pc mar 15 1999

 SCOTT: OK, WE GOT TO GO.
WE'RE MEETING KAREN
IN FIVE MINUTES.
 SERENA: CAN I HAVE WHIPPED
CREAM ON MY WAFFLES?
 SCOTT: YOU KNOW, I'D BE
SURPRISED IF YOU ASKED ME ONE
DAY FOR SOMETHING HEALTHY.
 SERENA: I THOUGHT YOU SAID
WHIPPED CREAM HAS CALCIUM.
 SCOTT: SO DOES BROCCOLI.
 SERENA: BROCCOLI
WITH WAFFLES?
YUCK.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
 SCOTT: HMM.
WHO'S THAT?
HEY, LUCY.
 LUCY: HEY, YOU.
OH, GOOD MORNING,
LITTLE SUNBEAM.
ISN'T IT A BEAUTIFUL,
BEAUTIFUL DAY?
 SERENA: UH-HUH.
WE'RE MEETING KAREN FOR WAFFLES.
 LUCY: OH, SHOOT.
I WOULD LOVE TO COME ALONG,
BUT I CAN'T.
I NEED TO DO THIS RESEARCH
FOR THE INFOMERCIAL.
YOU KNOW, BIG STUFF.
I GOT TO SEE, THOUGH,
IF YOUR DADDY LIKES MY IDEA.
DO YOU JUST HAVE A TEENY,
TINY SECOND?
 SCOTT: WELL, MAKE IT SNAPPY.
 LUCY: OK.
YOU KNOW BORDISSO TOLD US ABOUT
HIS WAR-TORN ROMANCE IN ALGERIA,
RIGHT?
 SCOTT: RIGHT.
 LUCY: OK.
PICTURE THIS --
THE 1950s, THE 1960s --
YOU KNOW, WAR-TORN ALGERIA,
THE FRENCH-ALGERIAN WAR.
TWO LOVERS -- BOMBS BURSTING
BEHIND THEM, BLASTING
IN THE AIR.
THE COLORS, THE SMELLS.
DO YOU LOVE IT?
 SCOTT: YEAH.
THEN ONE LOVER SAYS, "TAKE ME
TO THE CASBAH."
 LUCY: WHY DO I DO THIS?
WHY DO I EVEN RUN THIS STUFF
BY YOU AT ALL?
 SCOTT: BECAUSE I'M
AN IDEA MAN, ALWAYS HAVE,
ALWAYS WILL BE.
AND THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.
 LUCY: OH, GOOD.
SO YOU LIKE IT? OK.
I'M GOING TO RUN WITH IT.
GO.
OK. TELL KAREN HI, OK?
OK. TA!
HAVE FUN!
 SERENA: OK, BYE!
 LUCY: BYE!
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
 VICTOR: HELLO?
 LUCY: HELLO.
AM I SPEAKING TO THE WORLD'S
FOREMOST
ENCYCLOPEDIA-BRAINED GUY?
 VICTOR: IF THAT'S WHAT
YOU NEED ME TO BE, LUCY,
THEN, "AARDVARK" TO "ZYGOTE,"
I'M YOUR MAN.
 LUCY: ALL RIGHT.
DO YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT THE FRENCH-ALGERIAN WAR?
 VICTOR: JE CROIS BIEN.
I CAN GIVE YOU LOTS
OF INFORMATION, MOST OF IT
OBTAINED FIRSTHAND.
 LUCY: OH, DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE
AN ABSOLUTE GEM?
I LOVE YOU MADLY, AND I WANT
TO MARRY YOU.
 VICTOR: ALAS, I AM ALREADY
SPOKEN FOR.
BUT HURRY ON OVER, ANYWAY.
WE'LL HAVE THE PLACE
TO OURSELVES.
WE CAN BROWSE THROUGH
MY JOURNALS.
 LUCY: THAT IS SO SUPER.
I'M ALREADY IN THE CAR.
 VICTOR: I -- I THOUGHT
YOU TWO HAD LEFT FOR THE DAY.
 KEVIN: MY CAR WON'T START.
 VICTOR: SO YOU'RE GOING TO BE
HERE?
AT HOME? NOW?
 FRANK: THE PROSPECT
OF SENDING RAMSEY DOWN IN FLAMES
IS A LOT MORE INTERESTING TO ME
THAN WATCHING KAREN
AND MY BROTHER PLAY OZZIE
AND HARRIET ALL NIGHT.
 COURTNEY: WELL, NOW THAT
CHRIS IS BUYING MY INHERITANCE
STORY, IT'S TIME TO MOVE
TO PHASE TWO.
ONE LOOK AT HIS CONTRACT
WITH LANCE, AND WE'LL KNOW WHERE
ALL THE BODIES ARE BURIED.
WE'VE GOT CHRIS EXACTLY WHERE
WE WANT HIM.
 COURTNEY: COME ON.
COME ON.
GOD!
COME ON.
 CHRIS: HEY, COURTNEY.
YOU NEED SOME HELP?
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
NCI'S CORPORATE PARTNERS]
 COURTNEY: CHRIS RAMSEY.
YOU ARE A VERY NAUGHTY BOY.
 CHRIS: WELL, I TRY TO BE.
WHAT'D I DO THIS TIME?
 COURTNEY: WELL, FIRST
YOU MAKE A WANTON WOMAN
OUT OF ME.
AND THEN YOU GO AND YOU RUIN
MY SURPRISE.
 CHRIS: REALLY?
AND WHAT MIGHT THAT BE?
 COURTNEY: I CAME OUT HERE
TO MAKE YOU BREAKFAST IN BED.
 CHRIS: OH, NOW ISN'T THAT
SWEET,
BUT SAD.
 COURTNEY: WHY ARE YOU SAD?
 CHRIS: WELL, YOU SEE, I HATE
TO ENDORSE STEREOTYPES,
SWEETHEART, BUT YOU'RE GIVING
BLONDS A BAD NAME.
SEE, THAT NOT'S AN OVEN.
THAT'S CALLED A FILING CABINET.
 COURTNEY: OH, WELL,
THANK YOU, HANDSOME,
BRILLIANT DOCTOR.
NOW, IF YOU WOULD JUST GET
YOUR GORGEOUS BOD OVER HERE
AND LEND ME A LITTLE MUSCLE.
I'M TRYING TO MOVE THIS THING.
 CHRIS: YOU KNOW,
NO OFFENSE, BUT I DON'T THINK
WE KNOW EACH OTHER WELL ENOUGH
FOR YOU TO BE REARRANGING
MY FURNITURE NOW.
 COURTNEY: OH, WATCH IT.
YOUR EGO IS SHOWING.
I'M NOT TRYING TO MOVE
IN ON YOU.
I TOOK OFF MY RING TO COOK,
AND IT ROLLED BEHIND THE CABINET
HERE.
 CHRIS: OH.
 COURTNEY: AND I WAS TRYING
TO MOVE IT ALL BY MYSELF,
BUT BEING BLOND AND ALL,
I COULDN'T QUITE MANAGE.
 CHRIS: STEP ASIDE.
 CHRIS: FOUND IT.
 COURTNEY: OH, GOOD. GOOD.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
NOW, YOU SCOOT OFF TO BED
AND ACT SURPRISED WHEN I BRING
YOU BREAKFAST, OK?
 CHRIS: YES, MA'AM.
 COURTNEY: ALL RIGHTY.
 VICTOR: WELL, WHAT A PITY
YOUR CAR WON'T START.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE EVE'S?
 EVE: NO, WE CAN'T
BECAUSE HIS CAR IS BEHIND MINE.
 VICTOR: TAKE MINE. HERE.
HAVE A GOOD DAY.
 KEVIN: BUT --
 VICTOR: I'LL GET THE BATTERY
CHARGED.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
 KEVIN: WELL, ALL RIGHT.
THANKS.
 VICTOR: HERE, EVE.
 KEVIN: WAIT A MINUTE.
DON'T YOU NEED YOUR CAR TO GET
TO YOUR BIRDWATCHER'S MEETING?
 VICTOR: CANCELED.
 KEVIN: THERE'S NO BIRDS
TO WATCH?
 VICTOR: AU CONTRAIRE.
A PILEATED WOODPECKER WAS
SIGHTED IN THIS VERY
NEIGHBORHOOD, ALONG WITH A GOOD
MANY MEMBERS OF THE CLUB TOTING
THEIR TRUSTY BINOCULARS.
 EVE: HMM.
WELL, WE HOPE THAT YOU'RE
THE FIRST TO CATCH A GLIMPSE.
 VICTOR: WELL, IF I'D GET
A LITTLE PEACE AND QUIET AROUND
HERE, I JUST MIGHT.
 KEVIN: OK, FINE. FINE, FINE.
WE CAN TAKE A HINT.
 EVE: YEAH.
 KEVIN: LET'S GO.
 MATT: I HOPE THIS IS STRONG.
 FRANK: BREWED IT MYSELF.
IT'LL KEEP YOU AWAKE FOR DAYS.
 ELLEN: THANKS.
 MATT: I FEEL SO ALL ALONE.
SEBASTIAN ISN'T HERE.
 ELLEN: HE WON'T BE
BOTHERING US.
HE'S BUSY SETTLING INTO
HIS NEW JOB.
 MATT: DID HE TELL YOU WHO
HE'S WORKING FOR?
 ELLEN: SOME PHARMACEUTICAL
COMPANY.
 MATT: LANCE PHARMACEUTICAL
RING A BELL?
 ELLEN: YOU'RE KIDDING.
 MATT: NO.
AND HE GAVE ME THESE YESTERDAY
TO FILL OUT.
HERE, THERE'S ONE FOR YOU.
CUSTOMER SATISFACTION SURVEYS
FOR HIS COMPANY.
BOY, THEY'RE GOING TO GET
AN EARFUL.
 ELLEN: WELL, WHAT ARE
YOU WRITING?
 MATT: LANCE IS PLANNING
TO MARKET A VARIATION OF DL-56.
WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M WRITING?
 KAREN: SO WHEN DO YOU THINK
WE SHOULD GET MARRIED?
AFTERNOON OR EVENING?
 JOE: SUNRISE.
YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE THE MOST
AMAZING GLOW IN THE MORNING.
 KAREN: MMM.
OUR GUESTS CAN WEAR
THEIR JAMMIES.
 JOE: WE CAN SERVE COFFEE
AND MUFFINS.
 KAREN: YOU'RE JUST TRYING
TO GET OFF EASY.
 JOE: LOOK, KAREN, IF WE HAVE
THIS WEDDING AT NIGHT, WE WILL
HAVE TO PAY FOR A FULL DINNER,
YOU KNOW.
 KAREN: WEDDINGS CAN BE
EXPENSIVE, BUT WE CAN WORK
WITHIN OUR BUDGET.
 JOE: AS LONG AS WE GET
TO THE POINT WHERE WE SAY,
"I DO."
 SERENA: I WANT TO BE THERE
WHEN THAT HAPPENS.
 KAREN: HEY, YOU, CUTIE.
YOU BETCHA.
IN FACT, AS SOON AS WE BOOK
A DATE, I'M BOOKING
YOU FOR THE FLOWER GIRL.
HOW DOES THAT SOUND?
 SERENA: REALLY?
COOL.
 FRANK: WELL, THIS LOOKS LIKE
ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY.
 SERENA: THEY'RE PLANNING
THE WEDDING.
 FRANK: OH, COOL.
SHOULD I SEND MY BOWLING SHIRT
TO THE CLEANERS?
 SERENA: YOU CAN'T WEAR
A BOWLING SHIRT.
YOU HAVE TO DRESS UP.
 FRANK: THAT IS DRESSING UP.
 SCOTT: THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
WE'LL GO WITH BOWLING SHIRTS.
 JOE: I'M WEARING MINE.
 SERENA: OH, NO.
 KAREN: OH, NO.
I THINK THEY'RE JUST KIDDING
YOU, SWEETIE.
 WOMAN: HEY, FRANK.
THIS CAME FOR YOU.
 COURTNEY: CAN THEY TRACE
THE BUG BACK TO US?
 FRANK: THEY'RE SURE TO DUST
THE C.D. RACK FOR FINGERPRINTS,
AND MINE ARE ALL OVER IT.
HELL, YES, THEY CAN TRACE IT
BACK TO US.
 COURTNEY: THIS SHOULD WORK.
 FRANK: IT'S BRILLIANT.
 COURTNEY: YEAH.
WELL, IT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT
THAT YOUR PRINTS ARE ON THAT
C.D. HOLDER.
IF THIS BLOWS UP IN OUR FACES,
FRANK --
 FRANK: IT WON'T.
I'M TAKING PRECAUTIONS TO MAKE
SURE EVERYTHING TURNS OUT JUST
FINE.
YOU TAKE THAT TO THE POST
OFFICE.
ALL RIGHT, JUST PUT IT
IN THE BACK FOR ME.
 WOMAN: CAN'T.
HAVE AN ORDER UP.
 SERENA: WHAT'S INSIDE?
 FRANK: I DON'T KNOW.
 SERENA: OPEN IT.
 FRANK: I CAN'T.
I DON'T HAVE A KNIFE.
 JOE: I'LL OPEN IT FOR YOU.
O.K., CHARLIE,
TIME FOR BED.
I'M NOT KIDDING,
MISTER.
CHARLES, I'M REALLY
NOT KIDDING.
 WITH DOUBLE THE CREME...
I AM COUNTING TO 10.
 IT'S DOUBLE THE LICKS.
1--2...
 ONLY FROM OREO.
ONCE UPON A STARRY NIGHT,
I HAD A BULKY DIAPER
THAT DIDN'T FIT RIGHT.
JUST THEN, SOMETHING NEW,
LIKE OUT OF A DREAM.
A NEW, BETTER FITTING
HUGGIES SUPREME.
A NARROWER MIDDLE,
 A NEW CONTOUR.
FORM-FITTING LEG ELASTICS
AND WHAT'S MORE,
A CONCENTRATED ABSORBENT CORE.
AND A FIT TO STOP LEAKS
LIKE NEVER BEFORE.
FOR FLEXIBILITY,
HUGGIES IS VIRTUALLY UNMATCHED.
AND THAT'S THE TRUTH,
NO STRINGS ATTACHED.
HERE THEY COME!
SURPRISE!
I MADE YOUR OLD
FAVORITE -- PEPPERONI!
I CAN'T EAT THAT NOW.
THIS CAN'T BE CHARLIE.
I DIDN'T TAKE MY PEPCID.
I GOTTA WAIT.
THEN WE ALL WAIT.
TAKE MY TAGAMET.
YOU COULD EAT NOW.
TAGAMET INTRODUCES A BETTER
WAY TO AVOID HEARTBURN.
NOT BEFORE. NOT AFTER.
NOW! NOW YOU CAN TAKE TAGAMET
RIGHT WHEN YOU'RE GONNA EAT
AND STILL PREVENT HEARTBURN.
SAME OLD CHARLIE.
WITH TAGAMET, YOU CAN
EAT LIKE A KID AGAIN.
 FRANK: STOP.
DON'T OPEN IT.
 SCOTT: WHY?
WHAT, DO YOU THINK IT COULD BE
A MAIL-ORDER BOMB?
 FRANK: ALMOST AS DANGEROUS.
IT'S AN ELECTRIC DRYWALL SAW.
IT'S VERY SHARP.
 JOE: WELL, LET'S SEE IT.
 FRANK: NO, NO.
I DON'T WANT TO OPEN IT HERE.
SOMEONE COULD REACH IN AND HURT
THEMSELVES.
 SERENA: WHO?
 FRANK: MY BROTHER,
THAT'S WHO.
HE'S A SURGEON, YOU KNOW,
AND I CAN'T LET HIM HURT
HIS HANDS.
IT'D PUT HIM OUT OF BUSINESS.
I'M GOING TO TAKE THIS THING
TO THE BACK ROOM.
 MATT: REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID
THAT WE WOULDN'T BE SEEING MUCH
OF SEBASTIAN ANYMORE?
 ELLEN: YES.
 MATT: WRONG.
 ELLEN: SEE?
HE'S LEAVING US ALONE.
 MATT: YEAH, SURE HE IS.
HE'S BUSY ORDERING EGGS BOURBON
STREET TO SEND TO OUR TABLE.
 ELLEN: BE NICE.
 MATT: WHY?
THIS TIME I'M HEADING HIM OFF
AT THE PASS.
AHEM.
 SEBASTIAN: GOOD MORNING.
 MATT: MORNING.
 SEBASTIAN: THE SURVEY.
PROMPT RESPONSE.
NEGATIVE AS ALL GET OUT,
BUT PROMPT.
 MATT: ARE YOU AWARE THAT
YOU'RE WORKING FOR A COMPANY
THAT'S ABOUT TO START MARKETING
A DRUG THAT HELPED KILL
TWO PEOPLE AT OUR HOSPITAL?
 SEBASTIAN: LANCE
PHARMACEUTICALS IS PLANNING
TO PRODUCE A TOTALLY NEW
AND IMPROVED VERSION OF THAT
DRUG.
 MATT: "NEW AND IMPROVED."
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT?
TOOTHPASTE?
IT'S A VERY DANGEROUS COMPOUND.
 SEBASTIAN: THAT'S A RECKLESS
ACCUSATION.
FRANKLY, I'M PROUD TO BE
ASSOCIATED WITH A FIRM THAT HAS
DEVELOPED DRUGS WITH SO MUCH
GOOD PROMISE.
 MATT: WELL, IF YOU BELIEVE
THAT, THEN YOU'LL BE THE PERFECT
MAN TO BE HANDLING THEIR P.R.
 SERENA: EVE!
 EVE: HEY, GIRLFRIEND!
 KEVIN: HEY.
 EVE: WHERE YOU BEEN?
 SERENA: HERE AND THERE.
 EVE: "HERE AND THERE."
ALL RIGHT.
 SERENA: WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE
TO SIT WITH US?
 EVE: NO, THAT'S OK.
WE DON'T WANT TO INTRUDE.
 KEVIN: NO, NO.
 SERENA: OH.
 KEVIN: SCOTT.
 SCOTT: HEY, KEVIN.
 KEVIN: KAREN, JOE,
HOW ARE YOU?
 KAREN: HEY.
 JOE: GOOD.
 SERENA: THEY'RE PLANNING
THE WEDDING.
 KEVIN: OH, GREAT.
 EVE: WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.
I WAS WONDERING WHEN YOU GUYS
WERE GOING TO GET ON WITH IT.
 JOE: WELL, THAT MAKES THREE
OF US.
 KAREN: HEY, LISTEN --
I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE AT CHRIS'
ABOUT YOUR SCHEDULE.
YOU NEVER CALLED ME BACK.
 EVE: I'M NOT -- I'M NOT
STAYING THERE RIGHT NOW.
 KAREN: YOU MOVED?
 EVE: YEAH, JUST TEMPORARILY.
WOW, THOSE MUFFINS LOOK REALLY
GOOD.
 KAREN: WELL, WHERE DID
YOU MOVE TO?
 EVE: THE LIGHTHOUSE.
I THINK I'M GOING TO BUY ONE
OF THOSE MUFFINS.
 KAREN: THE LIGHTHOUSE?
 EVE: YEAH, THE CHOCOLATE CHIP
ONES LOOKS REALLY GOOD.
 KEVIN: CHOCOLATE CHIP?
SURE. YEAH.
 JOE: DID SHE SAY
THE LIGHTHOUSE?
 KAREN: THE LIGHTHOUSE.
 KEVIN: YES. THE LIGHTHOUSE.
 SCOTT: THE LIGHTHOUSE?
 EVE: THE LIGHTHOUSE.
 SCOTT: WELL, I GUESS WE KNOW
THAT MEANS.
EVE'S LIVING WITH VICTOR.
 VICTOR: NORMALLY AT THIS
HOUR, I WOULD OFFER MY GUEST
A CUP OF COFFEE.
BUT TODAY I'VE PREPARED
SOMETHING SPECIAL.
 LUCY: WOW.
THIS LOOKS LIKE MY FAVORITE
STONE -- LIQUID EMERALD.
 VICTOR: ABSINTHE.
 LUCY: HMM.
 VICTOR: MMM.
 LUCY: HMM.
 VICTOR: AH, NOTHING CARRIES
ME BACK TO THE FRENCH-ALGERIAN
WAR FASTER THAN A SIP
OF ABSINTHE.
 LUCY: WHOO.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE LICORICE.
 VICTOR: BE CAREFUL.
IT HAS A VERY HIGH ALCOHOLIC
CONTENT.
 LUCY: THAT I CAN TELL.
WHOO!
 VICTOR: IT WAS ISSUED
AS RATIONS TO THE FRENCH
SOLDIERS DURING THE FIRST
ALGERIAN WAR IN 1884 TO CONSUME
WITH THEIR WATER AS A BACTERIAL
DETERRENT.
 LUCY: OH.
 VICTOR: AND THUS BEGAN
THE PASSION KNOWN AS THE CRAZE
FOR THE GREEN MENACE.
 LUCY: WHERE IN THE WORLD DID
YOU GET THIS STUFF?
 VICTOR: DON'T EVEN ASK.
IT WAS ABSINTHE THAT LED ME
TO MY GREAT AFFAIR IN ALGERIA.
IT'S ALL IN THE JOURNAL.
I HAPPENED TO BE TRAVELING
IN ALGERIA WHEN THE WAR BROKE
OUT IN 1954.
IT WAS ACTUALLY IN A BAR
IN ALGIERS CALLED L'ABSINTHE
THAT I MET A FRENCH BARKEEP
NAMED SYLVIE.
 LUCY: SYLVIE?
OH, THAT'S SO ROMANTIC.
A FRENCH BARKEEP?
 VICTOR: BELIEVE ME, WE SIPPED
MANY AN ABSINTHE DURING OUR LONG
NIGHTS TOGETHER.
IT WAS ACTUALLY SYLVIE WHO HID
ME AND HELPED ME GET SAFELY BACK
TO THE STATES.
 LUCY: OOH.
WELL, WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?
 VICTOR: JE NE SAIS PAS.
I NEVER SAW HER AGAIN.
I TRIED ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS
TO TRACK HER DOWN, BUT NEVER
WITH ANY SUCCESS.
 LUCY: VICTOR, I'M SORRY.
HEY, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
THIS IS TRULY A LONG, LONG SHOT.
BUT WHILE YOU WERE THERE,
YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO RUN
INTO A GUY WHO CALLED
HIMSELF D.V.?
 VICTOR: D.V.
 LUCY: YEAH, IT'S DAVID
VINCENT BORDISSO.
 VICTOR: NO.
WHY?
 LUCY: JUST WONDERING.
 CHRIS: HEY, THANKS
FOR BREAKFAST IN BED.
NEXT TIME, I'LL SERVE YOU.
 COURTNEY: WHAT MAKES
YOU SO SURE THERE WILL BE A NEXT
TIME, CHRIS?
 CHRIS: OH, WELL, A GUY CAN
DREAM, CAN'T HE?
WHOO.
NOW, LOOK AT YOU.
YOU KNOW, I STILL DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH A GUY
LIKE ME.
 COURTNEY: KILL THE FLATTERY.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO.
 CHRIS: YOU DO?
 COURTNEY: YEAH.
YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ME TO STAY
AND DO THE DISHES, AND IT'S NOT
GOING TO WORK.
 CHRIS: AND RISK GIVING
YOU DISHPAN HANDS?
NEVER, EVER, EVER.
 COURTNEY: OK.
OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
I ALMOST FORGOT MY PURSE.
 CHRIS: NOW, YOU COME BACK
REAL SOON, AND I DON'T MEAN
TO DO THE DISHES.
 COURTNEY: YEAH.
BABY, DO YOU LOVE ME ?
OF COURSE, I DO.
WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT ME ?
WELL, MICHELOB, I LOVE YOU MORE
THAN LIFE ITSELF.
WHAT DID YOU CALL ME ?
I CALLED YOU TERESA.
NO, YOU DID NOT !
YOU JUST CALLED ME MICHELOB.
I'M OUTTA HERE.
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
- WHAT ?
WHILE YOU'RE UP,
COULD YOU GET ME A MICHELOB ?
- [ Announcer ]
  THERE'S ORDINARY BEER.
- [ Whimpers ]
THEN THERE'S THE SMOOTH TASTE
OF MICHELOB.
 IF YOU'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT
 JUMPING INTO A RUGGED
      NEW MONTANA,    
I NEED MORE ROOM!
 NOW'S A REALLY GOOD TIME...
NEVER SEEN A MINIVAN
   DO THAT BEFORE!  
 MAYBE IT'S NOT  
REALLY A MINIVAN.
 LIFE IS MORE EXCITING...
 IN MONTANA.
 NOW JUMP INTO A RUGGED MONTANA
 WITH THIS LIMITED TIME OFFER...
 BUT GET A MOVE ON,
 BECAUSE THE TRAIN'S
 LEAVING THE STATION.
HEY! CHECK THIS OUT!
WHAT ?
HE'LL NEVER GET THAT
GRUNGY SHIRT WHITE...
HE'S ONLY USING A HALF A
CUP OF CLOROX BLEACH.
YAH, HE'S SUPPOSED TO USE A
WHOLE CUP OF CLOROX BLEACH
 TO GET CLOTHES
 REALLY WHITE!
UH-OH!
I BET SHE KNOWS
TO USE A WHOLE CUP.
SEE ? WHAT DID
I TELL YA ?
 LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE
 IN WHITENING
 WHEN YOU USE A WHOLE CUP
 OF CLOROX BLEACH.
HEY, I'M KINDA COOL!
HOW COME HE GETS THE GIRL ?
MAYBE 'CAUSE HIS
SHIRT'S SO WHITE.
YEAH, WHO ASKED YOU ?
 FOR WHITER WHITES, USE A WHOLE
 CUP OF CLOROX BLEACH.
Woman, vo: IF I COULD
FALL ASLEEP RIGHT NOW,
I'D GET 6 GOOD HOURS.
[DOG BREATHING DEEPLY]
I COULD STILL GET 4 HOURS.
4 HOURS IS OK.
I'VE DONE WITHOUT SLEEP BEFORE.
I CAN DO IT AGAIN.
IF YOU CAN'T SLEEP,
IF THINGS YOU'VE TRIED
LEAVE YOU GROGGY THE NEXT DAY...
YOUR DOCTOR HAS AN INNOVATIVE
APPROACH TO SLEEP THERAPY YOU
SHOULD KNOW ABOUT...
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPS]
[PAGER BEEPS]
 JOE: OH. IT'S THE HOSPITAL.
I GOT TO GO.
 KAREN: OK.
I'LL CATCH UP WITH A MINUTE.
 JOE: ALL RIGHT.
SEE YOU, SCOTT.
TOODLE-OO, TENNIS SHOE.
 SERENA: BYE-BYE, BUTTERFLY.
 SCOTT: OK.
NOW THAT I'M LEFT ALONE
WITH MY TWO BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS,
I HAVE SOMETHING I WANT
TO DISCUSS.
 SERENA: UH-OH.
I HOPE WE'RE NOT IN TROUBLE.
 KAREN: BE BRAVE.
OK, SHOOT.
 SCOTT: YOU FIRST.
 KAREN: UH-OH.
 SERENA: OH.
 SCOTT: I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE
THE HONOR OF THROWING
YOUR WEDDING.
 KAREN: I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO SAY.
 SCOTT: SAY YES.
SAY YES, OR YOU'RE GOING
TO BREAK MY HEART.
 KAREN: YES.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE FANCY
OR ANYTHING.
I MEAN, WE CAN BE VERY SIMPLE.
 SCOTT: OH, FANCY-SHMANCY --
ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES.
 KAREN: I'LL RUN IT BY JOE.
I'M SURE HE'LL BE GRATEFUL
AS WELL.
I MEAN, IT WAS ENOUGH JUST THAT
YOU COULD WALK ME DOWN
THE AISLE.
 SCOTT: WELL, I'M GOING TO BE
THE PROUDEST FATHER THAT ANYONE
HAS EVER SEEN.
 SERENA: DADDY?
 SCOTT: HMM?
 SERENA: YOU'RE FORGETTING
ABOUT ME.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE WERE GOING
TO DO ONE FOR HER AND
ONE FOR ME.
 SCOTT: OH, YES, YES, YES.
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT
WHEN YOU DECIDE TO GET MARRIED
THAT I'M GOING TO DO THE SAME
THING FOR YOU.
EXCEPT THERE'S ONE CONDITION.
 SERENA: WHAT'S THAT?
 SCOTT: THAT YOU PROMISE ME
YOU WON'T GET MARRIED TILL
YOU'RE OUT OF THE FOURTH GRADE.
OK?
 SERENA: YEAH.
 SCOTT: RIGHT.
THAT'S MY KID, THAT'S MY KID.
 COURTNEY: HI.
OH, GOOD.
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE IN BUSINESS.
 FRANK: I HAD A CLOSE CALL.
THE RECEIVER WAS DELIVERED WHILE
JOE WAS HAVING BREAKFAST
AT THE RECOVERY ROOM.
 COURTNEY: SO, WHAT DID
YOU DO?
 FRANK: TAP-DANCED.
 COURTNEY: YEAH?
WELL, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE.
CHRIS ALMOST CAUGHT ME GOING
THROUGH HIS FILES.
 FRANK: DID YOU GET THE LANCE
PAPERS?
 COURTNEY: NO. NOT YET.
BUT DON'T WORRY.
HE'LL BE INVITING ME BACK.
 FRANK: YEAH.
I WONDER WHY.
 COURTNEY: I STILL HAVE WHAT
IT TAKES.
 FRANK: COME ON. HERE GOES.
 CHRIS: I KNOW SHE'S LYING
ABOUT HER MONEY.
COURTNEY KANELOS DIDN'T GET
A DIME FROM HER EX.
 FRANK: HE MUST BE
ON THE PHONE WITH THE P.I. THAT
HE HIRED.
 CHRIS: AND I HAVE THE NAME
OF HER BANK.
I WANT YOU TO CHECK IT OUT
AND SEE HOW MUCH MONEY
SHE REALLY HAS THERE.
PORT CHARLES NATIONAL BANK.
 COURTNEY: WHAT?
OH.
OH, GREAT.
GREAT.
HE STOLE MY BANK ENVELOPE.
THAT SON OF A --
 FRANK: LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE NOT
AS GOOD AS YOU THOUGHT.
 KEVIN: VICTOR, DO YOU KNOW
WHERE I LEFT THO--
SO THIS IS WHAT A PILEATED
WOODPECKER LOOKS LIKE?
 VICTOR: I BEG YOUR PARDON.
LUCY IS CONSIDERABLY MORE
BEAUTIFUL THAN ANY BIRD,
NO MATTER HOW RARE.
SHE JUST STOPPED BY TO TALK ME
ABOUT MY DAYS IN ALGIERS.
 KEVIN: DOESN'T EVERYONE.
HELLO, LUCY.
 LUCY: HELLO, DOC.
 VICTOR: I'LL JUST GATHER UP
THESE THINGS.
 KEVIN: NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'M NOT STAYING.
I JUST FORGOT TO TAKE THOSE
OVERDUE LIBRARY BOOKS.
 LUCY: BOOKS?
I SAW SOME BOOKS UNDER THE TABLE
HERE.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WENT
IN FOR THIS KIND OF HISTORICAL
NOVEL, THOUGH.
 KEVIN: ONLY OCCASIONALLY.
 EVE: OH, MAN, WHAT A DAY.
AFTER YOU GOT OUT OF THE CAR,
I REALIZED I FORGOT TO GET
MY PAGER.
COMPANY.
 VICTOR: SHE'S HERE TO SEE ME.
 EVE: THAT'S NICE.
THANKS.
 LUCY: I SEE.
 KEVIN: SHE'S STAYING HERE
FOR A WHILE.
 LUCY: RIGHT.
"STAYING HERE."
 KEVIN: I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING
TO MOVE AHEAD WITH EVE.
 LUCY: YEAH, YOU SURE DID, BUT
CALL ME CRAZY, BUT SOMEHOW
YOU LEFT OUT THAT PART ABOUT
STAYING HERE, YOU KNOW,
AND TO ME, THAT'S A VERY,
VERY IMPORTANT PART JUST
TO LEAVE OUT.
 MATT: WELL, ONE MEAL TODAY
INTERRUPTED BY SEBASTIAN DOWN.
TWO MORE TO GO.
HOW ABOUT IF WE TELL HIM WHERE
WE'RE HAVING LUNCH, MAKE IT
EASIER FOR HIM?
 ELLEN: SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T
KNOW YOU MIGHT THINK YOU WERE
BEING SARCASTIC.
 MATT: MOI?
 ELLEN: SEBASTIAN!