Pc mar 20 1999 KAREN: I'M GOING TO LOOK TERRIBLE FOR LUCY'S INFOMERCIAL. I HAVE CIRCLES UNDER MY EYES. JOE: YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. KAREN: PLEASE. I DIDN'T GET A WINK OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT. JOE: YEAH, WELL, STAYING UP ALL NIGHT WORRYING ABOUT MY GRANDMOTHER'S RING ISN'T GOING TO BRING IT BACK. KAREN, ANYONE CAN LOSE SOMETHING. KAREN: YEAH, BUT A FAMILY HEIRLOOM, AN ENGAGEMENT RING? DO YOU THINK THAT YOUR MOM HAS A PICTURE OF IT? MAYBE I CAN GET A COPY MADE. JOE: IT'S A GOOD IDEA, BUT I DOUBT MY MOM WOULD GO FOR THAT. KAREN: HEY, JOE, YOU NEED ANY EDIBLE PANTIES? THEY'RE ON SALE. JOE: WHAT IS THAT? KAREN: IT'S ADDRESSED TO YOU. JOE: WELL, HOW DID I GET ON THEIR LIST? I DON'T BUY ANY OF THIS JUNK. [VICTOR SPEAKS FRENCH] KEVIN: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING? VICTOR: MY FRENCH LEGIONNAIRE'S UNIFORM. I HAD THE CAPPY, OF COURSE. KEVIN: OF COURSE. VICTOR: BUT I HAD TO RENT THE REST. I WANT TO SURPRISE LUCY. SHE'S MAKING HER NEW INFOMERCIAL THIS MORNING. ELLEN. COME IN, COME IN. ELLEN: MY, AREN'T YOU LOOKING -- VICTOR: FRENCH LEGIONNAIRISH? ELLEN: THAT'S IT. VICTOR: I'D LOVE TO STAY AND CHAT, BUT IT'S NEARLY SHOWTIME. A BIENTOT, MES AMI. KEVIN: AU REVOIR! ELLEN: WOW. HAS HE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS? KEVIN: ALWAYS. I ONLY HOPE I CAN HANDLE HIM AS OLD AGE SETS IN -- MINE, NOT HIS. HE'S EXHAUSTING. ELLEN: JUST WHEN YOU HAVE THE PLACE TO YOURSELF, I STOP BY IN NEED OF A GOOD LISTENER. KEVIN: THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR. SCOTT: YEAH, ALL RIGHT. FINE, WE'LL SEE YOU THERE. SERENA: LUCY, GUESS WHAT. LUCY: WELL, HEY. WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? DON'T TELL ME -- PLAYING HOOKY. SERENA: NO. THERE'S NO SCHOOL TODAY. IT'S TEACHERS CONFERENCE, SO GUESS WHAT. LUCY: WHAT? TELL ME. SERENA: DADDY SAYS I CAN GO TO THE STUDIO AND WATCH YOU MAKE THE INFOMERCIAL. LUCY: YES! OH, THAT'S GREAT. WELL, OF COURSE YOU SHOULD BE THERE. I MEAN, AFTER ALL, I NAMED THE WHOLE LINE AFTER YOU. SERENA: I'LL GO GET MY COAT. LUCY: OK, GREAT. SCOTT: YOU DON'T MIND? LUCY: NO. NO, NO, NO. ARE YOU KIDDING? COME ON, SERENA IS MY GOOD LUCK CHARM. SCOTT: WELL, YOU MAY NEED A GOOD LUCK CHARM. LUCY: WHY IS THAT? SCOTT: WELL, BORDISSO CALLED. HE'S GOING TO THE SHOOT. LUCY: NO. NO, HE'S NOT. YOU CALL HIM BACK AND SAY HE'S NOT ALLOWED. SCOTT: NO, HE HAS TO. LUCY: NO, SCOTT, I AM NOT GOING TO STAND AROUND AND PLAY NICE WITH THE GUY WHO SABOTAGED US. SCOTT: NO, LUCY, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO UNTIL WE HAVE OUR FACTORY UP AND RUNNING. WE NEED HIS HELP TO GET THESE DRESSES OUT. LUCY: SO YOU JUST WANT ME TO STARE INTO THAT FACE OF THAT UNSCRUPULOUS, MANIPULATIVE, LYING, CONNIVING, POINTY-NOSED -- SCOTT: YES. YES. AND IMAGINE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE REALIZES THAT WE JUST OUTFOXED HIM. [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY NCI'S CORPORATE PARTNERS] LUCY: D.V.! PUT THE GUN AWAY. STOP PLAYING AROUND. HI. HOW VERY NICE TO SEE YOU. D.V.: WELL, WELL, WHAT A WARM WELCOME. I TAKE IT THEN YOU'RE HAPPY WITH THE RAPID DELIVERY OF THE DRESSES. LUCY: OH, HAPPY? "HAPPY" IS NOT QUITE THE WORD. SCOTT: YEAH, WELL, WE'VE HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE GETTING THE LINE STARTED THERE, WE WERE BEGINNING NOT TO TRUST ANYONE. D.V.: REALLY? SCOTT: YEAH. D.V.: HOW AWFUL. LUCY: OH, THE SET -- I WOULD REALLY LIKE FOR YOU TO TAKE A LOOK AT OUR SET HERE, PLEASE. D.V.: HMM. MY, I'D SWEAR I WAS IN ALGERIA. LUCY: WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY -- THE OTHER DAY YOU MENTIONED THAT COUNTRY, AND IT JUST SET MY MIND TO WORKING AND I CAME UP WITH THIS GREAT IDEA ABOUT THE FRENCH-ALGERIAN WAR BEING THE BACKDROP FOR OUR NEXT ROMANTIC LOVE STORY. D.V.: THAT'S WHAT THE INFOMERCIAL IS ABOUT? LUCY: YES, IT CERTAINLY IS. IT'S ABOUT A FRENCH SOLDIER AND A BEAUTIFUL ALGERIAN WOMAN WHO MEET AND FALL IN LOVE, BUT THEY HAVE TO HIDE THEIR FEELINGS. HOW DOES THAT STRIKE YOU? AS A RATHER POOR CHOICE. LUCY: I BEG YOUR PARDON? D.V.: WELL, YOU UNDERSTAND. SOLDIERS MAKE YOU THINK OF GUNS AND MAYHEM, NOT ROMANCE. SCOTT: WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST? D.V.: MAKE YOUR HERO AN ADVENTURER, PERHAPS A PHOTOJOURNALIST. LUCY: OH, WELL, IT'S REALLY TOO LATE NOW, YOU KNOW. D.V.: A CAMERA STRAPPED OVER HIS SHOULDER, THE STAIN OF HYPO CLEARING AGENT UNDER HIS NAILS, A DREAM OF A PULITZER PRIZE IN HIS HEART -- A MAN WITH NO INTENTION OF FALLING IN LOVE UNTIL A STRANGER CHANGES HIS LIFE, A WOMAN WHO WOULD BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANY PRIZE HE COULD EVER WIN. LUCY: WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT IS ONE WAY GO. BUT I'VE ALREADY WRITTEN A PERFECTLY GOOD SCRIPT. IT'S GREAT. SCOTT: I LIKE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, BUT YOU SHOULD'VE SPOKE UP SOONER. DAMN. WE ALREADY HAVE A SCRIPT. D.V.: LET THE ACTORS IMPROVISE. SCOTT: OH, NEVER LET ACTORS IMPROVISE. THEY'LL JUST TRY AND STEAL THE SCENE FROM EACH OTHER. D.V.: WELL, I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU SELL DRESSES. SCOTT: WELL, THANKS. HEY, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LOOK AT THE SCRIPT. THE STAGE MANAGER HAS IT OVER THERE. SEE WHAT YOU THINK. LUCY: I HATE HIM. SCOTT: DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID? LUCY: YES. HE COMPLETELY TRASHED MY WHOLE INFOMERCIAL IDEA. SCOTT: NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE PART ABOUT THE PHOTOJOURNALIST. LUCY: OH, SO YOU LIKED THE IDEA, TOO. SCOTT: NO, I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. I THINK HE WAS A PHOTOGRAPHER DURING THE WAR. LUCY: THAT'S CERTAINLY A LONG SHOT, THOUGH. SCOTT: SOMETIMES, LONG SHOTS PAY OFF. KAREN: HEY, LOOK AT YOU. JOE: OK. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK? KAREN: OH, WOW. I AM IN LOVE. SERENA: WE ALREADY KNEW THAT. FRANK: WHOA, IF IT ISN'T BEAU GESTE. HERE'S YOUR PAGER. JOE: THANKS. I'M SORRY TO MAKE YOU RUN OVER HERE WITH IT. I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT IT AT THE HOSPITAL. FRANK: YEAH, WELL, YOU'D BETTER LET SERENA HOLD IT WHILE YOU'RE TAPING. I DON'T THINK LEGIONNAIRES WORE BEEPERS. KAREN: YEAH. AND, SERENA, ACTUALLY, WILL YOU GO IN THE NEXT ROOM AND GET MY DRESS READY FOR ME? I'LL BE IN THERE IN A SECOND. SERENA: OK. KAREN: OK. [DOOR CLOSES] KAREN: I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU FOUND MY ENGAGEMENT RING. FRANK: NO. I TURNED THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN LOOKING FOR IT. KAREN: OK. WELL, THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP. FRANK: YEAH. LOOK, I'LL HAVE A PLUMBER COME OVER AND CHECK OUT THE DRAINPIPES. MAYBE IT'LL SHOW UP. KAREN: YEAH. MAYBE. FRANK: SHE'S TAKING IT PRETTY HARD. JOE: SHE'S BARELY EVEN SLEEPING. FRANK: THAT'S A SHAME. OH, WELL, I'LL LET YOU REHEARSE OR WHATEVER. JOE: FRANK, HAVE YOU BEEN GETTING ANY STRANGE MAIL AT THE HOUSE? FRANK: LIKE WHAT? JOE: LIKE SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIAL. FRANK: PORNO? JOE: YEAH, LIKE CATALOGS OR MAGAZINES? FRANK: WELL, NOT THAT I KNOW OF. WHY, YOU GETTING SOME KINKY IDEAS NOW THAT WEDLOCK APPROACHES? JOE: NO, KAREN GOT A BUNCH OF STUFF ADDRESSED TO ME IN THE MAIL THIS MORNING. FRANK: YOU'RE KIDDING. JOE: I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT I'M NOT ON SOME KIND OF MAILING LIST AND I'M GOING TO BE INUNDATED WITH JUNK MAIL AT MY OLD ADDRESS AS WELL AS MY NEW. AND PLUS I WANT TO MAKE SURE NEIL DOESN'T SEE ANY OF THAT GARBAGE. FRANK: WELL, I'LL KEEP MY EYE OUT. IF ANYTHING EVEN THE LEAST BIT SUGGESTIVE SHOWS UP, I'LL MAKE SURE I GET TO IT FIRST. I ME, DO IT. JOE: THANKS, FRANK. VICTOR: "HALF A LEAGUE, HALF A LEAGUE, HALF A LEAGUE ONWARD, INTO THE VALLEY OF DEATH RODE THE 600." ü ALLONS ENFANTS DE LA PATRIE ü LUCY: VICTOR, VICTOR? WENZEL? WENZEL? TAKE THIS. THANK YOU. VICTOR, I LOVE THIS. I LOVE YOUR READING. IT'S JUST THAT WE ARE TRYING TO SELL DRESSES WITH ROMANCE, NOT TAKING US INTO THE VALLEY OF THE DEATH. VICTOR: OH, I UNDERSTAND. I -- LUCY: BUT -- BUT -- OH, OH, HAVE I GOT A VERY SPECIAL, LITTLE, BUT VERY VITAL PART FOR YOU. VICTOR: OH, WELL, THANK GOODNESS. I'M A QUICK STUDY. WHERE DO YOU WANT ME? LUCY: OK, I WANT YOU -- IN MAKEUP. VICTOR: MAKEUP? LUCY: MAKEUP. MAKEUP. VICTOR: MAKEUP. KEVIN: A MAN THAT YOU KNEW FOR ONE DAY YEARS AGO COMES ALL THE WAY TO PORT CHARLES JUST TO FIND YOU AGAIN? ELLEN: THANKS TO LUCY'S INFOMERCIAL. YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO ADMIT IT IS FLATTERING THAT SEBASTIAN WOULD COME ALL THIS WAY. EXCEPT -- KEVIN: EXCEPT WHAT? ELLEN: I AM VERY HAPPY WITH MATT. KEVIN: SO TELL SEBASTIAN ADIOS. ELLEN: TURNS OUT HE'S SICK AND HE PROBABLY DOESN'T HAVE MUCH TIME. KEVIN: OH. SO WHAT LITTLE TIME HE HAS LEFT HE WANTS TO SPEND GETTING TO KNOW YOU BETTER. ELLEN: MM-HMM. KEVIN: NO WONDER YOU'RE FLATTERED. HOW DOES MATT FEEL ABOUT IT? ELLEN: HE UNDERSTANDS WHY I CAN'T TELL SEBASTIAN TO LEAVE. KEVIN: SO YOU'RE STUCK BETWEEN A DYING MAN WHO WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU AND AN UNDERSTANDING MAN WHO'D RATHER YOU DIDN'T. ELLEN: OH, YES. THAT'S IT IN 25 WORDS OR LESS. BEFORE I KNEW SEBASTIAN WAS SICK, I TRIED TO TELL HIM TO LEAVE ME ALONE. BUT I DON'T THINK I WAS VERY CONVINCING. I MEAN, THE TRUTH IS THERE IS SOME KIND OF CONNECTION BETWEEN US. AND WHATEVER CHEMISTRY BROUGHT US TOGETHER YEARS AGO IS STILL THERE. I NEVER MET A DOG I DIDN'T LIKE, WHICH IS A GOOD THING, CONSIDERING SOME OF THE OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS MY FRIENDS PUT ME THROUGH. THIS IS MINE. THIS IS HERMAN. OOOH, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE ? MMM, A TICK. THAT'S WHY I CHOOSE FRONTLINE FOR THESE GUYS. FRONTLINE IS THE BEST, BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY ONE... THAT PROTECTS THEM FROM FLEAS AND DISEASE-CAUSING TICKS, TOO. SORRY I KEPT YOU WAITING. NO MATTER WHO YOUR BEST FRIEND HAPPENS TO BE. FOR FLEAS AND TICKS, VETERINARIANS CHOOSE: OKAY, ONE MORE TIME. ü YOU'RE WHY I BAKE ü ü A DUNCAN HINES CAKE ü YOU DON'T NEED A SPECIAL OCCASION TO BAKE A CAKE... AS MOIST AS DUNCAN HINES. JUST A SPECIAL PERSON. ü YOU'RE WHY I BAKE ü ü A DUNCAN HINES CAKE ü ü YOU'RE WHY I BAKE üü üü [ "Someone's In The Kitchen With Dinah" ] [ Scanner Beeps ] [ Scanner Beeps ] HUNDREDS OF NEW 99¢ HALLMARKS NOW AT DISCOUNT STORES. SUFFERING FROM ALLERGIES.*. IS NEVER TO START. THIS IS NASALCROM. YOU HEARD RIGHT. IT'S ALLERGY PREVENTION. NASALCROM DOESN'T JUST RELIEVE ALLERGIES. IT FLAT OUT PREVENTS THEM... PREVENTING THE NATURAL DEFENSES IN YOUR NOSE FROM GOING HAYWIRE... SO YOU CAN LIVE LIKE A PERSON WITH NO ALLERGIES. NASALCROM'S LIKE NOTHING ELSE... NO DROWSINESS, NO JITTERS, NO REBOUND CONGESTION. NASALCROM. THE BEST WAY TO STOP SUFFERING... IS NEVER TO START. ELLEN: I HAVE A PERFECTLY HAPPY, WONDERFUL, LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH MATT. I HAVE A GREAT CAREER. I'M A HAPPY WOMAN. SO WHY AM I EVEN DISCUSSING THIS STRANGER THIS WAY? KEVIN: WELL, I DON'T KNOW. WHY ARE YOU? ELLEN: MAYBE BECAUSE I FIND SEBASTIAN SO CAPTIVATING. HE'S THE KIND OF PERSON WHO'LL GO ANYWHERE, HE'LL DO ANYTHING. KEVIN: SPONTANEITY IS A SEDUCTIVE QUALITY. ELLEN: YEAH. ESPECIALLY TO A TOW-THE-LINE WORKER BEE LIKE ME. I MUST CONFESS THAT IT HAS BEEN FUN FANTASIZING ABOUT THROWING CAUTION TO THE WIND FOR A DIME-NOVEL ROMANCE. KEVIN: BUT FANTASIES LIKE THAT ARE HARMLESS. UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU'RE ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT ACTING ON IT. ELLEN? SCOTT: ALL RIGHT, HUH? YOU HAVE THE BEST SEAT IN THE HOUSE. VICTOR: WHAT DO YOU THINK, SCOTT? WHAT DO YOU THINK, HUH? A BRAINSTORM. SCOTT: OH, VICTOR, WHAT DO YOU GOT TO MONKEY AROUND FOR? IT'S ALL COCKAMAMIE. VICTOR: WELL, I DON'T HAVE ANY LIGHT IN MY DRESSING ROOM -- PROBABLY BECAUSE IT'S THE BROOM CLOSET. SERENA: COME WITH ME. WE'LL MAKE SOME MINOR ADJUSTMENTS. VICTOR: OVER HERE? SERENA: UH-HUH. D.V.: WELL, WITH THIS INFOMERCIAL HITTING THE AIR, WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET STARTED ON PRODUCTION OF THE SECOND DRESS. DO YOU KNOW WHEN LUCY'S GOING TO GIVE ME THE DESIGN? SCOTT: WELL, YEAH, YEAH, SHE -- SOON. SHE JUST WANTS TO MAKE SOME MINOR ADJUSTMENTS. D.V.: MINOR ADJUSTMENTS? SCOTT: THE NECKLINE. SHE DOESN'T LIKE THE NECKLINE. D.V.: THE NECKLINE. SCOTT: THE NECKLINE. LUCY: OK. GENTLEMEN, DON'T YOU THINK JOE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY DREAMY? SCOTT: HE LOOKS AUTHENTIC. FRANK: SIR JOSEPH PARNELL, IN PERSON. JOE: COME ON, KNOCK IT OFF. YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO GIVE ME STAGE FRIGHT. FRANK: DOCTORS HAVE EGOS THE SIZE OF TEXAS. YOU'LL BE FINE. LUCY: UH, ON THAT NOTE, WE'VE GOT A SHOW TO PUT ON. LET'S GO. DIRECTOR: EVERYONE IN PLACE. VICTOR: HOW DO I LOOK? SERENA: YOU LOOK GREAT. VICTOR: WISH ME, YOU KNOW -- SERENA: BREAK A LEG. VICTOR: MERCI, DEAR. WENZEL: RAIN, GO. LIGHTS, GO. DIRECTOR: IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO -- LUCY: TODAY, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE THE SECOND DRESS IN MY LINE, A DRESS SO ROMANTIC, IT IS SURE TO TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY, AS WILL THE STORY THAT INSPIRED ITS CREATION. IT'S A STORY OF STAR-CROSSED LOVERS -- A FRENCH SOLDIER AND A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN WHO MET AND FELL IN LOVE WHILE THEIR COUNTRIES BATTLED ONE ANOTHER. D.V.: THE NEXT THING SHE'LL BE SAYING, "IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT." [THUNDER] LUCY: IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT IN 1959. THE FRENCH SOLDIER HAD JUST GOTTEN WORD THAT HIS TROOPS PLANNED TO INVADE THE VILLAGE OF HIS ONE TRUE LOVE. HE SECRETLY WENT TO WARN HER. SEEING HER STANDING THERE IN THE SOFT GLOW OF THE FIREPLACE, HE COULD SCARCELY BELIEVE THAT HER GENTLE BEAUTY EXISTED. LUCY: HE EXPLAINED THE REASON FOR HIS VISIT -- THAT FRENCH TROOPS WOULD BE INVADING THE COUNTRYSIDE IN A FEW HOURS AND THAT SHE MUST FLEE AT ONCE. LUCY: KNOWING THEY ONLY HAD A SHORT TIME TOGETHER, THEY WRAPPED THEMSELVES IN A PASSIONATE EMBRACE. THIS WOULD BE THEIR LAST NIGHT TOGETHER. OH...OOH. WOMEN LOVE SHAMPOOING WITH CLAIROL'S HERBAL ESSENCES. ( moaning... ) REVELING IN ITS ALL-NATURAL BOTANICALS. ( moaning... ) LUXURIATING IN THE ORGANIC HERBS AND PURE MOUNTAIN WATER. AND THE ECSTASY OF WHAT IT DOES TO THEIR HAIR. YES, YES... YES! BUT WE'D ALSO LIKE TO REMIND YOU... YES! ...MEN LIKE IT, TOO. AND WAIT UNTIL YOU TRY HERBAL ESSENCES STYLING LINE. - [ Children Chattering ] - [ School Bell Ringing ] - [ Woman ] DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT TEETH ARE MADE OF ? - [ Child ] IVORY ? - [ Child #2 ] ROCKS ? - [ Woman ] TELL ME THINGS WE SHOULD EAT. - APPLES. - JUICE. - MILK. [ Woman ] HOW SHOULD WE TAKE CARE OF OUR TEETH ? - [ CHILD #1 ] BRUSH 'EM. - [ Child #2 ] OUR TONGUE GET ALL RED. - [ Child #3 ] 'CAUSE OF THE TABLETS. - [ Child #4 ] CHEWED 'EM UP, - SPIT IT OUT. - CHECKED IN A MIRROR TO SEE WHERE WE DIDN'T BRUSH GOOD. [ Woman ] EDUCATION AND LEARNING HAS TO BE FUN, AND I FEEL THE CREST PROGRAM DOES THAT. ü THIS IS THE WAY WE BRUSH OUR TEETH WE DO IT EVERY DAY üü IT'S ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY. ü I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE ü ONE OF THOSE DAYS YOU NEVER WANT TO LOSE TO SEASONAL ALLERGIES. ü AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD ü TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT CLARITIN. JUST ONE CLARITIN TABLET DAILY... BRINGS YOU 24 HOURS OF NON-DROWSY RELIEF... FROM SEASONAL ALLERGY SYMPTOMS. CLARITIN HAS A LOW OCCURRENCE OF SIDE EFFECTS, SUCH AS HEADACHE, DROWSINESS, FATIGUE AND DRY MOUTH. ü I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE ü DON'T LOSE A SINGLE DAY. TAKE CLEAR CONTROL. TAKE CLARITIN. ü AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD, HEY üü ELLEN: HAVING THESE THOUGHTS ABOUT SEBASTIAN MAKE ME FEEL UNFAITHFUL TO MATT. KEVIN: BUT THAT'S A PREMATURE GUILT COMPLEX. YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO HURT MATT. ELLEN: BUT IF HE KNEW ABOUT MY FANTASIES, HE WOULD BE HURT. KEVIN: BUT THERE ISN'T A PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO DOESN'T HAVE FANTASIES ABOUT SOMETHING OR SOMEONE. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE IN ANY REAL DANGER HERE, ELLEN. ELLEN: NO? ALL I HAVE TO DO IS SAY THE WORD AND SEBASTIAN WILL WHISK ME AWAY. KEVIN: WELL, THEN IT'S A GOOD THING FOR YOU YOU'RE THE LEAST WHISKABLE PERSON I'VE EVER MET. IT TOOK YOU NEARLY A YEAR TO EVEN CONSIDER A RELATIONSHIP WITH MATT. ELLEN: BUT, YOU SEE, THAT'S WHAT I DON'T GET. THAT'S WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I AM SO DELIBERATE. BUT WHEN I'M AROUND SEBASTIAN, I -- I JUST WANT TO FLY AWAY. VICTOR: HERE YOU ARE. OH, THANK YOU. OH, DID YOU SEE IT? WAS I -- WAS I OMINOUS ENOUGH? SERENA: WERE YOU IN THE INFOMERCIAL? VICTOR: WAS I IN THE -- WELL, I -- I WAS A SOLIDER, THE SOLDIER WHO CROSSED BEHIND THE WINDOWS AND HAD THE GUN. WAS I OMINOUS ENOUGH? SERENA: I DON'T KNOW WHAT "OMINOUS" MEANS, BUT YOU LOOKED COOL. VICTOR: "COOL." "COOL." COOL IS GOOD. LOTS OF THINGS WORSE THAN COOL. SERENA: DADDY, THIS WAS FUN. SCOTT: REALLY? YOU DON'T THINK IT WAS TOO MUSHY? SERENA: NO, NOT AT ALL. IN FACT, I THINK THE NEXT ONE SHOULD BE ABOUT A WEDDING, AND LUCY COULD BE THE BRIDE AND YOU COULD BE -- SCOTT: NEVER MIND ABOUT THAT. SERENA: BUT, DADDY, YOU TWO ARE THE MOST ROMANTIC COUPLE IN THE WHOLE WORLD. SCOTT: WELL, YES, AND THANK YOU, BUT THAT'S WHY THERE'S NO REASON TO GO RUSHING INTO MARRIAGE. SERENA: I THOUGHT IF YOU LOVED SOMEBODY WITH ALL YOUR HEART, GETTING MARRIED WAS GOOD. SCOTT: SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES. SERENA: DON'T YOU LOVE LUCY WITH ALL YOUR HEART? LUCY: NO, YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB. I PROMISE I'M NOT MAD, REALLY. SCOTT: YES, I DO, AND I GET CRAZIER ABOUT HER EVERY DAY. LET'S GO GET A DOUGHNUT. SERENA: OK, LET'S GO. LUCY: JUST TRY TO PICK UP, AND MARK DOWN THAT ONE CUE. D.V.: BRAVA. BRAVISSIMA. WONDERFUL WORK. LUCY: MM-HMM. WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU WERE ACTUALLY THE INSPIRATION. D.V.: OH, NO. LISTEN, I THINK THIS INFOMERCIAL MAY BRING IN MORE ORDERS THAN THE LAST. I'D REALLY LIKE TO GET GOING ON THE NEXT DRESS ASAP. LUCY: OH. WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M THIS CLOSE -- THIS CLOSE TO GETTING IT FINISHED. D.V.: WELL, IT LOOKS PERFECT TO ME. WHAT'S WRONG? LUCY: OH, THE, UH -- WAISTLINE. THE WAISTLINE. IT NEEDS A SLIGHT MODIFICATION. D.V.: THE WAISTLINE? LUCY: YEAH, RIGHT. D.V.: WHAT ABOUT THE NECKLINE? LUCY: THE NECK-- I LOVE -- I MEAN, COME ON. YOU DIDN'T LOVE THE NECKLINE? NO, NO, IT'S DEFINITELY THAT WAISTLINE. D.V.: I SEE. WELL, WHEN YOU'RE READY TO FORGE AHEAD, LET ME KNOW. LUCY: OF COURSE. TA. KAREN: HOW DO YOU THINK WE DID? JOE: I THINK YOU WERE GREAT. KAREN: IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. I WAS NERVOUS. LUCY: HEY, YOU TWO, YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS. I AM TELLING YOU, I LAUGHED, I CRIED, AND I SAW BIG, FAT, BEAUTIFUL DOLLAR SIGNS! KAREN: WELL, YOU MADE AT LEAST ONE SALE BECAUSE I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HAVE THIS DRESS. LUCY: OH, NO WAY. YOU ARE NOT SPENDING ONE RED CENT ON THAT DRESS. THAT DRESS YOU HAVE ON IS YOURS. KAREN: NO. ARE YOU SERIOUS? LUCY: YES, YES. KAREN: THANK YOU SO MUCH, LUCY. LUCY: OH, NO, THANK YOU -- BOTH OF YOU. YOU WERE WONDERFUL. I GOT TO GO. TA. JOE: BYE. KAREN: WHOO. JOE: WELL, SINCE -- SINCE YOU GET TO KEEP THE DRESS -- KAREN: MM-HMM? JOE: WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO HOME AND RE-ENACT THE INFOMERCIAL? KAREN: OOH. JOE: MON PETIT. KAREN: MAIS OUI. D.V.: NO, NO. I'D RATHER NOT GIVE MY NAME. JUST SAY THAT THIS IS AN ANONYMOUS TIP FROM A CONCERNED CITIZEN. AS BUSINESS EDITOR OF YOUR NEWSPAPER, I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THE CREATORS OF THE SERENA LINE HAVE BEEN EMPLOYING CHILDREN IN SOUTHEAST ASIA TO MANUFACTURE THEIR DRESSES AT POVERTY-LEVEL WAGES.