINITELY WANTS POWER. KEVIN: THEN I'LL GIVE IT TO HIM OR AT LEAST THE APPEARANCE OF IT. LUCY: OWEE. OOH, OOH, OOH. OW! SPIKE: WAS THAT A COMPLAINT? LUCY: OOH, OOH. OH, NO, SIRREE, BOB, MR. SPIKE. NO, NO. YOU JUST KEEP ON DOING WHAT YOU DO BEST. FELICIA: DOES IT HURT MUCH? LUCY: UH-UH. UH-UH. NO, NO, NOT AT ALL. IT'S JUST KIND OF LIKE HAVING YOUR EYEBROWS TWEEZED ONE AT A TIME, SORT OF. FELICIA: THE THINGSE WOMEN DO FOR MEN. IT'S JUST RIDICULOUS. LUCY: WELL, IT'S GOING TO BE WORTH IT. JUST A LITTLE -- DISCOMFORT WILL BE WORTH EVERY PENNY, EVERY -- OW, OW, OW. OK, YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING HERE, PAL. DISTRACT ME. FELICIA: MAXIE AND I WENT SHOPPING FOR SHOES FOR THE WEDDING. LUCY: HMM. MM-HMM. FELICIA: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE -- THEY HAVE TWO-INCH HEELS FOR LITTLE GIRLS THAT ARE 7 YEARS OLD. LUCY: ARE YOU SERIOUS? THAT IS FABULOUS. DO YOU KNOW I WOULD'VE SOLD MY SOUL FOR A PAIR OF SHOES LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL? WHAT COLOR? WHAT COLOR DID YOU GET? FELICIA: OH, I'M NOT GOING TO BUY HER PUMPS. I WANT HER TO REMAIN A BABY FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. LUCY: MMM. MMM, MMM. A BABY. DO YOU REALIZE MAXIE IS GOING TO BE BABYSITTING FOR ME AND KEVIN'S CHILDREN WHEN -- SPIKE: HEY, BE STILL. LUCY: OW. SPIKE: I'M AN ARTIST. I CANNOT WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS. FELICIA: JEEZ. LUCY: I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY SORRY. SPIKE: MM-HMM. LUCY: OK, KEEP GOING. DISTRACT ME SOME MORE. DID YOU GET THE PUMPS? DID YOU GET THEM? FELICIA: NO, NO, NO, NO. SEE, SHE REALLY DOESN'T WANT THEM THAT MUCH. SHE'S JUST SORT OF BUYING INTO SOME KIND OF SOCIETAL STANDARD FOR FEMALE BEAUTY, DESPITE WHAT I BELIEVE. YOU KNOW. LUCY: YEAH, I KNOW YOU. OK, OK, YOU'RE RIGHT. MAYBE LITTLE GIRLS THAT AGE THESE DAYS DON'T NEED PUMPS LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW, BUT I STILL -- YOU KNOW, I STILL LIKE TO TURN A MAN'S HEAD EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. OF COURSE, THE ONLY HEAD I'M REALLY TURNING THESE DAYS IS KEVIN'S. FELICIA: YEAH, WELL, THE PROBLEM WITH THAT IS THAT SOMETIMES WHEN THEIR HEADS TURN, THEIR BRAINS FALL OUT. LUCY: MY BRAIN IS HAVING AN EXCELLENT IDEA RIGHT NOW. FELICIA: OH, GOD. DON'T HURT YOURSELF. BE CAREFUL. LUCY: IT'S OK. I'M FINE. OW. OH -- MY CLOSET. IN MY CLOSET I HAVE ALL THESE GREAT CLOTHES, A WHOLE SHIPMENT FROM A DESIGNER FROM SAKS THAT I'M SUPPOSED TO TRY OUT FOR MY HONEYMOON. DO YOU WANT TO TRY AND SEE IF THERE'S SOMETHING THAT'LL DISTRACT MAC FOR YOU AND MAKE HIS HEAD SPIN? FELICIA: HMM, WELL, LET'S SEE. WELL, WE COULD FIND SOMETHING FOR YOU THAT MIGHT BRING OUT SOME OF YOUR REFINING QUALITIES. LUCY: OH, THAT IS SO VERY FUNNY. HA, HA, HA. LET'S JUST SEE IF I HAVE ANYTHING THAT'S A KEEPER IN THERE. GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. FELICIA: LUCY, I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I HAVE BEEN DYING TO GET INTO YOUR CLOSET EVER SINCE I MET YOU. I'LL BE BACK. LUCY: GO, GIRL. GO GET IN THE CLOSET. OW. OH. OW! SINGER: ü SPRING IS HERE THE SKY IS BLUE WHOA ü LUCY: IT'S MINE. IT'S MINE. SINGERS: ü GOING TO THE CHAPEL ü LUCY: EW. SINGERS: ü AND WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED GOING TO THE CHAPEL AND WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED ü LUCY: NO, THAT'S LIKE A PRISSY, PRISSY -- SINGERS: ü GOING TO THE CHAPEL OF LOVE ü LUCY: BRAVO. SPIKE: HEY! ENOUGH ALREADY. AND, YOU, STOP WIGGLING. YOU'RE ALMOST DONE. LUCY: OH, FINALLY. OK, PAL, YOU'RE NEXT. OW. YOU'RE GOING TO BE NEXT. FELICIA: AND I CAN HARDLY WAIT. LUCY: I CAN TELL. OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, MR. SPIKE, COULD I JUST TAKE A LITTLE PEEKY-POO, PLEASE? SPIKE: NO. A FEW MORE FINISHING TOUCHES AND MY MASTERPIECE WILL BE REVEALED. LUCY: OH, GOODY. FELICIA: GOODY. LUCY: YOU KNOW, MY DOC IS GOING TO BE SO THRILLED TO SEE WHAT I'VE DONE FOR HIM. THE TOOTHPASTE SO ADVANCED, IT KEEPS WORKING... [ Brushing ] EVEN WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED BRUSHING. COLGATE TOTAL. SO ADVANCED, IT WORKS THROUGHOUT THE DAY... WHEREVER YOU ARE, FIGHTING CAVITIES AND TARTAR. IT FIGHTS BAD BREATH WHILE YOU'RE WORKING. IT EVEN FIGHTS PLAQUE AND GINGIVITIS... WHILE YOU'RE HAVING FUN. - SURPRISE ! - LONG-LASTING PROTECTION... THROUGHOUT THE DAY. [ Brushing ] COLGATE TOTAL: TINKLE, WEE-WEE, PIDDLE. WE HAVE A LOT OF CUTE NAMES FOR IT. BUT WETNESS ISN'T SO CUTE WHEN IT'S NEXT TO BABY'S SKIN. THAT'S WHY THERE'S NEW PAMPERS PREMIUM EXTRA PROTECTION. AMAZINGLY THIN. IT SPEEDS WETNESS AWAY FASTER THAN THE LEADING REGULAR BRAND. AND SEALS IT AWAY BETTER, SO BABY'S SKIN STAYS DRIER. IN FACT-- TINKLE OR TEE-TEE ? NOT A PROBLEM... WHEN YOU... SCOTT: THIS IS A BIG WASTE OF TIME BECAUSE. YOU SEE, YOUR CAR IS OUT OF RANGE OF THE CAMERA. THEREFORE, YOU COULDN'T SEE IF ANYBODY TAMPERED WITH IT OR NOT. EVE: I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. IT JUST SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE HOSPITAL. I SHOULDN'T HAVE BOTHERED YOU WITH THIS. SCOTT: NO, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE, BECAUSE I DON'T EVER WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT DAY AGAIN EVER. BESIDES, I'VE GOT TO GET THINGS READY FOR SERENA'S HOMECOMING. EVE: WAIT A MINUTE. DID YOU SEE THAT? SCOTT: NO, I DIDN'T. EVE: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. NO, NO, NO, COME ON, IT LOOKED LIKE THERE WAS A CAR. PLEASE, JUST REWIND IT. SCOTT: EVE, THIS IS PATHETIC AND IT'S DESPERATE AND -- EVE: PLEASE. SCOTT: ALL RIGHT, FINE. EVE: THERE. THERE IT IS. LOOK, THERE IS A CAR. IT'S IN THE BACKGROUND. IT'S GOING RIGHT NEXT TO THE FIREHOUSE. SCOTT: YEAH. EVE: IT'S LOOKS LIKE IT'S SLOWING DOWN, LIKE IT'S GOING TO STOP. SCOTT: OK, SO IT'S LUCY'S CAR. BIG DEAL. EVE: THAT'S -- KEVIN: I'D BE WILLING TO GO LIVE ON YOUR RADIO SHOW AND DISCUSS THE MURDERS AND HOW THEY RELATE TO MY NOVEL. THAT'S RIGHT. LIVE ON-AIR. YES, I WOULD BE WILLING TO TAKE CALL-INS FROM YOUR LISTENERS. IN FACT, I'D WELCOME IT. SPIKE: IT'S THE SEA OF FLAMES I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET THE MOST. FELICIA: OH, DON'T THINK. JUST CREATE ON MY CANVAS. LUCY: DID I HEAR YOU SAY "SEA OF FLAMES"? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU, GIRLFRIEND? YOU'RE GOING TO JOIN MOTLEY CRUE NOW? FELICIA: OH, NO. I'M SURE I COULD SING BETTER. LET ME SEE YOUR TATTOO. LUCY: CAN I TAKE THE GAUZE OFF NOW? SPIKE: SLOWLY. FELICIA: OK, GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE. LET'S SEE IF OLD SPIKEY'S AS GOOD AS HE SAYS HE IS. LUCY: OK, YOU READY? FELICIA: YEAH. LUCY: ONE, TWO -- OW -- THREE. OOH. HA. FELICIA: OH! LUCY: WHAT? FELICIA: OH, MY GOD! LUCY: WHAT IS IT? WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT? OH! OH! SPIKE: WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU NO LIKE? LUCY: OH. I NO LIKE? I NO LIKE? I AM MARRYING KEVIN! IT SAYS "MAC" ON MY BUTT! YOU'RE A BIG IDIOT. YOU ARE SUCH A BIG, BIG, AWFUL IDIOT. OH, MY GOODNESS. MAC!