pc aug 31 EVE: HEY. HEY. HELLO. CHRIS, YOU LEFT THE DOOR OPEN, DUMMY HEAD. ANYBODY HOME? OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD, WE'VE BEEN ROBBED. CHRIS! OH, MY GOD. CHRIS. CHRIS? OH. OH. OH, THANK GOD YOU'RE ALIVE. THANK GOD YOU'RE ALIVE. ALL RIGHT, HANG IN THERE. OH, GOD, HURRY, ANSWER. ANSWER. YES, YES, I NEED AN AMBULANCE RIGHT AWAY. I HAVE A MAN WHO'S UNCONSCIOUS. I THINK HE'S BEEN BEATEN. THIS IS 48 CHESTNUT AVENUE, PENTHOUSE. HURRY. KEVIN: HI. LUCY: FRANK TOLD ME THAT VICTOR HAD HAD A RELAPSE, AND SO I WAS SO WORRIED -- WELL, I JUST -- I HAD TO COME. WHAT HAPPENED? KEVIN: IT'S COMPLICATED. LUCY: WELL, DID HE? DID HE HAVE A RELAPSE? KEVIN: NO, NOT AT FIRST. HE FAKED HIS CONDITION TO BE ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL. HE CAME IN HERE TO TRY AND GET SOME INFORMATION ABOUT SUSANNE MADISON -- THAT'S LARK'S MOTHER -- AND GREG COOPER. LUCY: GREG COOPER. OH, MY GOODNESS. I FORGOT HE'S HERE. HE'S -- HE'S CRAZY. HE'S A HOMICIDAL SOCIOPATH. KEVIN: I KNOW, I KNOW. BUT WHEN WE FOUND OUT THAT SUSANNE WAS THE BAG LADY WHO BOUGHT THE VOICE ACTIVATOR, BUT THEN SUSANNE DIED -- OF NATURAL CAUSES, OR AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THE DOCTORS TELL US. LUCY: OH. THEN VICTOR'S OK. HE WAS JUST FAKING IT? SO THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT? HE WAS JUST BRAVE AND FOOLISH -- KEVIN: NO, HE'S NOT OK. HE'S INCOHERENT. SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM IN HERE, AND THEY WON'T RELEASE HIM TO ME. LUCY: OH. BUT YOU'RE A PSYCHIATRIST. YOU'RE BETTER QUALIFIED THAN ANYBODY HERE TO DEAL WITH HIM. KEVIN: HE SIGNED HIMSELF IN, SO HE CAN'T LEAVE UNTIL HE SIGNS HIMSELF OUT. LUCY: BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER, ARE YOU? KEVIN: NO, I DON'T INTEND TO. LUCY: YOU'RE PLANNING SOMETHING, AREN'T YOU? KEVIN: YEAH. LUCY: PLEASE -- PLEASE LET ME DO SOMETHING. LET ME HELP. I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR -- VICTOR. KEVIN: OK. LET'S . [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION] COURTNEY: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GOT HIT BY A TRUCK. FRANK: YOU SHOULD SEE THE OTHER GUY. WHAT DO YOU CARE, ANYWAY? COURTNEY: I DON'T. FRANK: OH, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE SAVING YOURSELF FOR JOE. COURTNEY: OH, SILLY ME. I THOUGHT AFTER THE OTHER NIGHT THAT WE HAD A TRUCE. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER. FRANK: YEAH, THAT WAS A NICE NIGHT. I LOVED THE WAY YOU CAME ON TO ME. COURTNEY: IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND. FRANK: HMM. IF THAT'S WHAT YOU PREFER TO THINK. COURTNEY: WHAT AN EGO. POOR JULIE. BEING IN THE SLAMMER'S PROBABLY A RELIEF. FRANK: JULIE WHO? YOU MAKE ME FORGET ALL ABOUT HER. COURTNEY: WOW, THAT'S GREAT LOYALTY, FRANK. OF COURSE, WHAT ELSE SHOULD I EXPECT FROM A MAN WHO SEDUCED HIS BROTHER'S GIRLFRIEND. FRANK: YOU KNOW, COURTNEY, YOU'RE LIVING IN THE PAST. JOE HASN'T EVEN GIVEN YOU A SECOND THOUGHT. HE'S -- HE'S ENGAGED TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. SHE'S SMART, FUNNY, EDUCATED. COURTNEY: AN EX-STRIPPER. YOUR MOTHER'S THRILLED. FRANK: SHE'LL GET OVER IT. COURTNEY: AND IF SHE KNEW WHAT YOU DID BEHIND JOE'S BACK? FRANK: SHE WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT. COURTNEY: OTHERS WOULD. AND LIKE YOU SAID, JOE'S MOVED ON, RIGHT? SO I REALLY WOULDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO LOSE IF I JUST TOLD EVERYONE. FRANK: ONLY THE ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD AND JOE'S WARM WELCOME. COURTNEY: I'D SURVIVE. I ALWAYS DO. FRANK: YOU KNOW, COURTNEY, YOU CAN'T KID A KIDDER. YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW ANY MORE THAN I DO. [PAGER BEEPS] FRANK: WELL, THAT'S ME. EMERGENCY. GOT TO GO. TRY NOT TO MISS ME TOO MUCH. COURTNEY: YOU KNOW, THAT WILL BE A CHALLENGE, BUT I THINK I CAN MANAGE IT. KEVIN: JUST WATCH YOUR STEP. THIS PLACE CAN BE FULL OF SURPRISES. LUCY: I KNOW. DON'T WORRY. WHATEVER HAPPENS, I WILL HANDLE IT. YOU JUST BE READY BECAUSE VICTOR'S GOING TO NEED, YOU KNOW, YOU TO ESCORT HIS LONG-LOST NIECE OUT TO SAFETY. KEVIN: WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. THE PERSON WHO HURT VICTOR IS STILL WALKING AROUND IN HERE. LUCY, I DON'T THINK I SHOULD PUT YOU IN HARM'S WAY LIKE THAT. LUCY: IT'S OK. IT REALLY IS OK. I WANT TO DO THIS FOR VICTOR. KEVIN: THEN LET'S DO IT. EVE: IT'S CHRIS. HE'S UNCONSCIOUS. HIS BLOOD PRESSURE'S A LITTLE LOW. IT'S 100/62. I THINK HE'S BEEN ASSAULTED. FRANK: PULSE? EVE: 92. AROUND 92. ANYWAY, HE'S GOT SOME SORT OF A HEAD INJURY. FRANK: WELL, LOOKS LIKE HE CAME HOME, SURPRISED A BURGLAR. OK, LET'S GET HIM ON THE GURNEY. IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S COMING TO. EVE: OH, CHRIS? FRANK: CHRIS? OK. HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, BIG FELLOW. THE BELL RANG. THE FIGHT IS OVER. EVE: HEY, CHRIS, CAN YOU HEAR ME? WHAT HAPPENED? WHO DID THIS TO YOU? CHRIS: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. FRANK: HE'S STILL DISORIENTED. EVE: ALL RIGHT, LISTEN. LISTEN TO ME -- IT'S EVE. YOU'VE BEEN HURT. WE'RE GOING TO TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL. CHRIS: NO WAY. FRANK: COME ON. I'LL DRIVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL SAFELY. I'M SURE THERE ARE PATIENTS YOU WANT TO SEE AND RESEARCH YOU WANT TO DO. CHRIS: EVE, YOU'RE GOING TO TREAT ME HERE. EVE: NO WAY. YOU NEED X-RAYS. WE'RE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL. CHRIS: I'M FINE. EVE: NO! LET ME BE THE JUDGE OF THAT. LISTEN, WE'RE GOING TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. YOU'LL LOVE IT. YOU'LL BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. IT'LL BE GREAT. AND BY THE WAY, I'M GOING TO GO WITH YOU. EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE, OK? CHRIS: EVE -- EVE: NO MORE OBJECTIONS. LET'S GO. FRANK: OK, ON THE GURNEY. LUCY: [SOUTHERN ACCENT] WELL, WELL, WELL. LOOK AT YOU. HI, THERE, SUGAR. LISTEN, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD HELP ME. I'M LOOKING FOR MY DEAR, WONDERFUL UNCLE, VICTOR COLLINS. COULD YOU TELL ME WHERE HE MHT BE? [ Announcer ] IF YOU'VE GOT LITTLE KIDS, YOU'VE GOT BIG MESSES. TRY... WITH SPONGELIKE DURABILITY. OLD SPONGES CAN BE GRIMY. ORDINARY PAPER TOWELS TEAR. BUT RINSE AND REUSE CAN HANDLE THE TOUGHEST JOBS. ONE SHEET IS DURABLE ENOUGH TO RINSE, WRING AND REOPEN. IT WORKS TILL THE JOB'S DONE. THEN THROW THE MESS AWAY ! BOUNTY RINSE AND REUSE. IMAGINE A DAY WITHOUT ALLERGIES... WITHOUT SINUS PRESSURE HEADACHE AND PAIN. MAKE IT HAPPEN WITH BENADRYL ALLERGY/SINUS HEADACHE. UNLIKE THE LEADING PRESCRIPTION ALLERGY MEDICINES THAT DON'T HAVE A PAIN RELIEVER BENADRYL ALLERGY/SINUS HEADACHE GIVES YOU MAXIMUM STRENGTH SINUS PAIN RELIEF PLUS THE ALLERGY RELIEF OF BENADRYL'S HISTAMINE BLOCKER. IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT ALLERGIES AND SINUS PAIN WITH BENADRYL. O.K., CHARLIE, TIME FOR BED. I'M NOT KIDDING, MISTER. CHARLES, I'M REALLY NOT KIDDING. WITH DOUBLE THE CREME... I AM COUNTING TO 10. IT'S DOUBLE THE LICKS. 1--2... ONLY FROM OREO. #y LUCY: [SOUTHERN ACCENT] WELL, THANK -- YOU. OH, MY, MY, UNCLE VICTOR. AREN'T YOU LOOKING A MITE PEAKED THERE. WELL, SHAME ON YOU. A LITTLE VISIT WILL CHEER YOU UP AND MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IN NO TIME. LISTEN, WE'RE GOING TO BE FINE. YOU CAN JUST RUN ALONG BECAUSE I WANT A NICE LONG VISIT, YOU KNOW, AND HE WOULDN'T HARM A FLY. HE'S MY BEST BUDDY. SO YOU JUST RUN ON. THANK YOU SO MUCH. TA-TA-TA. [NORMAL VOICE] VICTOR? VICTOR, HI. LISTEN, IT'S ME. IT'S LUCY. WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, GETTING YOURSELF IN TROUBLE WITHOUT ME? YOU KNOW WE DO MUCH BETTER OFF IF WE GET IN TROUBLE TOGETHER. OH, BOY. KEVIN WAS RIGHT. SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED TO YOU, HUH? OK. WELL, YOU'RE BACK TO SQUARE ONE, AND WE GOT TO FIX THAT. SO WE ARE GOING TO BEGIN OPERATION MAKEOVER. YOU HEAR ME? NOW, LISTEN -- THIS MAY NOT BE THE MOST DIGNIFIED WAY FOR YOU TO LOOK, AND YOU MAY HATE ME AFTERWARDS, BUT MAYBE YOU'RE SO OUT OF IT YOU WON'T EVEN REMEMBER. BUT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET THIS DRESS ON YOU. SO I'M GOING TO NEED A LITTLE BIT OF COOPERATION HERE, OK? SO I TELL YOU WHAT -- YOU JUST LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY, AND MAYBE YOU CAN HELP A LITTLE. SIT UP THERE. THANK YOU. THAT'S GOOD. OK, NOW, LISTEN -- WE GOT TO HURRY, SO I'M GOING TO PUT THIS OVER YOUR HEAD. YOU MAY GET A LITTLE HOT, BUT DON'T WORRY. IT'LL BE OK. AND I'VE GOT A NICE WIG AND SOME SUNGLASSES. NOW, LET'S GET YOUR ARM IN. I EVEN HAVE SOME LOVELY RED LIPSTICK TO MATCH MINE. AND WE'LL GET YOU TAKEN CARE OF IN NO TIME. PERFECT. OH, THIS IS GOOD. THIS IS LOOKING GOOD. I THINK IT'S GOING TO FIT. YES! OK, LISTEN -- I HAVE NEVER DRESSED A 200-POUND MAN BEFORE. I'VE UNDRESSED A FEW, BUT THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY. OK, WE'LL ADJUST THIS LATER. LET'S SEE HOW THESE DO. FIT? YES. PERFECT. OK. EARRINGS. THE IDEA IS TO MAKE YOU LOOK KIND OF SORT OF EXACTLY LIKE ME. WE'RE SIMILAR, RIGHT? WE'RE ALMOST FAMILY. HERE YOU GO. OK, SCARF. WE GOT TO COVER UP THOSE HOSPITAL BLUES. THIS IS WORKING GOOD. ALL RIGHT, LET ME SEE. OH, WELL, HERE -- WE'LL STUFF IT IN LIKE THAT. WHERE'S YOUR HAT? OH, WIG. I HAVE A WIG. OH, YEAH. I FORGOT. IT LOOKS JUST LIKE MY HAIR. THEY'LL NEVER KNOW. HERE YOU GO. LET'S DO THIS. OH, YOU'RE STARTING TO GET SWEATY. YOU'RE GOING TO BE OK. ALL RIGHT, HAT, HAT, HAT. OH, THIS IS GETTING GOOD. OK, NOW, LISTEN -- I'M GOING TO ADD A LITTLE BIT OF LIPSTICK, AND YOU'LL BE FINE. I'VE GOT A JACKET, TOO. WAIT A MINUTE. GIVE ME THOSE PRETTY, POUTY LIPS OF YOURS. OK, BEAUTIFUL. WELL, LET'S NOT GO THERE. YOU'RE NOT BEAUTIFUL. MIGHT BE A BIT GHASTLY, BUT NO ONE WILL NOTICE. CHRIS: GO. GO. EVE: COME ON. NOW, YOU SHOULDN'T REFUSE ADDITIONAL TREATMENT. CHRIS: THE E.R. X-RAYS PROVED NOTHING WAS BROKEN, OK? I'M FINE. STOP FUSSING. EVE: FRANK, WILL YOU HELP ME OUT HERE, PLEASE? FRAN I THINK THAT BLOW TO YOUR HEAD KNOCKED YOU SENSELESS. EVE: DID YOU INTERRUPT A BURGLARY? WHAT HAPPENED? CHRIS: IT WAS MORE LIKE AN ATTEMPTED MURDER. EVE: WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? THE "GENERAL HOMICIDE" MURDERER CAME AFTER YOU? CHRIS: MAYBE. FRANK: IF IT WAS, YOUR LEGS WOULD HAVE BEEN HACKED OFF. YOUR CHARACTER IN THE BOOK WAS CUT DOWN TO SIZE? EVE: DID YOU GET A GOOD LOOK AT HIM? FRANK: WELL, DID YOU? CHRIS: NO. NO, IT WAS TOO DARK. EVE: OK. JUST LET ME ADMIT YOU, ALL RIGHT, SO THAT WAY I CAN GO BACK TO THE APARTMENT AND CLEAN UP, OK? CHRIS: NO. I'M GOING HOME WITH YOU. EVE: NO, YOU'RE NOT. BECAUSE IF YOU GET SICKER, YOU'RE GOING TO TURN AROUND AND SUE ME FOR MALPRACTICE. NOW, I'M GOING TO SCHEDULE YOU FOR A CAT SCAN. YOU STAY RIGHT HERE. FRANK, PLEASE, WILL YOU JUST STAY WITH HIM? AND IF YOU HAVE TO, TRY AND BEAT SOME SENSE INTO HIM, ALL RIGHT? FRANK: WOULD I DO THAT? CHRIS: YOU'RE PSYCHO, MAN. I'M OUT OF HERE. FRANK: HEY, TAKE IT EASY. TAKE IT EASY. CHRIS: GET OFF ME. DON'T TOUCH ME. YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN AND I'LL KILL YOU. FRANK: OH, I'M SCARED. CHRIS: YOU SHOULD BE. FRANK: YOU HAD IT COMING. YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR ALIBI FOR EVE THE NIGHT JULIE'S FATHER WAS KILLED, AND YOU AND EVE WERE GOING TO LET HER ROT IN JAIL. CHRIS: THE ONLY REASON JULIE IS IN THE LOCKUP IS BECAUSE THE COPS HAVE A MOUNTAIN OF EVIDENCE PROVING SHE'S BEEN KILLING EVERYBODY. YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T SWEAT IT, THOUGH, BECAUSE MAYBE THEY'LL GIVE YOU ADJOINING CELLS WHEN I GET YOU ARRESTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER. FRANK: YOU WON'T DO THAT. CHRIS: WATCH ME. FRANK: YOU DO IT AND I'LL TELL THE WORLD YOU WERE USING ME AS A TEST FOR DL-56. I TELL AND YOU CAN WATCH ALL THE MONEY THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO GET FROM SELLING THE PATENT EVAPORATE. CHRIS: YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE HAD AN IDEA FOR A NEW EXPERIMENT. YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT. I'M GOING TO CUT YOU OFF FROM YOUR SUPPLY. FRANK: GET REAL. CHRIS: YOU AFRAID YOU'LL DIE LIKE KAREN'S TEST ANIMALS? FRANK: IF I DIE, I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME. CHRIS: NO, DON'T WORRY. YOU KNOW, SOME OF THOSE LAB RATS ACTUALLY SURVIVED. MAYBE YOU'LL GET LUCKY. EVE: ALL RIGHT. THE CAT SCAN IS SET. COME ON, LET'S GO. CHRIS: THE ONLY PLACE I'M GOING IS HOME. EVE: OH, COME ON, RAMSEY. SINCE WHEN WERE YOU ARING WITH A GIRL WHO'S TRYING TO GET YOU IN A RECLINING POSITION? LUCY: OH, BOY. I HOPE MY LIPS DON'T LOOK LIKE YOUR LIPS. BUT YOU LOOK GRAND, JUST GRAND. OK. [KNOCK ON DOOR] LUCY: THIS IS IT. THIS IS IT. LUCY: WE GOT TO GET YOU UP AND OUT OF HERE. YOU'VE GOT A HOT DATE WITH FREEDOM -- WHOA -- AND MENTAL HEALTH. WATCH THOSE HIGH HEELS. IT TAKES YOU A MINUTE, BUT YOU GET USED TO THEM. MAYBE YOU'LL COME TO LIKE THEM. OK, HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO. OH. OH. BELLA IS READY FOR HER GRAND EXIT. GOOD LUCK. OH, OH -- KEVIN: OK, OK, OK. LUCY -- LUCY, BE CAREFUL. LUCY: OK. KEVIN: ALL RIGHT. NOW, BELLA, I TOLD YOU VISITING VICTOR AND TRAVELING IN ONE DAY WOULD JUST BE TOO MUCH. YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED AT THE HOTEL SO YOU COULD VISIT HIM TOMORROW. COME ON. I'LL JUST DRIVE YOU BACK. VICTOR: WHERE? KEVIN: TO THE HOTEL. WE'LL LEAVE -- YES. WE'LL LEAVE ALL THAT NIGHTCLUBBING FOR TOMORROW, ALL RIGHT? VICTOR: NO, NO. KEVIN: BELLA -- ORDERLY: IS THERE A PROBLEM, DOCTOR? KEVIN: NO, NO. NO. NOT AT ALL. I THINK JUST SEEING HER UNCLE IN SUCH A BAD STATE WAS A TOO MUCH FOR HER. ORDERLY: REALLY? KEVIN: YES, YES. THANK YOU. LUCY: ANTS! OH, MY GOODNESS, I'M COVERED IN ANTS. THEY'RE BITING ME. THEY'RE STINGING ME. OH, MY GOD! THEY'RE ON YOU. THE ANTS ARE ON YOU. OH, LET ME GET YOUR BACK. ORDERLY: LADY, IT'S OK. IT'S ALL RIGHT. LUCY: THEY'RE STINGING YOU. OH, THEY'RE CRAWLING UP YOUR ARMS. THEY'RE GOING UP YOUR HEAD. THEY'RE IN YOUR EARS! OH, EW, EW, EW. OH, THEY'RE IN MY EARS NOW. KEVIN: WELL, I SURE HOPE THAT POOR SOUL WILL BE ALL RIGHT. WHAT YOU NEED IS A NICE HOT SOAK AND A GIN AND TONIC OUT OF THE MINI BAR. LUCY: THEY'RE FIRE ANTS. ORDERLY: LADY, IT'S OK. IT'S OK. LUCY: OH, THEY'RE GOING TO GET ON YOU, TOO. THEY'RE GOING TO STING YOU. ORDERLY: COME ON. LUCY: OH, MY GOODNESS. THEY'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY. ORDERLY: GO GET SOME RESTRAINTS. LUCY: LET GO OF ME. LOOK, THE ANTS -- OH, I SEE THEM. THEY'RE CRAWLING UP YOUR NOSE. THEY'RE GOING TO GET IN YOUR EYES. OOH, I'M GOING TO GO CRAZY, AND YOU'RE GOING TO GO WITH ME. ( ominous music playing ) ( breathing heavily ) ( metal clanging ) I SAY, "CLEAN YOUR ROOM." THEY SAY, "ALREADY DID." I SAY, "GO TO SLEEP." THEY SAY, "WHY ?" I PICK MY BATTLES, BUT NOT ON IMPORTANT STUFF LIKE TEETH. MY TEETH ? OF COURSE THEY'RE HEALTHY. I'M A CREST KID. SO MY CREST KIDS USE CREST CAVITY PROTECTION. SOME CAVITY-PRONE PLACES CAN WEAKEN. THAT'S WHERE CREST FLUORIDE PENETRATES, AND OVER TIME CAN STRENGTHEN 'EM. AND STRONG TEETH HELP BUILD STRONG KIDS. ü MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL ü ü BEWITCH, BEJEWEL, BEDAZZLE ü ü OH, WITH COLORS OUT OF FAIRY TALES ü ü SMOKY TOPAZ LIPS ü ü PEACOCK NAILS ü ü PLUM FAIRY ü ü IS IT TRUE ü ü OR MAGIC ü ü UNDER THE SPELL OF YOU ü ü ENCHANTED FACE ENCHANTED WORLD ü ü EASY, BREEZY, BEAUTIFUL ü ü COVER GIRL üü WHEN YOU COMBINE REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS AND CRISPY WAFERS, THE COMBINATION IS IRRESISTIBLE. REESE STICKS... EVE: WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS YOUR HEAD IS AS HARD AS YOUR HEART. NO FRACTURES. CHRIS: HMM. I ALREADY KNEW THAT. EVE: I STILL WANT TO ADMIT YOU. CHRIS: WOULD YOU GIVE IT UP? I WAS RIGHT. YOU WERE WRONG. NOW, CAN WE PLEASE GO HOME? EVE: COME ON, LET'S CALL THE POLICE FROM HERE. MAYBE THEY CAN MEET US BACK AT YOUR APARTMENT AND THEY CAN GET ALL THE INFORMATION ABOUT THE ROBBERY. CHRIS: NO. NO, I'M NOT GOING TO REPORT IT. EVE: WHY NOT? CHRIS: UNTIL THESE MURDERS ARE SOLVED, I SUGGEST WE STAY AS FAR AWAY FROM THE PORT CHARLES POLICE DEPARTMENT AS POSSIBLE. EVE: BUT LISTEN -- THIS COULD BE CONNECTED TO THE KILLINGS. CHRIS: I DON'T THINK SO. EVE: WELL, I DO, ALL RIGHT? AND AS YOUR ROOMMATE, I DO NOT WANT TO RISK GOING BACK TO THAT APARTMENT ALONE AND HAVING THE KILLER COME BACK TO TAKE A SECOND STAB AT YOU. NOW, IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO REPORT THIS, I AM. CHRIS: EVE, COME HERE. COME HERE. EVE: ALL RIGHT. WHAT? CHRIS: I KNOW WHO ATTACKED ME. IT WAS FRANK. EVE: FRANK? CHRIS: YEAH. I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING IN FRONT OF HIM IN CASE IT MIGHT SET HIM OFF AGAIN, BUT HE FOUND OUT THAT OUR ALIBIS FOR DEVLIN'S MURDER WERE BOGUS. HE WENT BALLISTIC ON ME. EVE: HOW DID HE FIND OUT? CHRIS: LUCY COE WAS OUTSIDE OUR DOOR LAST NIGHT -- EVE: OH. CHRIS: AND SHE OVERHEARD US DISCUSSING IT. EVE: DAMN IT. DAMN IT! I KNEW THAT LUCY NEEDED AMMUNITION, AND I GAVE IT TO HER. CHRIS: YEAH. TOUGH LUCK. EVE: THAT'S STILL NO EXCUSE FOR WHAT FRANK DID TO YOU. CHRIS: WELL, FRANK HASN'T EXACTLY BEEN HIMSELF LATELY. YOU REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS IN DETOX FOR PAINKILLERS? EVE: YES. CHRIS: IT WASN'T PAINKILLERS. HE WAS REALLY BEING WEANED OFF DL-56. HE'S BEEN ON THAT JUNK SINCE HE FELL OFF THE ROOF. DEVLIN STARTED HIM ON IT. EVE: YOU'RE KIDDING ME. CHRIS: NO. I MEAN, HE'S CLEAN NOW, BUT THE DRUG CAUSED SOME PERMANENT PERSONALITY CHANGES. WHEN HE FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS ALIBI THING, HE JUST WENT NUTS. EVE: OH, MY GOD. IF FRANK AND LUCY KNOW, THAT MEANS THE POLICE MUST KNOW. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? CHRIS: STICK TO THE STORY. NO ONE CAN BREAK IT IF WE STAND FIRM. LARK: FRANK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? FRANK: I'M LOOKING FOR THE DL-56 FORMULA. I KNOW I HID IT HERE SOMEWHERE. LARK: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D EVEN CONSIDER GOING BACK TO USING IT. THAT DRUG ALMOST KILLED YOU. FRANK: OH, IT HAS TO BE HERE. IT HAS TO. LARK: I'LL CALL JOE. FRANK: DON'T YOU DARE. LARK: IF YOU'RE IN PAIN -- OH, MY GOD. I KNOW THAT LOOK. YOU'RE ALREADY USING. YOU'RE IN WITHDRAWAL? YOU WENT BACK TO DL-56 AFTER EVERYTHING WE WENT THROUGH? FRANK: I NEVER STOPPED. LARK: BUT YOU WERE IN THE CHEM WARD. JOE AND KAREN HAD YOU UNDER OBSERVATION. FRANK: I NEEDED IT, LARK. I HAD WAYS OF GETTING IT. LARK: YOU'VE BEEN ON DL-56 THIS WHOLE TIME? YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO US? FRANK: I HAVE BEEN KEEPING MYSELF ALIVE. NOW, MOVE. I NEED THE FORMULA. LARK: YOU CAN'T. I DESTROYED IT. FRANK: WHAT? LARK: I FOUND IT ONE DAY WHEN I WAS CLEANING, SO I BURNED IT BECAUSE I NEVER, EVER WANTED YOU TO USE THAT POISON AGAIN. FRANK: YOU'RE LYING. LARK: NO. IT WAS IN THE DICTIONARY. FRANK: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME! LARK: I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU. FRANK: BY WHAT? BY KILLING ME? LARK: FRANK, I THOUGHT YOU WERE OFF DL-56. I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D NEED THE FORMULA AGAIN. HOW COULD I KNOW YOU WERE STILL ON IT? [STAIRS CREAK] COURTNEY: EXCUSE ME. JUST PASSING THROUGH. OH. AM I INTERRUPTING SOMETHING? PLEASE, DON'T STOP ON MY ACCOUNT. FRANK: NO. NOT A THING. COURTNEY: WELL, I HOPE THERE'S SOME PIZZA LEFT. I'M STARVING. FRANK: OH, GREAT. NOW ALL OF PORT CHARLES WILL KNOW. LARK: I DON'T THINK SHE HEARD. FRANK: WELL, OF COURSE SHE DID. THE ONLY QUESTION IS, HOW MUCH DID SHE HEAR? LUCY: GUYS? OH, GUYS -- YOW! ORDERLY: OK, NOW, YOU SIT RIGHT HERE WHILE WE FIGURE OUT WHICH ROOM YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN. LUCY: OK. GOOD. THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO, AND I'M GOING TO BE VERY, VERY GOOD. I PROMISE I'LL BE SO GOOD THAT YOU'LL BE ABLE TO TAKE THESE THINGS OFF OF ME ANY MINUTE. ORDERLY: NOT ON MY SHIFT. LUCY: OH, COME ON. WAIT -- YOU DON'T -- YOU DON'T REALLY INTEND TO JUST LEAVE ME IN THESE THINGS? I MEAN, I REALLY WILL GO CRAZY. I'M PRACTICALLY HELPLESS HERE. ORDERLY: THAT'S THE IDEA. IT'S TOO BAD WE CAN'T RESTRAIN HER MOUTH. LUCY: OH, VERY FUNNY. YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT ME TO PIPE DOWN, YOU JUST ASK POLITELY AND I PERHAPS WILL. ASK ME. JUST GO AHEAD. ASK ME. ASK ME ANYTHING. OH, NEVER MIND. [LUCY SOUNDS RASPBERRY] LUCY: OK, CALM DOWN. YOU'VE BEEN IN A WORSE FIX THAN THIS, I'M SURE, IF YOU COULD THINK OF ONE. LET'S JUST SETTLE INTO THAT ZEN-LIKE CALM. OH, I CAN'T. I GOT TO DO SOMETHING. I'LL READ THE BOOK. I CAN'T REACH THE BOOK. I'LL PAINT MY TOENAILS. PLAY SOME CARDS. NO, I CAN'T DO THAT. MY NOSE. OH, MY GOODNESS. OH. OH, MY GOODNESS, IT ITCHES. OH, IT'S GOING TO REALLY, REALLY DRIVE ME NUTS. OH, DRAT. OK, DEEP BREATH. THINK. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? SING. YOU CAN'T STOP ME FROM SINGING! I'M GOING TO SING. ü 99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL 99 --ü EVERYBODY, JOIN IN. ü 99 BOTTLES OF BEER YOU TAKE ONE DOWN AND PASS IT AROUND 98 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL ü EVERYBODY! ü 98 -- ü COOPER.