Pc mar 23 1999 [CLOSED CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY ABC, INC., AND JOHNSON & JOHNSON, WHERE QUALITY HEALTH CARE PRODUCTS HAVE BEEN A TRADITION FOR GENERATIONS] SCOTT: ARE YOU WATCHING IT AGAIN? LUCY: YEAH. OOH, THANKS. I CAN'T HELP MYSELF. LOOK AT THEM -- JOE AND KAREN. IT'S JUST ALL SO ROMANTIC. SCOTT: YOU KNOW, IF I HEAR THAT "ROMANTIC" WORD ONE MORE TIME -- [TURNS TV OFF] SCOTT: I MIGHT HAVE TO JUST JUMP OUT THE WINDOW. LUCY: ALL RIGHT. SO WHAT IS IT WITH YOU, HMM? ARE YOU GETTING TIRED OF A LITTLE AMORE? SCOTT: NO. NOT AT ALL. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I'M HAPPY THAT THESE DRESSES ARE SELLING LIKE HOTCAKES. I'M HAPPY THAT WE GOT OUR FIRST SHIPMENT OUT, AND I'M HAPPY THAT IN ABOUT A MONTH, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE OUR OWN WAREHOUSE UP AND GOING, AND WE'RE GOING TO 86 THAT BORDISSO RIGHT OUT OF THE PICTURE. BUT I THINK THAT WE -- I KNOW WE SHOULD TAKE THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON OFF AND DO SOMETHING ELSE. LUCY: WOW. "WE"? YOU KNOW, FOR A GUY WHO HATES THE WORD, YOU SURE ACT ROMANTIC. SCOTT: WELL, I LIKE ACTING IT. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? SERENA IS AT SCHOOL. WE HAVE THE FIREHOUSE TO OURSELVES. LUCY: MM-HMM. SCOTT: WHAT SHOULD WE DO FIRST? LUCY: OH, LET ME THINK. WHERE TO START? SCOTT: WHERE TO START. [TELEPHONE RINGS] SCOTT: WHAT ARE YOU -- ARE YOU CRAZY? WE'RE NOT ANSWERING THE PHONE. [RING] LUCY: IT COULD BE SERENA'S SCHOOL. WE HAVE TO. SCOTT: BROTHER. RESPONSIBILITY IS TOUGH. [RING] SCOTT: HELLO? MAN: IS LUCY COE THERE? SCOTT: UM, SHE IS HERE, BUT SHE'S KIND OF GETTING TIED UP. MAN: I'M WILLIAM WOLFSON WITH "THE PORT CHARLES HERALD." I'D LIKE HER COMMENTS ON THE SCANDAL SURROUNDING THE SERENA LINE OF DRESSES. SCOTT: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WHAT -- SCANDAL? SCANDAL INVOLVING THE SERENA DRESS LINE? DID YOU JUST SAY THAT? LUCY: A SCANDAL? WILLIAM: WE RECEIVED AN ANONYMOUS CALL THAT HER DRESSES ARE BEING MANUFACTURED BY UNDERAGE WORKERS IN SOUTHEAST ASIA WHO WORK FOR PENNIES A DAY. SCOTT: WELL, THAT'S CRAZY. WILLIAM: SO SHE DENIES IT. SCOTT: ABSOLUTELY. THOSE DRESSES WERE MADE RIGHT HERE IN NEW YORK BY DAVID VINCENT BORDISSO. FRANK: IS KAREN THERE? COURTNEY: YES. FRANK: HOW DOES SHE LOOK? COURTNEY: WORRIED. FRANK: JOE SAID SHE DIDN'T SLEEP AT ALL LAST NIGHT, PANICKED THAT GRANDMA'S RING IS GONE FOREVER. COURTNEY: GOOD. WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HER A CALL, TELL HER THE BAD NEWS. KAREN: HELLO? FRANK: KAREN, IT'S FRANK. KAREN: DID YOU FIND IT? FRANK: I'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE. KAREN: WHAT ABOUT THE PLUMBER? FRANK: HE TOOK THE ENTIRE DRAIN APART. NOTHING WAS THERE. KAREN: OH! I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST THAT RING. YOUR MOTHER WAS SO UPSET. FRANK: LOOK, I KNOW YOU THINK YOU WERE WEARING IT AT THE PARTY, BUT MAYBE YOU WEREN'T. MAYBE YOU TOOK IT OFF AT YOUR APARTMENT, OR MAYBE IT FELL OFF SOMEWHERE BETWEEN YOUR PLACE AND HERE. KAREN: NO, IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKELY. I REMEMBER TAKING IT OFF. FRANK: WELL, IT CAN'T HURT TO LOOK. YOU CHECK AROUND YOUR PLACE AND ANYWHERE ELSE YOU WERE THE OTHER NIGHT. KAREN: YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT CAN'T HURT TO LOOK. YOU'RE RIGHT. FRANK: GOOD LUCK. KAREN: THANK YOU, FRANK. I'LL NEED IT. COURTNEY: KAREN WILL SEARCH THAT APARTMENT FROM TOP TO BOTTOM. AND THEN WHEN SHE DOESN'T FIND THE RING -- FRANK: SHE'LL THINK ABOUT EVERYWHERE ELSE SHE WAS THAT NIGHT, AND THEN SOONER OR LATER, SHE'LL GO TO JOE'S CAR. COURTNEY: OH. OH, YOU MEAN JOE'S CAR WHERE YOU HID THOSE SEXY UNDIES? FRANK: THAT'S THE ONE. COURTNEY: NOW, YOU DON'T THINK KAREN WOULD GET THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT HER FIANCE, DO YOU? FRANK: IF THERE IS ANY JUSTICE IN THE WORLD, SHE WILL THINK ST. JOE IS GETTING IT ON WITH SOMEONE ELSE. COURTNEY: AND WE HAVE A FRONT-ROW SEAT TO THE ACTION. THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN. [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY NCI'S CORPORATE PARTNERS] LUCY: THIS JUST HAS TO BE SOME SORT OF HUGE MISTAKE BECAUSE BORDISSO TOLD US THAT EVERYTHING WAS ABOVEBOARD AT HIS FACTORIES. SO, YOU DON'T THINK -- I MEAN, UNLESS HE ACTUALLY DID USE CHEAP FOREIGN LABOR. SCOTT: NO. THE DEAL WE MADE, THE DRESSES HAD TO BE MADE IN THE U.S.A. WITH A UNION CONTRACT. LUCY: RIGHT, RIGHT. SCOTT: IF HE DIDN'T DO THAT, THEN WE'RE GOING TO CRUCIFY HIM. LUCY: YEAH. WAIT, WHO ARE YOU CALLING? SCOTT: BORDISSO. WE GOT TO GET THE REAL STORY OUT, OTHERWISE IT'S GOING TO BE A PUBLIC RELATIONS DISASTER. HELLO? HELLO. YEAH, DAVID BORDISSO. CHECKED OUT? AFTER WHAT? OH. THANK YOU. GOOD-BYE. LUCY: WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED? SCOTT: THAT SNAKE GAVE A NEWS INTERVIEW, AND THEN HE SLITHERS OUT OF TOWN. LUCY: HE GAVE A NEWS INTERVIEW? SCOTT: YEAH. LUCY: OH, BOY. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR WHAT HE SAID. SCOTT: WELL, I BET IT WAS WITH THE REPORTER THAT JUST CALLED HERE. HE GOT AHOLD OF HIM. ALL RIGHT. LUCY: WHAT? WHAT, ARE YOU CALLING HIM? SCOTT: I'M GOING TO STAR 69 THIS REPORTER, FIND OUT -- HELLO? YEAH, WILLIAM WOLFSON. OH, THAT'S YOU. THIS IS SCOTT BALDWIN. WILLIAM: MR. BALDWIN. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL YOU. SCOTT: WELL, GOOD. DID YOU SPEAK TO BORDISSO? WILLIAM: I DID. SCOTT: AND DID HE TELL YOU HOW THOSE DRESSES WERE MANUFACTURED? WILLIAM: ACTUALLY, HE SAID HE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MANUFACTURING OF THE SERENA LINE OF CLOTHING. SCOTT: WELL, THEN HE'S A LYING COYOTE. WILLIAM: ALSO, I HAVE CONFIRMED THAT THE DRESSES WERE INDEED MADE IN SWEATSHOPS OVERSEAS. SCOTT: NO, NO. WE DIDN'T MAKE THESE DRESSES. BORDISSO DID. A SUBSIDIARY OF JACKS COSMETICS, ISN'T IT? SCOTT: WELL, YEAH, BUT -- WILLIAM: AND LUCY COE IS NOT ONLY THE OWNER OF JACKS, BUT ALSO THE DESIGNER OF THE SERENA LINE, CORRECT? SCOTT: WE CONTRACTED BORDISSO TO MAKE THESE DRESSES. WILLIAM: MM-HMM. YOU MIGHT WANT TO WATCH THE 12:00 NEWS ON CHANNEL 3. ONE OF THEIR REPORTERS WAS AT THE PORT CHARLES HOTEL, TOO, AND SHE TAPED AN INTERVIEW WITH MR. BORDISSO BEFORE HE LEFT. SCOTT: WHERE'D HE GO? WILLIAM: I DON'T KNOW. BUT I HAVE ANOTHER QUESTION FOR YOU. THE SERENA LINE -- IS THAT NAMED AFTER YOUR DAUGHTER? SCOTT: OH, FORGET IT, WOLFSON. WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON BORDISSO, I WILL JUST SLICE HIM LIKE A PIECE OF FISH. JOE: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? KAREN: LOOKING FOR YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S RING. JOE: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LOST IT AT THE HOUSE. KAREN: FRANK CALLED. HE LOOKED ALL OVER T HOUSE. HE COULDN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE. HE EVEN HAD A PLUMBER COME AND TAKE THE DRAIN APART AND THE SINK -- NOTHING. SO I THOUGHT MAYBE -- JOE: YOU NEED SOME HELP? KAREN: PLEASE. JOE: YOU'RE A BASKET CASE. KAREN: YES, DEFINITELY. YOUR GRANDMOTHER HAD THAT RING FOR 40 YEARS. JOE: 50. KAREN: SHE GIVES IT TO HER GRANDSON TO GIVE TO HIS BRIDE, AND I HAVE IT FOR SIX MONTHS AND I LOSE IT. JOE: HEY, LISTEN TO ME -- YOU NEED TO RELAX, OK, BECAUSE HYPERVENTILATING ISN'T GOING TO BRING THAT RING BACK. KAREN: JOE, I SWEAR -- JOE: YOU'RE DRIVING YOURSELF CRAZY. KAREN: I HAVE TO FIND THAT RING. JOE: YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU COULD SEARCH THIS PLACE WITH A FINE-TOOTHED COMB, YOU COULD GET ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES AND CRAWL FROM HERE TO FRANK'S, SEARCHING EVERY SQUARE INCH OF SIDEWALK AND STREET ALONG THE WAY -- KAREN: IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES, THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO. JOE: BUT YOU MAY NOT FIND IT. AND IF YOU DON'T, YOU'RE GOING TO BE HARDER ON YOURSELF THAN ANYONE ELSE IS GOING TO BE. KAREN: WELL, THEN YOUR MOTHER WILL COME IN A CLOSE SECOND. JOE: YEAH, WELL, IT'S YOU I'M CONCERNED ABOUT. YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S A BUMMER, YEAH. BUT SELF-IMMOLATION IS NOT GOING TO HELP. KAREN: IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE KNOW ME SO WELL THAT I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF. JOE: YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT THAT MUCH DIFFERENT THAN YOU WERE WHEN YOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOU JOE: OH, REALLY? KAREN: OH, YEAH. JOE: YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME THAT WELL? KAREN: UH-HUH -- INSIDE AND OUT. JOE: ALL RIGHT, WHAT AM I THINKING RIGHT NOW? KAREN: YOU'RE THINKING THAT YOU'RE GOING TO MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH TO HELP THE WOMAN YOU LOVE FIND THAT RING. JOE: THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET CRACKING. KAREN: OK. COURTNEY: OH MY, OH MY, OH MY. WHERE COULD THAT RING BE? NO. NO, IT'S NOT UNDER THE TABLE. NO! NO, NOT UNDER THE COUCH CUSHIONS, EITHER. FRANK: I AM BEGINNING TO THINK THAT THEY WILL NEVER FIND THE RING IN THAT APARTMENT. COURTNEY: GOSH, YOU THINK? OOH. OH, LOOK, KAREN -- IT IS SO PRETTY AND SO SHINY, SO SPECIAL. HOW INCREDIBLY CARELESS OF YOU TO LOSE IT! FRANK: MOM HAD A COW WHEN SHE HEARD. COURTNEY: YEAH? WELL, IF I KNOW MARY, THAT'S JUST THE BEGINNING. FRANK: YEAH. COURTNEY: SHE IS NEVER, NEVER GOING TO FORGIVE HER. FRANK: LET ME GIVE YOU A LITTLE HINT, JOE -- LOOKING IN THE APARTMENT'S A LOST CAUSE. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND IT THERE. COURTNEY: YOU KNOW, MAYBE KAREN SHOULD TRY SOMEWHERE ELSE. FRANK: YOU MEAN SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE THE HOUSE? COURTNEY: YEAH, LIKE MAYBE THE DRIVEWAY OR MAYBE INSIDE SOMETHING THAT'S ON THE DRIVEWAY. FRANK: LIKE JOE THE CHOIR BOY'S CAR. COURTNEY: YEAH, YOU JUST KEEP ON LOOKING, KAREN. SOONER OR LATER, YOU'LL FIND YOUR SURPRISE. - I LIKE THIS ONE, MOM. - OH, I DO TOO. - THIS ONE'S BEAUTIFUL ! - OH, I CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING. I DON'T HAVE SHOES FOR THIS PRETTY HAT. YOU GONNA ARGUE WITH THAT ? [ Chuckles ] I'M GLAD THERE'S PAYLESS. GET DRESSED UP WITH THE PAYLESS EASTER SALE. OODLES OF GIRLS' AND BOYS' DRESS AND CASUALS NOW JUST $9.99. TA-DA ! [ Chuckling ] NOW, THAT I CAN ARGUE WITH. AQUAFRESH WHITENING IS DIFFERENT. ONLY AQUAFRESH HAS TRICLENE, PROVEN TO HELP RESTORE TEETH TO THEIR NATURAL WHITENESS. AQUAFRESH WHITENING WITH FLUORIDE. üüü HONEY ? [ Together ] SURPRISE ! HI, BABY. OH, HI, DADDY. [ Announcer ] THERE'S ORDINARY BEER. THEN THERE'S MICHELOB LIGHT. NEWS ANCHOR: THE SERENA LINE OF DRESSES, CREATED BY JACKS COSMETICS OWNER AND PORT CHARLES RESIDENT LUCY COE, HAS BEEN PROMOTED AS A WAY TO BRING ROMANCE INTO EVERY WOMAN'S LIFE. BUT TODAY, CHANNEL 3 NEWS LEARNED THAT THERE IS VERY LITTLE GLAMOUR FOR THE CHILDREN WHO MAKE THOSE DRESSES. LUCY: THIS IS SO AWFUL. NEWS ANCHOR: THE SERENA LINE IS PRODUCED IN INDONESIA BY CHILDREN, SOME AS YOUNG AS 8 YEARS OLD, IN WHAT HAS BEEN CHARACTERIZED AS SWEATSHOP CONDITIONS. SCOTT: WE DIDN'T DO THAT. BORDISSO DID. NEWS ANCHOR: IRONICALLY, THE LINE OF CLOTHING IS NAMED FOR THE 7-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER OF COMPANY SPOKESMAN SCOTT BALDWIN. SCOTT: YOU LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS. LUCY: OK, THAT'S IT. I'M NOT WATCHING ANY MORE. SCOTT: WAIT A SECOND. LET'S -- LUCY: WE'RE TURNING IT OFF! SCOTT: WAIT, LET'S HEAR THE REST OF THIS. NEWS ANCHOR: MR. BALDWIN CLAIMED THE MANUFACTURING HAD BEEN SUBCONTRACTED TO FASHION MAGNATE DAVID BORDISSO. WE CAUGHT UP WITH MR. BORDISSO, WHO HAD THIS TO SAY. D.V.: WHILE IT'S TRUE THAT I WAS APPROACHED BY LUCY COE AND SCOTT BALDWIN TO SEE IF I'D BE INTERESTING IN JOINING THEM IN THIS VENTURE -- SCOTT: YOU CAME TO US. D.V.: AFTER EXAMINING THE SITUATION, I HAD TO DECLINE. NEWS ANCHOR: WHY WAS THAT? D.V.: WELL, FIRST, THEY SEEMED EXTREMELY UNREALISTIC ABOUT THE BUSINESS. SECONDLY, AFTER LOOKING INTO THEIR BACKGROUNDS, I DISCOVERED THAT THEY'D HAD A NUMBER OF QUESTIONABLE BUSINESS DEALINGS IN THE PAST. LUCY: SOMEBODY NEEDS TO CUT HIS TONGUE OUT, AND I'M GOING TO DO IT. D.V.: AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I WAS SHOCKED TO DISCOVER THAT LUCY COE'S DESIGNS WERE ACTUALLY COPIES OF MY OWN LINE, THAT I'VE HAD IN THE WORKS FOR MONTHS. SCOTT: OH, YOU LYING -- D.V.: NOW, I KNOW THAT ALL TOO OFTEN PEOPLE IN MY BUSINESS CUT CORNERS AND EXPLOIT POOR WORKERS AND CHILDREN. I DON'T KNOW HOW PEOPLE LIKE THAT CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT. I MEAN, IF YOU'VE EVER SEEN ONE OF THOSE SWEATSHOPS -- IT'S HORRIFYING. LUCY: NOT AS HORRIFYING AS YOU. D.V.: BUT THE CONSUMER SHOULD KNOW THAT THEY HAVE A CHOICE. MY ROMANTIC LINE OF CLOTHES WILL BE OUT LATER THIS WEEK, AND I GUARANTEE THAT ANY DRESS THAT CARRIES THE BORDISSO LABEL IS MADE IN THE U.S.A., UNDER A UNION CONTRACT. LUCY: SCOTT, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO KILL HIM. I AM. JOE: ANY LUCK? KAREN: I'VE SEARCHED EVERY SHIRT, COAT, PANT POCKET. I HAVE NOTHING. JOE: WELL, I JUST SEARCHED THE ENTIRE KITCHEN, INCLUDING THE SUGAR BOWL. KAREN: OK, CHECK THE BATHROOM. JOE: I THOUGHT YOU ALREADY CHECKED THE BATHROOM. KAREN: I DID. BUT MAYBE IF YOU GO IN THERE WITH FRESH EYES, YOU'LL SEE SOMETHING THAT I MISSED. JOE: KAREN, LISTEN TO ME -- YOU KNOW, AT SOME POINT, WE'RE GOING TO GET INTO OVERKILL. KAREN: WE'RE NOT THERE YET. JOE: OK. KAREN: OK? JOE: OK. KAREN: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. GIVE ME YOUR CAR KEYS. GIVE ME YOUR CAR KEYS. JOE: WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOUR CAR? KAREN: NOTHING. WE TOOK YOUR CAR OVER THERE. MAYBE I DROPPED IT ON THE WAY OVER. JOE: WELL, YOU WANT ME TO LOOK? KAREN: NO. NO, YOU GOT TO DOUBLE-CHECK THE BATHROOM. JOE: RIGHT -- FRESH EYES. COURTNEY: YES, YES! FRANK: WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED? COURTNEY: JOE JUST GAVE KAREN HIS CAR KEYS! ü KAREN'S GOING TO FIND THE PANTIES KAREN'S GOING TO FIND THE PANTIES ü FRANK: OK, OK, OK, OK. ALL RIGHT, WHO AM I? WHO AM I? I WILL GO TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH TO FIND THAT RING FOR YOU, KAREN, SWEETHEART, BECAUSE I AM HERO JOE. CAN'T YOU TELL BY MY EARNESTNESS? COURTNEY: OH. OH, GOSH, JOE. BEING THE PERFECT PERSON THAT I AM, I USED TO THINK I WOULD GO TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH FOR YOU, TOO, BUT NOW I'M NOT SO SURE. FRANK: OH, BUT I AM EARNEST JOE. WHY IS THAT PRETTY LITTLE FACE ALL SCRUNCHED UP WHEN YOU HAVE ME? COURTNEY: WELL, I'M AFRAID YOU'VE AROUSED ALL MY OLD FEARS AND UNCERTAINTIES. FRANK: SWEETHEART, IF YOU'RE AROUSED -- COURTNEY: OH, NO, JOE. NO. THERE'S THIS LITTLE VOICE WHISPERING IN MY EAR. FRANK: AND WHAT IS IT WHISPERING? COURTNEY: "JOE ORDERS PORNO THROUGH THE MAIL. JOE CHATS WITH SEX KITTENS ON THE TELEPHONE. HE CAN'T BE TRUSTED." FRANK: PAY NO ATTENTION. COURTNEY: OH, I WOULD, I WOULD. BUT THERE'S ANOTHER VOICE. FRANK: AND WHAT DOES IT SAY? COURTNEY: "WHAT IN THE HELL ARE RED PANTIES DOING IN YOUR CAR?" FRANK: YOU GOT ME. UHH. MY HAT. SOMEDAYS YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR BREAKFAST. MY BOOKS. CARNATION INSTANT BREAKFAST IS PACKED TO GO. WITH VITAMINS AND MINERALS AND 99% FAT FREE. ...FROM NESTLE. IT'S A HEALTHY START. Man on P.A.: Stop by Aisle 5 for Clairol's Herbal Essences. It takes you where no shampoo has... GONE BEFORE. ( woman moaning and laughing ) WITH ALL NATURAL BOTANICALS AND ORGANIC HERBS IN PURE MOUNTAIN WATER. YES! IT WILL LEAVE YOUR HAIR LOOKING BEAUTIFUL. YES! YES! IF YOU THINK THAT'S GREAT... TRY THE BODY WASH. ( giggling ) Clairol's Herbal Essences. BUT I WASN'T GONE LONG. YOUR HUSBAND WAS RIGHT HERE ? I WENT TO CHECK THE TICKETS. - BINGO. - WHAT ? HAVE YOU CHECKED THE CHILI DOG EXPRESS ? OH, NO ! HOT DOGS GIVE JACK INDIGESTION AND HEARTBURN. NOT THIS TIME. WHAT IS IT ? LOOKS LIKE THE REMAINS OF A MINTY FRESH PEPCID AC CHEWABLE. CHEWABLE ? NOW THE FIRST CHEWABLE THAT STOPS HEARTBURN BEFORE IT STARTS. GREAT TASTING PEPCID AC CHEWABLES. JACK ? START LIVING HEARTBURN FREE... WITH NEW PEPCID AC CHEWABLES. I NEVER MET A DOG I DIDN'T LIKE, WHICH IS A GOOD THING, CONSIDERING SOME OF THE OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS MY FRIENDS PUT ME THROUGH. THIi IS MINE. THIS IS HERMAN. OOOH, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE ? MMM, A TICK. THAT'S WHY I CHOOSE FRONTLINE F'R THESE GUYS. FROgTLINE IS TH" BEST, BECAUiE IT'S THE ONLY ONE... THAT PROTEC*S THEf FROM FLEAS AND DISEASE-CAUiING TICKS, TOO. @SORRY I KEPT YOU WAITING. NO MATTER WHO YOUR BEST FRIEND HAPPENS TO BE. FOR FLEAS AND TICKS, VETERINARIANS CHOOSE: OKAY, NE MORE TIME. JOE: HEY, DID YOU FIND IT? KAREN: NO. BUT I FOUND SOMETHING ELSE. WHAT IS THIS? JOE: LOOKS LIKE A PAIR OF RED UNDERWEAR. KAREN: WHAT ARE THESE DOING IN YOUR CAR, JOE? JOE: I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE YOU TOOK THEM OFF -- KAREN: THESE AREN'T MINE. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING LIKE THAT. WHOSE ARE THEY? COURTNEY: KAREN JUST THREW THE PANTIES AT HIM. FRANK: OH, LET ME LOOK. LET ME -- COURTNEY: NO! NO. OH, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS ONE, JOE? JOE: I'VE NEVER SEEN THESE BEFORE. I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY GOT IN MY CAR. KAREN: YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THEY GOT IN YOUR CAR? JUST LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THE 900 NUMBERS GOT ON OUR PHONE BILL, HOW THAT SEX CATALOG CAME HERE ADDRESSED TO YOU? JOE: NO, I DON'T KNOW. AND IF YOU'RE ACCUSING ME OF MAKING THOSE PHONE CALLS AND ORDERING THAT CATALOG, THEN YOU ARE WAY OUT OF LINE. KAREN: THEN GIVE ME AN EXPLANATION. HELP ME UNDERSTAND THIS. WHAT'S GOING ON? JOE: I DON'T HAVE AN EXPLANATION! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! ALL I HAVE IS THE TRUTH. I DIDN'T DO IT. COURTNEY: DO YOU THINK SHE'LL HIT HIM? I MEAN, DOES KAREN HAVE IT IN HER? BECAUSE IT REALLY LOOKS LIKE SHE WANTS TO HIT HIM. FRANK: QUIT HOGGING THE TELESCOPE AND LET ME SEE. COURTNEY: HEY -- FINE. JOE: THIS IS CRAZY. I AM NOT SOME SEX-CRAZED WEASEL RUNNING AROUND ON YOU. KAREN: HOW DO I KNOW THAT? JOE: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT TO ME? KAREN: I'VE ALREADY HAD MY TURN BEING MARRIED TO SOME TWO-TIMER, AND IT WAS HELL, AND I WILL NOT DO IT AGAIN. JOE: OH, DAMN IT, KAREN, LOOK AT ME -- I AM NOT JAGGER. I HAVE NEVER LIED TO YOU, NOT ONCE. KAREN: THEN HOW DID THOSE PANTIES GET INTO YOUR CAR? JOE: I DON'T KNOW. SOMEBODY PUT THEM THERE. KAREN: WHAT'S HER NAME? JOE: I HAVE NO IDEA. KAREN, LOOK, WE NEED TO STOP AND WE NEED TO STOP THIS RIGHT NOW. SOMEBODY IS OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO SET ME UP. KAREN: WHO, JOE? WHO WOULD GOT TO SUCH LENGTHS TO SET YOU UP? JOE: I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE A PATIENT -- A PATIENT WITH A GRUDGE? KAREN: YEAH, MAYBE IT'S NEIL, AND HE'S JUST TRYING TO BRING YOU BACK HOME. FRANK: OH, I WISH WE HAD SOUND OR I KNEW HOW TO READ LIPS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT KAREN SAID, BUT JOE IS FURIOUS. COURTNEY: WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT FAMOUS JOE SCANLON TEMPER KICKED IN, HUH? FRANK: I THINK IT'S IN OVERDRIVE. OH. OH. COURTNEY: WHAT? WHAT? FRANK: JOE JUST THREW THE PANTIES AT HER AND STORMED OUT. COURTNEY: OH, WHAT A SHAME. AND THEY WERE SUCH A NICE YOUNG COUPLE, TOO. FRANK: MM-HMM. SCOTT: AND WHO WAS THAT? LUCY: IT WAS DON. NOT ONLY IS HE DEALING WITH TAKING ALL THE PHONE CALLS CANCELING THE ORDERS FOR THE DRESSES, HE'S ALSO RECEIVING ALL THE DRESSES THAT ARE BEING SHIPPED BACK. SCOTT: LUCY, COME HERE. SIT DOWN. WE'RE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS. LUCY: YEAH, RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? THIS IS NOT ABOUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL DRESSES BEING SENT BACK OR ABOUT ALL THE ORDERS THAT ARE BEING CANCELED OR ALL THE MONEY THAT WE'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE. THIS IS ABOUT ME AND MY REPUTATION. YOU KNOW AND I KNOW THAT I HAVE A QUESTIONABLE PAST, BUT I HAVE WORKED SO DARN HARD TO BUILD UP JACKS COSMETICS, BRING IT BACK, MAKE IT A REPUTABLE COMPANY. AND NOW WHAT IS IT? EVERYBODY OUT IN THIS WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD THINK THAT I EXPLOIT CHILDREN. SCOTT: NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. WE'RE GOING TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT. LUCY: HOW? YOU CAN'T DO THAT. YOU CAN'T JUST UNRING A BELL THAT HAS BEEN RUNG. THERE ARE PEOPLE, YES, THAT WE CAN PROVE OUR INNOCENCE TO, BUT THERE ARE GOING TO BE A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE -- THEY'RE GOING TO BELIEVE THE ORIGINAL IDEA, AND THEY'RE NEVER GOING TO LET IT GO OR FORGET IT. SCOTT: YES. I GOT THE PROOF. LUCY: WHAT? SCOTT: BORDISSO, HAT IN HAND, THE DAY HE CAME OVER HERE AND WANTED US TO MAKE HIM A PARTNER. LUCY: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHERE DID YOU GET THAT? SCOTT: YOU KNOW, WHEN ALL THE "GENERAL HOMICIDE" MURDERS WERE GOING ON, I BEEFED UP MY SECURITY. I PUT A CAMERA IN HERE, AND I HAD IT ON THAT DAY BECAUSE I DIDN'T TRUST HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE. LUCY: OH. OH, SCOTT, YOU ARE -- YOU'RE AMAZING. OK, THEN WE HAVE TO MAKE THOUSANDS COPIES OF IT. AND WE'LL SEND IT TO ALL THE MAGAZINES, NEWSPAPERS, AND TV STATIONS, AND THEN PEOPLE WILL KNOW THE TRUTH. SCOTT: HE'S GOING TO BE SORRY THAT HE SCREWED AROUND WITH US. LUCY: YEAH. [STATIC and MUFFLED VOICES] LUCY: HEY, I -- I CAN'T QUITE HEAR IT. TURN IT UP. SCOTT: IT'S FULL VOLUME. LUCY: WELL, THEN WHAT'S THE MATTER? SCOTT: I DON'T KNOW. MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE SOUND. LUCY: WELL, CAN YOU FIX IT? SCOTT: WELL, NOT IF IT'S ON THE TAPE. LUCY: SCOTT, YOU HAVE TO. I MEAN, IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT WE JUST SEE THE THREE OF US MEETING. HE ADMITTED THAT HE MET WITH US, BUT WE HAVE TO HEAR THE SOUND. WE HAVE TO HEAR THAT HE ASKED US TO GO INTO BUSINESS WITH HIM. OTHERWISE THAT TAPE IS WORTHLESS.