pc mar 18 1999 COURTNEY: HI. PARTY STARTED YET? FRANK: NO, WE'RE STILL SETTING UP. WHAT HAPPENED WITH RAMSEY? COURTNEY: OH, WELL, I GOT VERY DEWY-EYED AND CONFIDED IN HIM THAT THE KANELOSES HAD MADE A DEAL WITH ME. INSTEAD OF INHERITING PART OF JOHN'S ESTATE, THEY PAID ME A LUMP SUM UNDER THE TABLE. IT WAS EITHER THAT OR, YOU KNOW, SPEND YEARS FIGHTING THEM IN COURT. FRANK: SOUNDS PLAUSIBLE. COURTNEY: AND THEN I TOLD HIM I HAD THIS PROBLEM -- YOU SEE, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THAT CASH WITHOUT IT SHOWING UP ON MY RECORD SOMEWHERE. AND, WELL, WHAT I REALLY NEEDED WAS A WAY TO LAUNDER THE MONEY. FRANK: IS HE GOING TO HELP YOU? COURTNEY: HE'S THINKING ABOUT IT. I COULD SEE THE WHEELS TURNING. FRANK: IF WE CAN GET HIM INVOLVED IN SOME ILLEGAL INVESTING, WE'LL BE ABLE TO NAIL THAT SUCKER TO THE WALL. JOE: WELL, DOESN'T SOMEBODY LOOK SHARP. KAREN: WHOO! NEIL: I LOOK LIKE A NERD. BUT GRANDMA MARY LIKES THIS SUIT, SO I WORE IT. [DOORBELL RINGS] NEIL: I'LL GET IT. SERENA: HI, NEIL. HEY, COOL SUIT. SCOTT: HEY. LUCY: OH, YOU DO LOOK AWFULLY HANDSOME. HI. KAREN: HI, GUYS. JOE: HI. YOU SEE? I TOLD YOU IT WAS A BABE MAGNET. SERENA: THIS IS FOR MARY AND VICTOR. WHERE SHOULD I PUT IT? KAREN: I WILL TAKE THAT. LUCY: OH, THAT'S GREAT. LISTEN, I HOPE NOBODY LET THEM IN ON THE SURPRISE, RIGHT? KAREN: NO, NOT THAT I KNOW OF. THEY THINK THEY'RE COMING OVER FOR ST. PATRICK'S DAY DINNER. LUCY: THAT'S GREAT. I'M SO EXCITED FOR VICTOR AND MARY. SCOTT: WELL, WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT THAT OLD KOOK WOULD GET SO LUCKY LATER ON IN LIFE? LUCY: HE IS NOT AN OLD KOOK, OK? AND YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF. I'VE NEVER SEEN VICTOR HAPPIER THAN WHEN HE'S WITH MARY. SCOTT: OK, OK. MARY: HI. I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT, VICTOR. VICTOR: WHAT? MARY: I'M NOT GOING TO PLAY AN ACCORDION DUET BEFORE THE ST. PATRICK'S DAY DINNER. I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO PLAY IN FRONT OF A GROUP YET. I SOUND LIKE A DYING COW. IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF, BE MY GUEST, BUT KEEP ME OUT OF IT. VICTOR: IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK OF ME? I'M A FOOL? MARY: OF COURSE NOT. VICTOR: THAT'S WHAT YOU JUST SAID. MARY: OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES, VICTOR. VICTOR: YEAH, YOU SAID THAT JUST NOW. MARY: I DIDN'T MEAN -- VICTOR: WELL, IF YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT. MARY: WHY DON'T WE JUST FORGET THE WHOLE THING AND GO TO DINNER. VICTOR: I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR DINNER. MARY: WHAT? VICTOR: MAYBE YOU'D BETTER GO ON WITHOUT ME. MARY: VICTOR -- WHAT -- [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY NCI'S CORPORATE PARTNERS] [IRISH MUSIC PLAYS] [DOORBELL RINGS] CHRIS: WELL, IF IT ISN'T MY FAVORITE BUSBOY. FRANK: WELL, IF IT ISN'T MY LEAST FAVORITE BACK-STABBING, DRUG-PEDDLING DOCTOR. CHRIS: HOW'S IT GOING, FRANK? YOU STAYING OFF THE AMPHETAMINES? COURTNEY: HI. CHRIS: HI. COURTNEY: YOU MADE IT. THAT'S GREAT. CHRIS: LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE HAPPY COUPLE. COURTNEY: OH, THAT'S VERY CUTE. THANK YOU. VICTOR AND MARY SHOULD BE HERE SOON. THEY'RE COMING WITH EVE AND KEVIN. CHRIS: EVE AND KEVIN? THEY'RE COMING? COURTNEY: MM-HMM. WHY? CHRIS: WELL, I NOTICED THAT LUCY AND SCOTT WERE HERE. KAREN: HEY, YOU GUYS LOOK HAPPY. HOW'S BUSINESS? LUCY: WELL, WE CAN SAY IT'S GOOD BECAUSE WE'RE FINALLY GOING TO GET OUR FIRST SHIPMENT OF DRESSES OUT. SCOTT: FINALLY. LUCY: YES. AND GUESS WHAT. I'M ALMOST DONE WITH MY SECOND DESIGN. KAREN: OOH. I WANT TO SEE IT. SCOTT: WELL, THEN, WHY DON'T YOU COME DOWN AND WATCH US SHOOT? KAREN: OH, YOU'RE DOING ANOTHER INFOMERCIAL. SCOTT: YES. LUCY: WELL, YEAH, WE NEED TO. WE GOT TO DO IT. YOU KNOW, NEW DRESS, NEW INFOMERCIAL. JOE: WHEN ARE YOU GUYS SHOOTING IT? SCOTT: WELL -- LUCY: WELL, THAT'S SORT OF A PROBLEM. I'M HAVING A REAL HARD TIME FINDING THE RIGHT ACTORS FOR THE PARTS. YOU KNOW, YOU TWO ARE AN AWFULLY DARN CUTE COUPLE. KAREN: AW. THANK YOU. SCOTT: YOU'RE THINKING WHAT I THINK YOU MIGHT BE THINKING HERE? LUCY: I THINK YOU'RE THINKING RIGHT THAT I'M THINKING WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, AND I'M THINKING THEY'RE PERFECT. KAREN: WHAT? FOR WHAT? LUCY: FOR OUR INFOMERCIAL. KAREN: OH. JOE: OH, NO, WAIT A SECOND. LUCY: OH, COME ON. IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN. AND THIS ONE HAS EVERYTHING THIS TIME. IT HAS INTRIGUE AND ROMANCE. YOU GET TO DRESS UP -- BEAUTIFUL, MYSTERIOUS -- KAREN: NO. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ACTING. JOE: I'D RATHER STICK WITH SOMETHING SIMPLE LIKE BRAIN SURGERY. LUCY: THAT'S GREAT. BUT THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT. DON'T YOU SEE? THERE'S NO ACTING. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO KNOW ANY LINES. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE YOURSELVES. YOU JUST HAVE TO PRETEND YOU'RE IN LOVE, WHICH WOULD BE VERY EASY FOR THE TWO OF YOU. YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND. JOE: FORGET IT. SCOTT: ALL RIGHT, JOE, LISTEN. LET ME FLY THIS PAST YOU. FRENCH-ALGERIAN WAR. YOU GET TO PLAY A SOLDIER. YOU KNOW, YOU GOT A GUN. YOU SHOOT. YOU KNOW, YOU THROW HAND GRENADES. JOE: OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, NOW THAT YOU PUT IT THAT WAY, WHERE DO I SIGN? SCOTT: OK, RIGHT HERE. LUCY: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. STOP. BE SERIOUS. NOW, THINK ABOUT THIS. I THINK IT WOULD BE VERY SPECIAL FOR YOU TO BE IN THE INFOMERCIAL BECAUSE EVERYBODY CAN SEE HOW IN LOVE THE TWO OF YOU REALLY ARE. KEVIN: VICTOR, WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED? YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR THE PARTY. VICTOR: I'M -- I'M NOT GOING TO THE PARTY. KEVIN: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU'RE NOT GOING? WHERE'S MARY? VICTOR: I PRESUME SHE'S ON HER WAY TO FRANK'S HOUSE. EVE: OH, WHAT HAPPENED? VICTOR: MARY AND I HAD AN ARGUMENT. KEVIN: OVER WHAT? VICTOR: WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT SHE -- I'M AN EMBARRASSMENT TO HER BECAUSE SHE THINKS I'M AN OLD FOOL. EVE: OH, COME ON. MARY ADORES YOU. KEVIN: WHAT ABOUT THE ENGAGEMENT? VICTOR: WELL, MAYBE I'M JUST NOT THE MARRYING TYPE. EVE: THAT'S MY CUE. I HAVE TO GO REARRANGE MY SOCK DRAWER WHILE YOU AND YOUR DAD TALK. KEVIN: OK. VICTOR, WHAT'S GOING ON? VICTOR: WHAT'S GOING ON HERE IS THAT WE HAD AN ARGUMENT. COUPLES HAVE ARGUMENTS. YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, SHOULD KNOW THAT. KEVIN: BUT "MAYBE I'M NOT THE MARRYING TYPE"? THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE YOU. VICTOR: I BEG YOUR PARDON. THAT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE ME. WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT HAVING A HAPPY MARRIAGE? KEVIN: OH, I SEE. DOES THIS HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR FEAR OF MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES WITH MARY THAT YOU MADE WITH MOTHER? VICTOR: MONK, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW IRRITATING IT CAN BE TO HAVE A SON WHO'S A PSYCHIATRIST? KEVIN: PROBABLY ON A PAR WITH HAVING A FATHER WHO PLAYS THE ACCORDION. VICTOR, YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MARY IS NOTHING LIKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MOTHER. VICTOR: MONK, DO YOU KNOW WHAT FREUD SAID? KEVIN: WHAT? VICTOR: HE SAID, "SOMETIMES A CIGAR IS JUST A CIGAR." AND SOMETIMES AN ARGUMENT IS JUST AN ARGUMENT. GOOD NIGHT. KEVIN: VICTOR. SERENA: I SEE SOMETHING! NEIL: IT'S THEM! IT'S GRANDMA'S CAR! JOE: I'LL GET THE LIGHTS. KAREN: EVERYBODY HIDE. NEIL: COME ON! JOE: SHH. BE VERY QUIET. QUIET. ALL: SURPRISE! MARY: OH. OH, MY GOODNESS. LUCY: WHERE'S VICTOR? MARY: HE ISN'T COMING. KAREN: WHAT? IT'S A SPRING BLOWOUT AT SEARS. TAKE 20% OFF FASHION FOR YOU AND YOUR HOME, EVEN ON TOP OF SALE PRICES. TAKE 10% OFF APPLIANCES AND MORE, AND THAT'S ON TOP OF SALE PRICES TOO. SALE ENDS SATURDAY. ONCE IT BLOWS THROUGH, IT'S GONE. IT'S ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY. ü I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE ü ONE OF THOSE DAYS YOU NEVER WANT TO LOSE TO SEASONAL ALLERGIES. ü AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD ü TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT CLARITIN. JUST ONE CLARITIN TABLET DAILY... BRINGS YOU 24 HOURS OF NON-DROWSY RELIEF... FROM SEASONAL ALLERGY SYMPTOMS. CLARITIN HAS A LOW OCCURRENCE OF SIDE EFFECTS, SUCH AS HEADACHE, DROWSINESS, FATIGUE AND DRY MOUTH. ü I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE ü DON'T LOSE A SINGLE DAY. TAKE CLEAR CONTROL. TAKE CLARITIN. ü AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD, HEY üü ü YOU CHOOSE A FRIEND FOR THE FAMILY ü ü THANK YOU, MOM YOU'RE SO SUPER TO ME ü ü MOMS LIKE YOU CHOOSE JIF CHOOSE JIF ü CREAMY JIF HAS MORE PEANUT TASTE THAN ANY OTHER LEADING CREAMY BRAND. WE HOT-ROAST ONLY THE BEST PEANUTS... FOR THAT GOLDEN COLOR... AND RICH AROMA-- THE PEANUTTIEST TASTE OF ALL. ü WHEN THE CHOICE IS RIGHT WE ALL SLEEP TIGHT ü ü MOMS LIKE YOU CHOOSE JIF ü ü CHOOSE JIF üü KEVIN: THERE YOU ARE. HOW'S THE SOCK DRAWER? EVE: PRETTIEST SOCK DRAWER I HAVE EVER SEEN. IS VICTOR CHANGING? KEVIN: NO. EVE: WHAT'S GOING ON? KEVIN: WELL, I ASKED HIM IF HE WAS AFRAID IF HE WAS MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES WITH MARY THAT HE MADE WITH MY MOTHER, AND HE LEFT THE ROOM. EVE: UH-HUH. SOUNDS LIKE YOU HIT A NERVE. KEVIN: YEAH. EVE: WHY DON'T YOU GO AFTER HIM. KEVIN: I DON'T THINK HE WANTS TO TALK TO HIS SON THE PSYCHIATRIST. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST TELL HIM THAT TONIGHT IS A SURPRISE ENGAGEMENT PARTY. EVE: OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. NO, WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE. BEFORE YOU GO TO SUCH DRASTIC MEASURES, HOW ABOUT I TRY AND TALK TO HIM AND MAYBE GET HIM TO CHANGE HIS MIND? KEVIN: YOU'RE WELCOME TO TRY. I SURE HATE TO SEE HIM LIKE THIS. MARY: VICTOR HAD AN EMERGENCY. BUT THAT'S NO REASON TO CANCEL THE PARTY. IT IS ST. PATRICK'S DAY, AFTER ALL. FRANK: THAT'S RIGHT. MOM, LARK WANTED TO BE HERE, BUT E HAD TO WORK. BUT SHE ASKED ME TO GIVE YOU HER LOVE. MARY: OH, THAT'S SO THOUGHTFUL. LUCY: OH, HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? GIFTS. WE HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU AND VICTOR TOGETHER AS A COUPLE, BUT I HAVE SOMETHING I HOPE YOU LIKE. THIS IS THE ORIGINAL DRESS FROM MY SERENA LINE, AND IT'S FOR YOUR TROUSSEAU. MARY: OH, HOW SWEET. THANK YOU. LUCY: YOU'RE WELCOME. MARY: HERE IT IS ST. PATRICK'S DAY, AND NOBODY'S EVEN OFFERED ME AN IRISH COFFEE. JOE: OH, LET ME GET YOU ONE, MOM. MARY: OH, NO. THAT'S OK, DEAR. I'LL GET IT MYSELF. I KNOW WHERE IT IS. EXCUSE ME. JOE: DOES SHE SEEM OK TO YOU? FRANK: SHE'S PROBABLY JUST DISAPPOINTED BECAUSE VICTOR COULDN'T COME. VICTOR: MONK SAID YOU WANTED TO SPEAK TO ME. EVE: YES, I DO. VICTOR: WELL, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT GOING TO THE PARTY. EVE: THEN I WON'T WASTE MY BREATH. BECAUSE THERE'S ONE THING I UNDERSTAND, IT'S STUBBORN. I AM ABOUT AS STUBBORN AS THEY COME. ALL RIGHT, WELL, I USED TO BE. ANYWAY, I KNOW YOU WON'T LISTEN TO ME. BUT EVEN IF YOU DO LISTEN, I KNOW YOU WON'T ALLOW YOURSELF TO CONSIDER WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, AND THAT'S A REAL SHAME BECAUSE I HAD THIS BEAUTIFUL SPEECH PLANNED. I WAS GOING TO START BY SAYING SOMETHING LIKE I REALIZE THAT YOU'VE HAD A TOUGH PAST. MINE'S BEEN NOTHING TO WRITE HOME ABOUT, EITHER. SO I UNDERSTAND YOUR RELUCTANCE TO LET OTHERS IN. I'LL TELL YOU, I WAS NEVER, EVER GOING TO LET ANYONE IN -- EVER. I WAS JUST GOING TO PUT THE BLINDERS ON AND CONCENTRATE ON MY CAREER -- SOLELY ON MY CAREER. THAT WAY I WOULDN'T GET HURT. BUT, VICTOR, IF I HAD FOLLOWED THAT PLAN, I NEVER WOULD HAVE MET SCOTT OR KEVIN OR YOU. VICTOR: YOU KNOW, FOR SOMEBODY WHO DOESN'T WANT TO WASTE BREATH, YOU CAN CERTAINLY EXPEND A LOT OF OXYGEN. EVE: I MEAN EVERY WORD FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. VICTOR: I WAS LOOKING FOR A SHAMROCK TIE I PACKED AWAY YEARS AGO, AND I -- I CAME UP WITH THESE. EVE: THEY'RE LOVELY. VICTOR: MY FIRST WIFE, MELANIE, MONK'S MOTHER, GAVE THEM TO ME ON OUR THIRD WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. ISN'T IT AMAZING HOW SMALL A THING, A LITTLE CUFFLINK, CAN BRING BACK SO MANY MEMORIES FROM SO FAR AWAY AND MAKE THEM SEEM AS RECENT AS YESTERDAY? EVE: YEAH. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'VE BEEN SUCKER PUNCHED. VICTOR: THEN MARY CAME IN, AND SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANT TO PLAY A DUET AT THE PARTY. SHE SAID IT MADE HER FEEL LIKE A FOOL AND IF I WANTED TO BE A FOOL THAT WAS UP TO ME. AND SHE DIDN'T SAY IT WITH ANGER. SHE -- BUT WHEN SHE SAID IT, I HEARD SO VIVIDLY MELANIE'S CALLING ME A FOOL. AND THEN LATER, WHEN I FOUND OUT WHAT SHE HAD DONE TO RYAN, KNOWING THAT I HAD BEEN A FOOL -- EVE: VICTOR, WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOUR FIRST WIFE WAS TERRIBLE AND IT WAS TRAGIC, BUT YOU ARE NOT A FOOL. VICTOR: IF ONLY BECAUSE I WASN'T THERE, I AM RESPONSIBLE. I ALREADY LIVE WITH THAT. IF I WERE TO LET MARY DOWN -- EVE: VICTOR, LISTEN TO ME. THE ONLY WAY YOU ARE GOING TO LET MARY DOWN IS IF YOU DO NOT LET HER SEE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER. [IRISH MUSIC PLAYS] LUCY: MARY? MARY: OH. YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHERE FRANK KEEPS THE WHISKEY. WELL, YOU CAN'T HAVE IRISH COFFEE WITHOUT WHISKEY, CAN YOU? LUCY: HEY, LISTEN, WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON WITH VICTOR. MARY: I WISH I KNEW. LUCY: UH-OH. OK. WHAT HAPPENED? MARY: I'M AFRAID VICTOR'S HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT MARRYING ME. LUCY: OH. OH, NO. DID HE ACTUALLY SAY THAT TO YOU? MARY: NO, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO THINK. WE HAD THIS LITTLE DISAGREEMENT OVER NOTHING, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE GETS ANGRY AND SAYS HE'S NOT COMING HERE TONIGHT. LOOK AT THIS. LUCY: YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT DOESN'T REALLY SOUND LIKE VICTOR. DO YOU KNOW IF HE'S STILL TAKING HIS MEDICATION? MARY: OH, YES. YES, I KNOW HE DOES. IT'S A RITUAL WITH HIM. BUT WHILE WE WERE TALKING, HE THOUGHT I CALLED HIM A FOOL -- AND I DIDN'T. IT WAS JUST A FIGURE OF SPEECH. BUT I THINK HE THOUGHT I WAS REFERRING TO HIS CONDITION. I JUST FEEL SO TERRIBLE. SCOTT: SO, LOVEBIRDS, DID YOU GIVE ANY THOUGHT TO LETTING ME FOOT THE BILL FOR THE WEDDING? KAREN: OH, WELL, WE DID A LOT OF SOUL-SEARCHING -- JOE: AND LONG CONVERSATIONS INTO THE NIGHT -- KAREN: YEAH. JOE: AND WE REALIZED WE'D BE PRETTY MUCH CRAZY TO NOT LET YOU PAY. SCOTT: WELL, IT'S GOOD TO SEE THAT YOU'RE BOTH SANE. KAREN: SERIOUSLY, IT'S SUCH A GENEROUS OFFER. THANK YOU. SCOTT: WELL, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE A PART OF YOUR LIFE. KAREN: ALWAYS. LUCY: HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. MARY: I KNOW. LUCY: I PROMISE. YOU'LL SEE. BECAUSE YOU AND VICTOR -- MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. MARY: OH, THANK YOU, LUCY. JOE: MOM? FRANK: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? MARY: VICTOR WAS NOT REALLY CALLED AWAY ON AN EMERGENCY. TONIGHT WE -- [ACCORDION PLAYS "WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SMILING"] SCOTT: WHAT THE HECK IS THAT? WHEN I BITE INTO A YORK PEPPERMINT PATTIE, I GET THE SENSATION THAT I'M RIDING ON A CHAIR LIFT IN THE SWISS ALPS... THE CRISP AIR RUSHING BY ME ON MY WAY TO THE SNOWY PEAKS! YORK PEPPERMINT PATTIE. GET THE SENSATION. JOHNSON'S BABY SHAMPOO MOISTURIZING FORMULA BUT IT MAKES MY HAIR FEEL BABY SOFT. IT MOISTURIZES WHILE GENTLY CLEANSING, SO THE ENTIRE FAMILY'S USING IT. JOHNSON'S BABY SHAMPOO MOISTURIZING FORMULA. I'M THE BABY ! ggs???????ÑÑ 1-800-CONTACTS-- EXACT SAME CONTACT LENSES... DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR... FOR LESS THAN YOU'RE PAYING NOW. CALL: M A KID.A PICKY KID. YOU'RE SAYING "BIG DEAL, ALL KIDS ARE." YEAH, BUT I'M A LEGEND. I WON'T EAT ANYTHING GREEN, FISHY, MUSHY, SPICY, RECTANGULAR, OR RED. NOW MY MOM'S GONNA TRY RICE-A-RONI. HA! I'M GONNA SIT HERE 'TIL I TURN EIGHTEEN. WELL, MAYBE JUST ONE BITE. DINNER DOESN'T HAVE TO BE DRAMATIC WITH RICE-A-RONI. KIDS LIKE IT AND THAT'S SOMETHING YOU'LL REALLY LIKE. AND NOW TRY HERB ROASTED CHICKEN FLAVOR AND PASTA RONI GARLIC ALFREDO. < MARY: VICTOR. THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. VICTOR: WELL, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN. IT WAS A RECORDING. PARDON ME. EVE: OH -- SORRY, SORRY, SORRY. MARY: A RECORDING? OH. VICTOR: I CAN'T PLAY THAT WELL. YOU THINK I'M GOING TO TORTURE THESE PEOPLE WITH MY PLAYING? I SOUND LIKE A -- LIKE A DYING COW. MARY: OH, YOU DO NOT. YOU SOUND WONDERFUL. VICTOR, I AM SO SORRY ABOUT WHAT I SAID EARLIER. I DIDN'T MEAN IT THE WAY -- VICTOR: NO, NO, NO. YOU DON'T OWE ME AN APOLOGY. I OWE YOU AN EXPLANATION. MARY: NO. VICTOR: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, AND I'M SO WORRIED THAT SOMEHOW I WILL END UP DISAPPOINTING YOU. MARY: HOW COULD YOU -- I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER IN MY WHOLE LIFE. NO. NO, I'M WORRIED THAT I WON'T LIVE UP TO YOU. VICTOR: OH, MARY. MARY: VICTOR, I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE AS A NURSE IN PORT CHARLES. YOU -- YOU HAVE BEEN EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD. VICTOR: THEN THIS IS A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE CENTERED, MORE CONTENT TO BE SOMEPLACE THAN I AM HERE WITH YOU. MARY: OH, VICTOR. KEVIN: MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE UP PSYCHIATRY. EVE: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO HIM THAT YOU DIDN'T SAY. KEVIN: WELL, YOU SURE GOT THROUGH TO HIM IN A WAY THAT I COULDN'T. EVE: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU'RE A TEENAGER AND YOU CAN'T STAND YOUR PARENTS TELLING YOU HOW TO DO EVERYTHING? KEVIN: OH, TOO WELL. EVE: OK. WELL, I THINK THE SAME GOES FOR WHEN YOU GET OLDER AND THE KIDS START LECTURING THE PARENTS. I THINK HE JUST NEEDED TO HEAR IT FROM SOMEONE ELSE. KEVIN: WELL, I OWE YOU. EVE: WELL, I KNOW JUST HOW I WANT TO COLLECT. SCOTT: SERENA'S DOING A SLEEPOVER WITH NEIL, RIGHT? LUCY: RIGHT. SCOTT: SO YOU'RE DOING A SLEEPOVER WITH ME. FRANK: HOW ARE JOE AND KAREN DOING? COURTNEY: DISGUSTINGLY HAPPY. FRANK: WHY DON'T WE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT. COURTNEY: LIKE WHAT? FRANK: YOU GO SUCK FACE WITH RAMSEY. I'LL MAKE SURE LITTLE BROTHER SEES IT. COURTNEY: OH. YOU ARE A WICKED MAN, FRANK. EVE: OH, MARY, THAT DRESS IS GOING TO BE BEAUTIFUL ON YOU. KEVIN: IT'S EXQUISITE. MARY: OH, THANK YOU. VICTOR: DID LUCY MAKE THIS BY HAND? MARY: OH, HEAVENS NO. VICTOR: WELL, THAT MEANS SHE STRAIGHTENED OUT HER PRODUCTION PROBLEMS? MARY: SHE DID SAY SHE'S IN BUSINESS WITH SOMEONE. WHAT WAS HIS NAME? I THINK I HEARD IT BEFORE. BORDISSO? BORDISSO? EVE: DAVID BORDISSO? MARY: THAT'S IT. SCOTT: I'M GOING TO GET SOMETHING TO DRINK. EVE: I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. EVE: SCOTT. SCOTT: HEY, EVE. SODA? EVE: NO, THANKS. LISTEN, I JUST HEARD THAT YOU AND LUCY ARE IN BUSINESS WITH D.V. BORDISSO. SCOTT: THAT'S RIGHT. EVE: I TOLD YOU HE IS RUTHLESS. SCOTT: I KNOW, AND I NEVER DOUBTED YOU. EVE, COME ON. YOU KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW THERE ARE NO FLIES ON ME. I KNOW HOW HE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOU, AND HE'S TRYING TO DO THAT TO LUCY, BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. THANKS TO YOUR WARNING, LUCY AND I ARE IN THE CATBIRD SEAT. COURTNEY: HI. CHRIS: HEY. I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOU WOULD GET YOUR SWEET LITTLE SELF BACK HERE. COURTNEY: OH, I'M SORRY. I WAS BUSY PLAYING CO-HOSTESS. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU? CHRIS: HMM. THAT'S A TOUGH ONE. COURTNEY: WELL, I HAVE A SUGGESTION. FRANK: SOMEONE SHOULD THROW COLD WATER ON THOSE TWO. JOE: I HATE TO SEE COURTNEY CARRYING ON THAT WAY WITH CHRIS. KAREN: WELL, I MEAN, IT'S A BIT MUCH, BUT I'M NOT SURPRISED. I MEAN, THEY'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER. FRANK: I DON'T EVEN SEE WHAT SHE SEES IN HIM. JOE: ME, NEITHER. KEVIN: WELL, I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST. TO MARY AND VICTOR, AN INSPIRATION TO US ALL IN LIFE AND IN LOVE. KAREN: OH, THAT'S SWEET. VICTOR: THANK YOU. I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST. TO MY BEAUTIFUL BRIDE-TO-BE. AND TO ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO ARE AS WE ARE -- SO LUCKY IN LOVE. KEVIN: HEAR, HEAR.