pc sept 18

 KAREN: YOU WANT TO ELOPE?
 JOE: YES.
 KAREN: WHEN?
 JOE: TOMORROW.
 KAREN: JOE, WE DON'T EVEN
HAVE OUR MARRIAGE LICENSE YET.
 JOE: OK, THE FIRST THING
TOMORROW MORNING, WE'LL GO DOWN
TO THE COUNTY CLERK'S OFFICE,
9:00 A.M., AND WE WILL APPLY
FOR A LICENSE.
 KAREN: OH, JOE.
HOLD ON.
 JOE: LOOK, LISTEN,
KAREN, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE
THAT'S AFFECTED BY BRENDA'S
DEATH.
WHEN SOMEBODY THAT YOUNG DIES,
KAREN, IT'S LIKE A WAKE-UP CALL.
THERE'S NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT
TO ME IN THIS WORLD THAN YOU.
 KAREN: I FEEL THE SAME WAY
ABOUT YOU, BUT I JUST --
 JOE: I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
I WANT YOU TO BE MY WIFE
SO BADLY, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
KAREN, IT'LL TAKE 24 HOURS
TO PROCESS THAT LICENSE,
WHICH MEANS WE CAN GET MARRIED
THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, HUH?
 KEVIN: A BABY.
THERE WAS A BABY AT THAT PICNIC.
 EVE: IS THIS THE FIRST TIME
YOU REMEMBERED THAT?
 KEVIN: YES.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I HAVEN'T SEEN
THAT BEFORE.
RYAN AND I WERE RUNNING ABOUT
PLAYING TAG.
MY MOTHER AND FATHER WERE
SETTING OUT THE LUNCH.
AND THERE IS A BABY
IN A CARRIAGE CRYING.
 EVE: WELL, MAYBE THERE WAS
ANOTHER FAMILY WITH
YOU ON THE PICNIC.
 KEVIN: NO.
ONLY MY MOTHER'S FRIEND, MARCIA.
BUT IT'S MY MOTHER WHO PICKS UP
THE BABY AND CRADLES HIM.
 EVE: HIM?
 KEVIN: OR HER.
I'M NOT SURE.
 EVE: DID ANYONE ELSE HOLD
THE BABY?
 KEVIN: NO.
ONLY MY MOTHER.
AND IT WAS MY MOTHER WHO FED
HIM, TOO.
DO I HAVE A BROTHER OR SISTER
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?
 LUCY: HEY, LISTEN -- HONEST,
I SWEAR, IF YOU JUST LET US GO
RIGHT NOW, WE WON'T BREATHE
A WORD OF THIS, NOT ONE LITTLE,
TEENY, TINY PEEP TO ANYBODY.
I MEAN, BESIDES, HOW COULD WE?
WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING -- WHAT
YOU'RE MEETING OR WHAT YOU'RE
PICKING UP OR WHO YOU'RE PICKING
IT UP FROM.
WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING,
AND WE DON'T REALLY WANT
TO KNOW.
I SWEAR WE DON'T.
AND PLUS -- PLUS, EVEN
IF WE KNEW, WHO WOULD WE TELL?
WE DON'T KNOW ANYBODY THAT WOULD
WANT TO KNOW.
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
 MAN: MAKE SURE THEY'RE GOOD
AND TIGHT.
 LUCY: THEY ARE.
I SWEAR, WE'RE NOT GOING
ANYWHERE.
 SCOTT: LISTEN, LISTEN --
 LUCY: OW! OW!
 SCOTT: HEY, HEY, HEY.
IF YOU WANT TO TORTURE ME,
THEN WHY DON'T YOU WHIP ME
WITH A RUBBER HOSE, BUT DON'T
HANDCUFF ME TO HER.
IT'S DOWNRIGHT INHUMAN.
 MAN: I CAN SEE THAT.
 WOMAN: HEY.
IT'S HERE.
 MAN: YOU TEST IT?
 WOMAN: GRADE A, 100% PURE.
 MAN: GREAT.
NOW ALL WE GOT TO DO IS FIGURE
OUT HOW TO GET RID OF THESE TWO.
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION]
 KAREN: THIS IS SO SUDDEN.
 JOE: NO, IT'S NOT.
NOT IF YOU CONSIDER THAT I HAVE
HAD THE HOTS FOR YOU SINCE I'VE
BEEN, LIKE, 10 YEARS OLD.
 KAREN: SHH!
 JOE: KAREN, I JUST -- I WANT
TO MAKE YOU MINE NOW.
 KAREN: BUT A WEDDING IS
SOMETHING THAT YOU REMEMBER
FOREVER.
 JOE: YEAH, BUT TOO MANY
PEOPLE PUT EMPHASIS
ON THE CEREMONY AND NOT ENOUGH
ON THE ACTUAL MARRIAGE.
I JUST WANT TO BE YOUR HUSBAND.
I DON'T CARE WHERE WE GET
MARRIED.
WE COULD GET MARRIED
IN A BOWLING ALLEY.
 KAREN: OH. YEAH, RIGHT.
 JOE: I COULD SEE IT NOW --
THE PRIEST WOULD BE UP THERE
ON THE FOUL LINE ADMINISTERING
THE VOWS, AND THE MINUTE
HE PRONOUNCES US HUSBAND
AND WIFE, WE EACH GRAB A BALL,
THROW IT DOWN THE LANE.
NOW, THAT WOULD BE MEMORABLE.
 KAREN: WE WENT BOWLING
ON OUR THIRD DATE.
I HARDLY THINK TWO GUTTER BALLS
WOULD BE A GOOD OMEN TO KICK OFF
A MARRIAGE.
 JOE: ALL RIGHT, BUT LISTEN --
IT'S NOT THE SCORE THAT COUNTS,
IT'S HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME.
AND I CAN THINK OF NO ONE ELSE
THAT I'D RATHER PLAY THE GAME
WITH THAN YOU.
 KAREN: YOU'RE A PRETTY GOOD
PLAYMATE YOURSELF.
 JOE: SERIOUSLY, KAREN,
THINK ABOUT IT.
 KAREN: ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
IN A BOWLING ALLEY?
 JOE: NO, EINSTEIN, ELOPING.
 KAREN: SHH!
Be quiet, ok?
YOU REALIZE MY RESERVATIONS HAVE
NOTHING TO DO WITH MY FEELINGS
FOR YOU.
I CANNOT WAIT TO BE YOUR WIFE.
 JOE: SO?
IS THAT A YES?
 KAREN: DO YOU REALLY WANT
TO DO THIS?
 JOE: YES, I DO.
YOU SEE HOW EASY THAT ROLLS OFF
MY TONGUE?
I DO.
I DO.
KAREN, I WANT TO BE
YOUR PARTNER.
I DON'T WANT TO END UP LIKE JAX
AND BRENDA, BEING SO CLOSE
TO HAVING EVERYTHING AND THEN
HAVING IT ALL JUST DISAPPEAR.
SAY YES.
MARRY ME.
 KAREN: TOMORROW MORNING,
9:00 A.M., COUNTY CLERK'S
OFFICE.
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE.
 JOE: AND?
 KAREN: AND MONDAY MORNING,
YOU AND I WILL SHOW UP TO WORK
AS HUSBAND AND WIFE.
 KEVIN: VICTOR, IT'S KEVIN.
CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS
MESSAGE.
IT'S IMPORTANT.
SOMETHING'S WRONG.
 EVE: KEVIN, I'M SURE HE'S
FINE.
 KEVIN: WHY ISN'T HE AT HOME?
 EVE: I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE HE WENT TO THE STORE.
OR MAYBE HE'S -- MAYBE HE'S
WITH MARY SCANLON.
 KEVIN: I DON'T CARE.
I WANT TO TALK TO HIM NOW.
 EVE: KEVIN,
YOU ARE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS.
JUST BECAUSE YOU HAD A MEMORY
ABOUT A BABY BEING AT THE PICNIC
DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN IT'S
A SIBLING.
 KEVIN: THEN WHAT WAS IT DOING
THERE?
 EVE: I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE YOU'RE JUST REMEMBERING
THINGS INCORRECTLY.
MAYBE YOU WERE SEEING YOURSELF
AS THE BABY AND YOU WERE
CONFUSING MEMORIES.
 KEVIN: NO.
NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
 EVE: KEVIN.
 KEVIN: THE MORE I FOCUS
ON THIS, EVE, THE MORE I AM
CERTAIN THAT THERE WAS A BABY
THERE AND MY MOTHER WAS TAKING
CARE OF IT.
 EVE: ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
I COULD IMAGINE HOW DIFFICULT IT
MUST BE TO FIND OUT THAT YOU HAD
A BROTHER OR SISTER YOU DIDN'T
KNOW ABOUT, BUT, KEVIN -- KEVIN,
YOU GOT TO CALM DOWN.
 KEVIN: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND,
EVE.
IT'S NOT JUST THE IDEA THAT
I MIGHT HAVE ANOTHER SIBLING OUT
THERE.
I THOUGHT I HAD COME SO FAR
WITH VICTOR, THAT AFTER
A LIFETIME OF DECEPTION,
I THOUGHT I COULD FINALLY TRUST
HIM.
IF I AM RELATED TO THAT BABY,
THEN THAT MEANS HE'S BEEN LYING
TO ME AGAIN.
 LUCY: YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T
REALLY WANT TO KILL US.
YOU CAN'T KILL US.
WELL, I GUESS, OF COURSE,
YOU CAN KILL US.
BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
YOU SEE, I HAPPEN TO RUN A VERY
BIG COSMETICS COMPANY -- JACKS
COSMETICS.
PERHAPS YOU'VE HEARD OF IT.
A LOT OF PEOPLE NEED ME
FOR THEIR JOBS, YOU KNOW?
WHAT WOULD THEY DO WITHOUT ME?
 SCOTT: QUIET.
LET ME HANDLE THIS.
 LUCY: AND BESIDES, YOU KNOW,
I HAPPEN TO KNOW A POLICE
COMMISSIONER.
THERE'S A GUY NAMED MAC SCORPIO.
HE RUNS THE WHOLE POLICE
DEPARTMENT IN PORT CHARLES,
NEW YORK.
WE'RE VERY GOOD FRIENDS.
AND IF YOU HARM US IN ANY WAY,
HE WILL TRACK YOU DOWN TILL
THE DAY HE DIES.
 SCOTT: YOU KNOW, WE HAD
A CRASH LANDING, AND SHE HIT
HER HEAD VERY, VERY HARD.
SHE'S DELIRIOUS.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S
TALKING ABOUT RIGHT --
 LUCY: I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT.
AND YOU SHOULD LISTEN.
THIS MAN HAPPENS TO BE VERY
IMPORTANT, ALSO.
HE IS AN ATTORNEY, A VERY
INFLUENTIAL LAWYER IN
PORT CHARLES.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE'S GOING TO TAKE YOU TWO
TO TRIAL AND PUT YOU TWO BOZOS
BEHIND JAIL.
YOU'LL NEVER GET YOURSELF OUT --
EVER.
OW!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
 SCOTT: NOBODY CARES ABOUT
LITTLE FISHES.
 LUCY: WHAT?
FISHING?
YOU WANT TO GO FISHING --
OH, MY GOD.
UM, YOU KNOW, HE'S RIGHT.
BOY, I AM A LITTLE DIZZY.
MAC SCORPIO -- I WISH I KNEW
HIM, YOU KNOW.
HE'S A REAL SWELL GUY,
A BIG SHOT IN PORT CHARLES,
BUT I DON'T KNOW HIM.
HE DOESN'T KNOW ME FROM ADAM.
I MEAN, I'M A NOBODY.
WHY WOULD HE KNOW ME?
 WOMAN: YOU SAID YOU RAN
A COSMETICS COMPANY.
 LUCY: WHAT?
NO. NO.
WHAT I MEANT IS I'M A RUNNER
FOR A COSMETICS COMPANY.
REALLY, CAN YOU PICTURE SOMEBODY
LIKE ME RUNNING A GREAT BIG
COMPANY LIKE THAT?
 MAN: ZIP IT.
BOTH OF YOU.
 LUCY: OK.
IT'S ZIPPED.
IT'S DONE.
NOT ANOTHER WORD.
 WOMAN: WHAT DO YOU WANT
TO DO?
 MAN: IT'S OBVIOUS THESE TWO
ARE BIG SHOTS.
 LUCY: UH-UH, NO.
NO, WE'RE LITTLE SHOTS.
WE'RE NOBODIES, REALLY.
 MAN: CHANCES ARE SOMEONE'S
LOOKING FOR THEM ALREADY.
WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE FAST.
 SCOTT: YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD.
GET WHILE THE GETTING IS GOOD.
AND I -- HEY, I GUARANTEE
YOU THAT SHE WILL SAY NOTHING
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED HERE.
 MAN: THANKS FOR THE ADVICE.
AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE INTEND
TO TAKE YOUR PLANE, AS LONG
AS IT GETS THE OK FROM
MY MECHANIC.
YOU CHECK IT OUT?
 WOMAN: THERE'S A LEAK
IN THE OIL LINE.
I PATCHED IT AND PUT IN SOME
MORE OIL.
 MAN: GREAT.
WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS.
AND AS FOR THE GUARANTEE
OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S SILENCE --
I'M AFRAID I'M GOING TO HAVE
TO MAKE SURE NEITHER ONE
OF YOU GETS A CHANCE TO TALK.
 SCOTT: OH, NO, NO, NO.
WE COME FROM AFAR
TO FULFILL YOUR DREAM...
AND BRING YOU
AN IMPROVED HUGGIES SUPREME.
WE MAKE IT DRYER...
WITH 15% MORE
SPECIAL ABSORBENT MATERIAL...
AND A DRY-TOUCH LAYER
THAT'S 40% WIDER.
WE ADD MORE ALL-AROUND
LEAK-FIGHTING POWER,
WITH TALLER LEG GUARDS,
EVEN BARRIERS AT THE WAIST.
4-STAR PROTECTION.
WHAT A PLEASURE TO WEAR.
HUGGIES SUPREME:
[ Announcer ]
SOMETIMES WHEN
YOU NEED A HELPING HAND,
- [ Speaking Italian ]
- I'M PRETTY MUCH LOST.
IT'S AMAZING HOW FAR A HEALTHY,
WHITE SMILE CAN TAKE YOU.
UH, MA'AM--
[ Chattering In Italian ]
 MOLTO--
  MOLTO GRAZIE.
CREST EXTRA WHITENING WORKS
KIND OF LIKE A DENTIST PASTE.
IT GENTLY POLISHES TO LET YOUR
NATURAL WHITENESS SHINE THROUGH.
- [ Car Horn Honking ]
- [ Speaking Italian ]
WHICH IS ONE WAY TO BREAK
THE LANGUAGE BARRIER.
CREST EXTRA WHITENING.
 IT'S THE ONE MATERIAL
 THAT HELPS PRESERVE THE EARTH
 BY BEING RECYCLED MORE THAN
 ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD.
 ( crashing )
 BUT IT DOESN'T ALWAYS FIT
 IN THOSE LITTLE RECYCLING BINS.
 FEEL THE STRENGTH.
WHEN IT'S TIME TO CLEAN
YOUR OUTSIDE WINDOWS,
DOES THE JOB SEEM... THIS BIG ?
NEXT TIME,
TRY NEW WINDEX OUTDOOR.
JUST AIM, SPRAY AND RINSE.
WINDEX OUTDOOR'S CONCENTRATED
FORMULA AND SHEETING ACTION...
DISSOLVE TOUGH OUTDOOR GRIME
TO GET WINDOWS CLEAN.
NO BUCKETS.  NO LADDERS.
 NO AGGRAVATION.
BRING A BIG JOB DOWN TO SIZE
WITH NEW WINDEX OUTDOOR.
 SCOTT: WAIT.
NO, WAIT, WAIT.
WAIT JUST A MINUTE HERE.
YOU KNOW, DRUG SMUGGLING IS ONE
THING, BUT MURDER -- THAT'S
A WHOLE OTHER BALLGAME HERE.
DO YOU WANT TO PUT YOURSELF
IN LINE FOR THE DEATH PENALTY?
BECAUSE I'M TELLING YOU,
IF THEY FIND US HANDCUFFED,
KILLED EXECUTION STYLE,
THERE WILL BE A HUGE MANHUNT.
THEY WILL COME AFTER YOU.
THEY WILL TRACK YOU DOWN.
AND THEN THERE'LL BE NO PLEA
BARGAIN IN THE END.
 WOMAN: THE GUY'S GOT A POINT.
WE NEVER KILLED ANYBODY BEFORE.
AND ALTHOUGH KNOCKING OFF
THE WINDBAG WOULD MAKE IT ALMOST
WORTH IT, I DON'T THINK THIS IS
THE TIME TO START.
 MAN: OK.
 LUCY: OH.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU KNOW, I PROMISE WE WON'T SAY
ANYTHING.
 SCOTT: QUIET!
BEFORE HE CHANGES HIS MIND.
 MAN: LISTEN TO THIS MAN.
 LUCY: GOTCHA.
I'M ZIPPED.
I'M SEALED UP.
 MAN: LET'S GET MOVING.
 WOMAN: WHAT ABOUT OUR TRUCK?
 MAN: WE OUGHT TO BURN IT
SO THEY CAN'T USE IT TO GET
INTO TOWN LATER AND RAT ON US.
 SCOTT: WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE US LIKE
THIS.
 MAN: OH, YES, WE CAN.
 LUCY: NO, NO, NO. YOU CAN'T.
THIS IS IN THE MIDDLE
OF NOWHERE.
WE DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE.
 WOMAN: YOU GOT EACH OTHER
FOR COMPANY.
 LUCY: WELL, WHAT ABOUT
THE HANDCUFFS?
COULDN'T YOU JUST TAKE THEM OFF,
PLEASE?
PLEASE?
 MAN: YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT ONE
THING.
 LUCY: WHAT?
 MAN: I CAN'T IMAGINE
YOU AS THE HEAD OF ANY COMPANY.
 LUCY: WAIT A MINUTE.
DON'T JUST LEAVE US.
WE COULD DIE.
PLEASE DON'T.
 WOMAN: THERE IS THAT
POSSIBILITY.
 LUCY: WAIT A MINUTE.
HEY.
 COURTNEY: HEY.
 KAREN: HEY.
WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
 COURTNEY: OH, I WAS MAKING
A PAYMENT ON NEIL'S BILL.
KAREN, NOW, I HOPE YOU DON'T
THINK I'M BEING TOO FORWARD,
BUT WHEN I WAS IN THE GIFT SHOP,
I STARTED THUMBING THROUGH SOME
BRIDAL MAGAZINES BECAUSE I'M
GETTING BACK INTO THE PARTY
PLANNING BUSINESS AND I WANTED
TO SEE WHAT WAS CURRENT.
OK.
ANYWAY, I SAW THE MOST PERFECT
DRESS FOR YOU.
ISN'T IT GORGEOUS?
 KAREN: THAT'S BEAUTIFUL,
YEAH.
IT'S AMAZING.
BUT JOE AND I WERE THINKING
ABOUT SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE
CASUAL.
 COURTNEY: OH, OK.
SOMETHING PRACTICAL THAT
YOU COULD WEAR AFTER
THE WEDDING.
 KAREN: I HARDLY THINK
A BOWLING SHIRT IS PRACTICAL.
 COURTNEY: WELL, RETRO'S IN.
BUT DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S JUST
PUSHING THE ENVELOPE A LITTLE
BIT?
 KAREN: JOE AND I AREN'T
THINKING ABOUT HAVING A BIG
WEDDING.
 COURTNEY: YOU KNOW,
I SHOULDN'T BE TELLING YOU THIS
BECAUSE IN THE PLANNING
BUSINESS, WE'RE ALWAYS SUPPOSED
TO SAY THE BIGGER THE BETTER,
BUT I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR SMALL
FAMILY CELEBRATIONS.
JUST DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE
I DID.
 KAREN: WHAT WAS THAT?
 COURTNEY: OH, WELL, MY EX
AND I HAD MADE ALL THESE
ELABORATE WEDDING PLANS,
AND THEN SPUR OF THE MOMENT,
WE ELOPED.
 KAREN: OH, THAT'S
SO ROMANTIC.
 COURTNEY: TRY TELLING THAT
TO HIS PARENTS.
 KAREN: THEY WERE
DISAPPOINTED?
 COURTNEY: THEY NEVER FORGAVE
ME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE
THEIR BABY BOY GET MARRIED,
ESPECIALLY HIS MOTHER.
EVEN THOUGH IT WAS HIS IDEA,
I WAS THE ONE SHE BLAMED.
 KAREN: I BET MARY WOULD BE
A BIT UPSET IF JOE AND I ELOPED.
 COURTNEY: KAREN, YOU CUT
HER OUT OF THE WEDDING, AND BE
PREPARED TO PAY FOR IT ALONG
AS YOU'RE MARRIED TO JOE. COURTNEY: NEXT TIME I GET
MARRIED, I AM GOING ALL OUT
FOR MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
AND FOR ME,
WHO KNOWS?
MAYBE IF I HAD DONE IT RIGHT
THE FIRST TIME, I'D STILL BE
MARRIED.
 RYAN'S VOICE: ü ROCK-A-BYE
BABY
IN THIS TALL TREE
IS THIS STRANGE BABY
RELATED TO ME? ü
 KEVIN: PLEASE JUST STOP.
 RYAN'S VOICE: ü WAS MOMMY
ITS MOTHER?
OR VICTOR ITS DAD?
OR DID ü
 KEVIN: STOP IT.
STOP IT.
STOP IT!
 RYAN: NOW, WHAT RHYMES
WITH "HOMICIDAL"?
 KEVIN: HOW ABOUT "GO AWAY"?
 RYAN: YOU KNOW, I WAS
BEGINNING TO THINK YOU WOULD
NEVER REMEMBER THAT LITTLE TYKE.
 KEVIN: WHO WAS THAT BABY?
ARE WE RELATED TO IT?
 EVE: KEVIN.
ARE YOU TALKING TO SOMEBODY?
 KEVIN: HE'S HERE.
 EVE: RYAN?
 KEVIN: IN THE MIRROR.
 EVE: KEVIN, YOU'VE BEEN UNDER
A LOT OF STRAIN.
 KEVIN: I SEE HIM PLAIN
AS DAY.
I CAN HEAR HIM, TOO.
HE KEEPS SINGING THIS AWFUL
LULLABY.
YOU MUST THINK I'M CRAZY.
 EVE: NO, I DON'T.
 KEVIN: YOU KNOW, I THINK
I COULD USE A GLASS OF WATER.
WOULD YOU MIND?
 EVE: NO.
NO, NO, NO.
I'LL GET IT.
I'LL GET IT.
WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN.
[RYAN LAUGHS]
 RYAN: IF YOU KEEP TELLING
PEOPLE THAT YOU SEE GHOSTS
IN THE MIRROR, YOU'RE GOING
TO BUY YOURSELF A ONE-WAY TICKET
TO THE BOOBY HATCH.
 KEVIN: YEAH, WELL,
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S DRIVING ME
CRAZY.
 RYAN: WELL, FROM WHERE
I STAND, BRO, THAT'S A MIGHTY
SHORT DRIVE.
 KEVIN: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
 RYAN: CAN'T DO THAT.
 KEVIN: WHY NOT?
 RYAN: HAVE TO HELP YOU SOLVE
THE MYSTERY.
 KEVIN: I DON'T NEED
YOUR HELP.
 RYAN: YOUR
LYING-THROUGH-HER-TEETH
EX-FIANCEE IS NOWHERE TO BE
SEEN, AND OUR FATHER, AS I'M
SURE YOU KNOW, IS ABOUT
AS RELIABLE AS A $2 WATCH.
AND THE BABE PLAYING FLORENCE
NIGHTINGALE, DESPITE
HER PROTESTATIONS, SHE OBVIOUSLY
BELIEVES THAT YOU'RE A COUPLE
OF BEERS SHORT OF A SIX-PACK.
I AM YOUR ONLY HOPE.
IN FACT --
 RYAN: AH.
ISN'T THAT BETTER?
AND THESE FLOWERS
ü WE'
OH, WONDERFUL.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Women:
THE AUSSIE PHILOSOPHY.
Woman 1:
I BELIEVE MY HAIR
SHOULD BE IN A CLEAN
AND NATURAL STATE.
Woman 2:
LIKE AUSTRALIA.
AUSTRALIA'S NOT A STATE.
DUH! BUT THAT'S
WHERE AUSSIE GETS
NATURAL STUFF FOR YOUR HAIR.
LIKE MANGO.
MMM!
AND KANGAROO PAW.
OUCH!
AND I BELIEVE
AUSSIE'S WHY MY HAIR
IS SO FULL OF LIFE AND SHINE.
AND AUSSIE DOESN'T TEST
ITS PRODUCTS ON ANIMALS.
Women:
UH-UH.
THAT'S MY PHILOSOPHY.
Women: AUSSIE!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE
THAN HAIR.
BUT IT'S A GOOD
PLACE TO START.
ü MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL ü
ü BEWITCH, BEJEWEL, BEDAZZLE ü
ü OH, WITH COLORS
  OUT OF FAIRY TALES ü
 ü SMOKY TOPAZ LIPS ü
 ü PEACOCK NAILS ü
ü PLUM FAIRY ü
ü IS IT TRUE ü
 ü OR MAGIC ü
ü UNDER THE SPELL OF YOU ü
ü ENCHANTED FACE
   ENCHANTED WORLD ü
ü EASY, BREEZY, BEAUTIFUL ü
ü COVER GIRL üü
 EVE: ARE YOU STILL SEEING
RYAN IN THE MIRROR?
 KEVIN: NO, I'M NOT.
 EVE: GOOD.
 KEVIN: I DON'T KNOW.
YOU HIDE.
I'LL FIND OUT WHO IT IS.
 EVE: OK.
 VICTOR: MONK, IT'S ME.
OPEN UP.
 KEVIN: VICTOR, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
 VICTOR: I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.
 KEVIN: I SAID YOU SHOULD
CALL.
 VICTOR: THE WAY YOUR VOICE
SOUNDED, I THOUGHT I SHOULD
COME.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
 KEVIN: I'M FINE.
 VICTOR: WELL, I'M GLAD
TO HEAR THAT.
EVE.
 EVE: HI.
 VICTOR: WHAT A STRANGE
FEELING
TO BE BACK HERE AFTER SO MANY
YEARS.
PLACE DOESN'T SEEM TO HAVE
CHANGED AT ALL, DOES IT?
 KEVIN: NO, IT HASN'T.
 EVE: I'M GOING TO LEAVE
YOU TWO ALONE.
EXCUSE ME.
 KEVIN: THANKS.
 VICTOR: I COULD NEVER BRING
MYSELF TO SELL THIS PLACE.
OF COURSE, I COULDN'T BRING
MYSELF TO VISIT IT,
EITHER, TILL TODAY.
YOUR MOTHER BOUGHT THIS VASE.
MARTHA'S VINEYARD.
IT WAS OUR FIFTH YEAR WEDDING
ANNIVERSARY.
SO MANY MEMORIES.
 KEVIN: YEAH, I HAVE A FEW
OF MY OWN.
 VICTOR: THAT'S ENOUGH
OF THE PAST.
MONK, YOU AND EVE HAVE TO GO
BACK TO PORT CHARLES
IMMEDIATELY.
 KEVIN: I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE
UNTIL YOU ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS.
 VICTOR: NOT MORE QUESTIONS.
 KEVIN: OH, YES.
VICTOR, DID RYAN AND I HAVE
A BROTHER OR A SISTER?
 VICTOR: WHERE DID YOU GET
AN IDEA LIKE THAT?
 KEVIN: ANSWER THE QUESTION.
I ASK YOU BECAUSE I REMEMBER
MOTHER HOLDING A BABY
AT THE PICNIC.
 VICTOR: THERE WAS A BABY
THERE, BUT HE WAS NO RELATION
TO ANY OF US.
 KEVIN: THEN, WHO?
 VICTOR: IT WAS YOUR MOTHER'S
FRIEND, MARCIA.
 KEVIN: YOUR MISTRESS.
 VICTOR: I WAS NOT THE FATHER,
BUT IT WAS HER CHILD.
 KEVIN: THEN WHY HIDE IT
FROM ME?
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
 VICTOR: BECAUSE MARCIA WAS
HOLDING THE BABY
WHEN YOU THREW THE KNIFE THAT
KILLED HER.
 JOE: KAREN, HEY.
LISTEN, I GOT TWO WORDS
FOR YOU -- NIAGARA FALLS.
 KAREN: NO GOING OVER
IN A BARREL.
THAT'S NOT MY IDEA OF
A HONEYMOON.
 JOE: WELL, WHAT FUN ARE YOU?
 KAREN: CALL ME OLD-FASHIONED.
 JOE: I WAS GOING TO SAY
I FOUND A CHAPEL FOR US TO GET
MARRIED IN.
IT'S CALLED ST. PETER'S
BY THE SEA.
I TALKED TO THE MINISTER THERE.
HE SAID HE COULD MARRY US
THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW AT 11:30.
ARE YOU -- ARE YOU HAVING SECOND
THOUGHTS ABOUT ELOPING?
 KAREN: I JUST KEEP THINKING
ABOUT HOW DISAPPOINTED
EVERYONE'S GOING TO BE.
 JOE: SO, THEY'LL LIVE.
I MEAN, THEY'LL GET OVER IT.
 KAREN: EVEN YOUR MOTHER?
 JOE: ALL RIGHT, I ADMIT THAT
HER FIRST INSTINCT WOULD
PROBABLY BE TO PULL OUT
A SHOTGUN.
BUT IF IT MEANS THAT YOU CAN BE
MY WIFE THAT MUCH SOONER,
I DON'T CARE.
IT'S WORTH IT.
 KAREN: I TOTALLY AGREE
WITH YOU.
I THINK PEOPLE PUT WAY TOO MUCH
EMPHASIS ON THE CEREMONY.
BUT TO ME, I THINK A WEDDING IS
ABOUT FAMILY.
AND I WANT THE PEOPLE THAT
I CARE ABOUT TO BE THERE.
I DON'T CARE IF IT'S
IN A CATHEDRAL
OR A BOWLING ALLEY
BUT I WANT MY FATHER TO WALK ME
DOWN THE AISLE AND GIVE ME AWAY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
 JOE: IF THAT'LL MAKE
YOU HAPPY, THEN YOU NAME
THE DATE, AND I'LL BE THERE.
I GOT TO TELL YOU -- I THINK
SCOTT'S GOING TO HATE THE IDEA
OF WEARING A MONKEY SUIT EVEN
MORE THAN ME.
 SCOTT: HEY, HEY, HEY.
STOP COUGHING ON ME.
 LUCY: I AM SORRY.
I HAVE NOT LEARNED THE ART
OF COUGHING WITH MY LIPS
COMPLETELY SEALED.
 SCOTT: WE HAVE TO FIGURE
A WAY TO GET OUT OF THESE CUFFS.
 LUCY: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU HAVE ABOUT RIPPED MY WHOLE
HAND OFF AT THE WRIST
FROM YOUR TRYING.
 SCOTT: QUIET. QUIET.
I'M TRYING TO THINK.
 LUCY: OH, I SEE.
SO NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME TO ZIP
IT, TOO.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
OH.
[LUCY COUGHS]
 SCOTT: WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU GOT TO MOVE SO I CAN GET
A BETTER LOOK HERE.
 LUCY: WHERE DO YOU WANT ME
TO GO?
NEVER MIND.
DON'T ANSWER THAT.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, ALREADY.
HOLD ON.
 SCOTT: JUST SLIDE UNDER
THERE.
 LUCY: I'M SLIDING.
 SCOTT: OW.
WHOA, OH.
AH-OH.
OH.
 LUCY: WELL, THIS IS A WHOLE
HECK OF A LOT BETTER.
 SCOTT: I NEVER THOUGHT I'D
END UP BACK IN BED WITH YOU.
 LUCY: WELL, TRUST ME, THIS IS
NOT A DAY IN MY DREAMS AT ALL.
GET OFF OF ME.
[EXPLOSION]
 LUCY: OH! OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOODNESS.
 SCOTT: THE GAS TANK MUST HAVE
BEEN FULL, LUCY.
 LUCY: SCOTT! LOOK!
THE CURTAINS!
THEY'RE ON FIRE!
 SCOTT: WE'RE ABOUT TO GO UP
IN SMOKE HERE.
UHHH...HELP...
NOW YOU WANT HELP?!