pc dec 29



 SERENA: THE ORNAMENTS LOOK
GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT.
 KAREN: THEY DO, DON'T THEY?
OH, LET'S SEE ABOUT THAT.
WELL --
 LEE: OH!
 SERENA: HOPE THAT WAS A REAL
COOKIE.
 KAREN: MADE IT MYSELF.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ONE.
 SERENA: OK.
 KAREN: BE SURE AND EAT THEM
SO GRANDPA DOESN'T EAT THEM
AND GET FAT.
 GAIL: AH!
 SERENA: IT'S A DIRTY JOB,
BUT SOMEBODY'S GOT TO DO IT.
 LEE: OH, THANK YOU.
 GAIL: LISTEN, WHEN DOES JOE
GET HERE?
 KAREN: OH, HE'S NOT COMING.
 LEE: WHY NOT?
 KAREN: BECAUSE HE TOOK
A LAST-MINUTE TRIP TO GREECE
WITH COURTNEY AND NEIL TO VISIT
NEIL'S GRANDPARENTS.
 GAIL: WELL, WHY DID JOE GO?
OH.
NEIL WASN'T FEELING VERY WELL?
 KAREN: NO, NO, NO.
NO, NEIL'S FINE.
HE JUST WANTED TO TAG ALONG.
YOU KNOW HOW JOE IS.
 LEE: YEAH, WELL,
WE THOUGHT WE --
I'M JUST SURPRISED THAT HE'D,
YOU KNOW, TAKE OFF FROM HIS JOB
ON SUCH A WHIM.
 KAREN: WELL, YOU KNOW,
A CHANGE OF SCENERY WILL DO HIM
GOOD.
 GAIL: I SEE.
 SERENA: I GUESS WE DIDN'T
NEED TO BRING THIS.
 KAREN: WHAT IS THAT?
 SERENA: MISTLETOE
FOR YOU AND JOE.
 JOE: COURTNEY, LOOK WHAT
I GOT.
 COURTNEY: OH, WHAT IS IT?
 JOE: IT'S CHRISTMAS DINNER,
THAT'S WHAT.
I PERCHED ON THAT ROCK
ON THE SHORE, AND I GRABBED
WITH MY BARE HANDS RIGHT OUT
OF THE WATER JUST LIKE A CAT
REACHING HIS PAW INTO
THE FISHBOWL.
NOW, ALL WE NEED TO DO IS GET
SOME WOOD SO WE CAN START
A FIRE.
 COURTNEY: GREAT,
GREAT, GREAT.
BUT FIRST --
 JOE: WHAT?
 COURTNEY: COME HERE,
COME HERE, COME HERE.
 JOE: WHAT?
WHAT IS THAT?
 COURTNEY: IT'S MISTLETOE.
 JOE: MISTLETOE?
THIS GROWS ON THE ISLAND, TOO?
 COURTNEY: YEAH.
ISN'T IT NEAT?
IT'S LIKE WE LEAPT BACK
THOUSANDS OF YEARS AND
YOU BECAME THE HUNTER
AND I BECAME THE GATHERER.
 JOE: THAT'S PRETTY PRIMITIVE,
ALL RIGHT.
 COURTNEY: WELL, I GUESS
OUR BASEST INSTINCTS ARE BOUND
TO SURFACE IN A SITUATION LIKE
THIS.
 JOE: OH. YEAH.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
NCI'S CORPORATE PARTNERS]
 JOE: MY YEARS OF SCOUTING
FINALLY PAID OFF.
 COURTNEY: WELL, I HOPE
YOU EARNED A MERIT BADGE
IN BUILDING CAMPFIRES.
 JOE: OBVIOUSLY NOT.
 COURTNEY: WELL, HERE, LET ME
TRY.
 JOE: IT'S NO USE.
THE WOOD'S TOO WET.
SO MUCH FOR OUR CHRISTMAS FEAST.
 COURTNEY: HEY, HEY, THE FEAST
IS STILL ON.
WE'RE GOING TO JUST CHANGE
THE MENU.
EVER HEARD OF SASHIMI?
 JOE: YEAH, AND I HATE IT.
BUT I GUESS DESPERATE TIMES CALL
FOR DESPERATE MEASURES.
ALL RIGHT.
WHERE'S THE SUSHI BAR?
 LEE: PASS THE CRACKERS.
 GAIL: OH, OF COURSE.
 SERENA: WHEN WILL DADDY
AND LUCY GET BACK?
SO WE CAN OPEN PRESENTS,
OF COURSE.
 LEE: THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.
 SERENA: WHERE ARE THEY?
 GAIL: WELL, THEY WENT TO HELP
KEVIN AND EVE WITH SOMETHING.
 KAREN: AND THEY SAID THAT
IF THEY GET HERE LATE, WE SHOULD
START OPENING PRESENTS
WITHOUT THEM.
 GAIL: RIGHT, RIGHT.
 SERENA: OH, OK.
HEY, I WONDER IF IT'S SNOWING
OUTSIDE.
 KAREN: HMM.
 GAIL: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR COAT
ON AND GO OUT AND SEE.
AND BRING US THE REPORT,
WILL YOU?
 SERENA: OK.
 GAIL: OK, GREAT.
 KAREN: I HOPE WE CAN KEEP
HER DISTRACTED.
 GAIL: HMM.
 LEE: WELL, HAVE YOU HEARD
FROM SCOTT?
 GAIL: YEAH.
DO THEY KNOW WHERE COOPER
AND JULIE TOOK KEVIN AND EVE?
 KAREN: I DON'T KNOW.
I HAVEN'T HEARD A WORD.
ALL I KNOW IS THAT I PROMISED
SCOTT WE WOULD MAKE THIS DAY
VERY SPECIAL FOR SERENA.
 GAIL: AND YOU ARE, YOU ARE.
 LEE: YEAH.
HEY.
 GAIL: OH, WELL, WHAT'S
YOUR REPORT, HUH?
 SERENA: UM --
IT'S NOT SNOWING OUTSIDE,
BUT THAT'S OK.
DADDY WILL GET HERE QUICKER
IF IT'S NOT SNOWING OUTSIDE.
 GAIL: THAT'S TRUE.
 LEE: THAT'S RIGHT.
 KAREN: HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.
LET'S OPEN OUR PRESENTS!
 GAIL: OH, OH!
OK, YOU, TWO.
 LEE: IS THAT A PICTURE, HUH?
 GAIL: WELL, IS THAT
A PICTURE.
 LEE: WAIT.
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
 GAIL: WHAT'S ALL THAT
GIGGLING?
 LEE: WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING
ABOUT?
 GAIL: WHAT'S THAT GIGGLING?
 LEE: OH.
 KAREN: NOTHING.
 SERENA: OPEN IT.
 GAIL: OH!
 LEE: ME OPEN IT?
 GAIL: OPEN IT, OPEN IT,
OPEN IT.
I CAN'T WAIT.
SHOW ME, SHOW ME.
WHAT IS IT?
 LEE: WHAT IS IT?
 GAIL: OH, NO.
OH, LOOK!
OH!
 LEE: BEAUTIFUL.
 GAIL: IT'S WONDERFUL!
 LEE: WHERE DID YOU GET THAT
GORGEOUS FRAME?
 GAIL: OH!
 SERENA: I MADE IT.
 LEE: YOU DID?
 SERENA: SEE HOW IT'S
YOUR FAVORITE COLOR, GRANDMA?
 GAIL: OH, SWEETHEART, IT IS.
IT IS.
THIS IS GORGEOUS.
 SERENA: YOU SEE HOW I WROTE
IN CURSIVE, GRANDPA?
 LEE: "WE LOVE YOU,
GRANDMA AND GRANDPA."
WELL, WE LOVE YOU, TOO SO VERY
MUCH.
 GAIL: OH, WE DO.
YES, WE DO.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
 MATT: HEY, HEY, BEAUTIFUL.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY
FOR YOURSELF ON THIS FINE
CHRISTMAS DAY?
 ELLEN: BAH, HUMBUG.
WHAT'S NEW WITH YOU?
 MATT: WHAT'S NEW?
HMM.
SHOULDN'T YOU REPHRASE THAT?
 ELLEN: HOW MANY DIFFERENT
WAYS CAN YOU SAY "WHAT'S NEW?"
 MATT: WELL, TRY
 HABARI GANI.
 ELLEN: DO YOU KNOW SWAHILI?
 MATT: I AM A VERITABLE
DICTIONARY OF MULTICULTURAL
GREETINGS.
 ELLEN: OK, SMARTY PANTS.
SAY "MERRY CHRISTMAS"
IN CHINESE.
 MATT: SHENGDAN KUAILE.
 ELLEN: WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU KNEW I WAS GOING TO ASK THAT
BECAUSE I LOVE MY VEGGIE MU SHU.
RUSSIAN.
 MATT: S NAUPALVIM NOVIM.
 ELLEN: HAWAIIAN.
 MATT: OH, THAT'S EASY.
 MELE KALIKIMAKA.
 ELLEN: I'M IMPRESSED.
IMPRESSIVE, YEAH.
BUT FOR ALL I KNOW, YOU COULD
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING GOBBLEDYGOOK,
BUT I'M STILL IMPRESSED.
 MATT: OH, COME ON.
I DID SOME LAST-MINUTE CRAMMING.
 ELLEN: LET'S SEE.
"HOW TO SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS
IN 26 LANGUAGES."
OH, COME ON.
WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE IN THERE?
BOOTS.
OK, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
 MATT: WELL, HANUKKAH JUST
ENDED.
CHRISTMAS IS TODAY.
KWANZAA STARTS TOMORROW.
SO I CAME PREPARED TO CELEBRATE
THEM ALL AND WHATEVER ELSE.
 ELLEN: AND EXACTLY WHAT
INSPIRED THIS EXPANSIVE VISION
OF THE HOLIDAYS?
 MATT: WELL, YOU KNOW,
OUR SCARE WITH THE VIRUS HIT ME
AND MADE ME REALIZE A COUPLE
OF THINGS.
FIRST, I'M DAMN HAPPY TO HAVE
YOU AROUND, ALTHOUGH THAT'S TRUE
EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR.
AND SECOND, I MEAN, BEING STUCK
IN A HOSPITAL IS KIND OF A DRAG.
 ELLEN: I CAN'T ARGUE
WITH THAT.
 MATT: BUT, SEE, A LOT
OF OUR PATIENTS ARE FAR
FROM HOME, SO I RESEARCHED HOW
THEIR CULTURES CELEBRATE
CHRISTMAS.
NOW, THE FATHER CHRISTMAS
BOOTS -- THOSE ARE FOR THE TWO
ARGENTINIAN KIDS IN PEDIATRICS.
THEY PUT THE BOOTS OUTSIDE
THEIR DOOR ON CHRISTMAS DAY.
 ELLEN: I LOVE IT.
 MATT: OH, AND I STOPPED
BY THE EGYPTIAN BAKERY TO PICK
UP SOME KAKI.
 ELLEN: OH, FOR MR. FARAH
IN THE CARDIAC UNIT?
 MATT: YEAH.i
 ELLEN: OK.
WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE IN THERE?
COME ON.
 MATT: OH, WELL, PLENTY,
THOUGH SOME OF THIS STUFF IS
ACTUALLY FOR US.
 ELLEN: A KINARA?
 MATT: YEAH.
SEE, AND WE -- WE GET TO LIGHT
THE FIRST CANDLE TOMORROW
FOR KWANZAA.
 ELLEN: MATT, THE
FIRST DAY OF KWANZAA IS UMOJA,
AND IT MEANS "UNITY."
I THINK WE HAVE A LOT OF THAT
TO CELEBRATE.
 MATT: FOR YEARS TO COME,
I HOPE.
 ELLEN: HEY, I WOULD BE
AN IDIOT IF I LET A MAN LIKE
YOU GET AWAY FROM ME.
BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE MISSING
ONE THING.
 MATT: YEAH? WHAT'S THAT?
 ELLEN: YOUR BASIC
OLD-FASHIONED SANTA SUIT.
WHAT, YOU GOT SOMETHING AGAINST
TRADITIONALISTS?
 MATT: AH.
DIDN'T THE HOSPITAL HIRE
SOMEBODY FOR THAT GIG?
 ELLEN: OOH, YEAH --
EDWARD QUARTERMAINE.
YEAH.
CAN YOU IMAGINE?
SCROOGE PLAYS KRISS KRINGLE.
 MATT: HMM.
 ELLEN: AH, WHO KNOWS?
MAYBE THE REAL SANTA WILL SHOW
UP.
 MATT: WELL, DON'T HOLD
YOUR BREATH.
[BELLS RING]
 SANTA: HO, HO, HO, HO!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
HO, HO, HO, HO!
NOW IS THE BEST TIME TO BUY
AT SEARS.
INCREDIBLE DEALS
ON THINGS YOU REALLY WANT.
LIKE THICK AND THIRSTY TOWELS,
JUST 2 FOR $5.
NO ONE HAS BIGGER DEALS
IN MORE DEPARTMENTS.
SEARS IS THE PLACE.
NOW IS THE BEST TIME TO BUY.
||GFUNDAMENTALS OF BASEBALL?
BE A TEAM PLAYER.
YES.
KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL.
YES.
NEVER PLAY
WITHOUT A CONTRACT.
 THE HERSHEY BAR.
S=..msMsA
WHOA! REMEMBER
THIS PLACE
AND THOSE
MIDNIGHT SNACKS?
HI, GUYS.
Both: MINDY!
LET'S HAVE 2 DOGS
WITH THE WORKS.
HEY, I CAN'T HAVE
ONE OF THOSE NOW.
WATCHING YOUR FIGURE?
NO, I DIDN'T
TAKE MY PEPCID AC
AND IT'S TOO LATE NOW.
TAKE MY TAGAMET--
YOU CAN EAT NOW.
 TAGAMET INTRODUCES A BETTER
 WAY TO AVOID HEARTBURN.
 NOT BEFORE, NOT AFTER--NOW!
 NOW YOU CAN TAKE TAGAMET
 RIGHT WHEN YOU'RE GONNA EAT
 AND STILL PREVENT HEARTBURN.
MINDY?
YOU TWO...BACK AGAIN?
Both: MINDY!
 WITH TAGAMET,
 YOU CAN EAT
 LIKE A KID AGAIN.
 SERENA: HERE'S ONE FOR YOU,
KAREN.
 KAREN: THANK YOU.
 SERENA: AND IT'S FROM GRANDMA
AND GRANDPA.
 KAREN: THAT'S RIGHT.
 GAIL: AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE
IT, JUST TAKE IT BACK.
 KAREN: OK.
 SERENA: HERE'S ONE TO ME
FROM DADDY AND LUCY.
I THINK I'M GOING TO KEEP IT
UNDERNEATH THE TREE UNTIL
THEY'RE BACK.
 LEE: YEAH.
 SERENA: HERE'S ONE FROM YOU,
KAREN, TO JOE.
 KAREN: YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S WAIT TILL HE GETS BACK,
TOO.
WHY DON'T YOU KEEP THAT UNDER
THE TREE.
 SERENA: I THINK I'LL LEAVE
NEIL'S HERE, TOO.
HEY, KAREN,
WHERE'S YOUR PRESENT FROM JOE?
 KAREN: OH.
I DON'T THINK HE KNEW HE WAS
GOING TO BE GONE FOR CHRISTMAS,
SO MAYBE HE'S GOING TO BRING ME
BACK SOMETHING FROM GREECE.
 GAIL: YES, YES.
MAYBE A STRING OF PEARLS.
 KAREN: YES!
 LEE: I WAS THINKING T-SHIRT.
 GAIL: MEN.
 KAREN: OH.
 SERENA: HERE'S A PRETTY
PACKAGE.
"TO ALICE FROM KAREN."
 KAREN: OH, MY GOSH.
THAT'S ELLEN'S MOTHER.
SHE LIVES UPSTAIRS.
I FORGOT TO GIVE HER
HER PRESENT.
 GAIL: OH.
 SERENA: HEY, WHY DON'T
WE JUST TAKE IT TO HER RIGHT
NOW.
 KAREN: YOU ARE
A GOOD SANTA.
 GAIL: WELL?
 LEE: DON'T ASK ME.
 GAIL: WELL, I HAVE TO ASK
SOMEBODY, EVEN IF IT'S
RHETORICAL.
I MEAN, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES,
WHAT IS JOE DOING GOING OFF
TO GREECE AT CHRISTMAS?
 LEE: TO GREECE WITH --
WITH COURTNEY WHEN HE OUGHT
TO BE WITH KAREN.
 GAIL: I KNOW.
THERE IS SOMETHING ROTTEN
IN THE STATE OF DENMARK.
 LEE: OR IN GREECE.
 COURTNEY: WELL, FOR SOMEONE
WHO DOESN'T EAT RAW FISH,
YOU CERTAINLY ATE YOUR SHARE.
 JOE: WELL, WHERE'S
THE PUMPKIN PIE?
 COURTNEY: OH, SORRY.
THE STOVE BROKE.
 JOE: SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW,
SING CHRISTMAS CAROLS?
 COURTNEY: NO.
I SAY WE MOVE STRAIGHT
TO THE GIFT EXCHANGE.
 JOE: GIFT EXCHANGE?
 COURTNEY: YES.
NOW, CLOSE YOUR EYES.
HOLD OUT YOUR HAND.
OK. OPEN THEM.
 JOE: WOW.
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
I'VE NEVER SEEN COLORS LIKE THIS
BEFORE IN A SHELL.
 COURTNEY: YEAH.
IT'S A SOUVENIR OF OUR CHRISTMAS
ON THE BEACH.
 JOE: ASSUMING WE EVER GET OUT
OF HERE.
 COURTNEY: HEY!
HEY, I'M AN OPTIMIST, REMEMBER?
 JOE: WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.
 COURTNEY: BEING A REALIST
MAKES MORE SENSE, BUT BEING
AN OPTIMIST MAKES YOU FEEL
BETTER.
 JOE: YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THIS IS TERRIFIC.
ALL RIGHT, YOUR TURN.
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
 COURTNEY: MY TURN?
 JOE: YES.
 COURTNEY: OK.
 JOE: KEEP THEM CLOSED.
PUT YOUR HANDS OUT.
TURN THEM UP.
ALL RIGHT, OPEN.
 COURTNEY: OH!
JOE, YOU FOUND A WALNUT TREE.
 JOE: YES, AND THEY ARE GOOD
FOR YOU.
THEY ARE FULL OF OMEGA-3 FATTY
ACIDS.
 COURTNEY: AND CALORIES.
 JOE: I DON'T THINK WE NEED
TO WORRY ABOUT OVEREATING THIS
HOLIDAY.
 COURTNEY: THE GREEKS,
THEY PUT WALNUTS ON EVERYTHING.
THEY PUT THEM ON SALADS
AND DESSERTS AND --
 JOE: AND THAT'S WHY THEY'RE
SO ROBUST.
THEY GOT WALNUTS, FISH,
OLIVES -- EVERYTHING THAT'S GOOD
FOR THE HEART.
 COURTNEY: SO IS BEING
WITH SOMEONE YOU'RE FOND OF.
 JOE: TRUE.
 COURTNEY: I'D GIVE ANYTHING
TO SPEND CHRISTMAS WITH NEIL,
BUT IF I HAVE TO BE SHIPWRECKED
WITH SOMEONE, I'M GLAD IT'S
WITH YOU.
 JOE: YOU'RE NOT SO BAD
YOURSELF.
 COURTNEY: PENNY FOR
YOUR THOUGHTS.
 JOE: I WAS JUST THINKING
ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID.
AND --
FORGET IT. I --
 COURTNEY: JOE, YOU'RE
THE FATHER OF MY CHILD.
YOU CAN ASK ME ANYTHING.
 JOE: YOU SEE THIS STONE?
 COURTNEY: YEAH, IT'S
HEART-SHAPED.
IT'S SWEET.
 JOE: I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU THINK IT WOULD MAKE
A GOOD NECKLACE FOR KAREN WHEN
WE GET BACK.
 COURTNEY: THAT'S WHAT
YOU WANTED TO ASK ME?
 JOE: YEAH.
I'M TRYING TO BE AN OPTIMIST,
LIKE YOU SAID.
I MEAN, I HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT
I'M GOING TO BE WITH KAREN
AGAIN.
 SANTA: AND WHAT'S YOUR NAME,
LITTLE MISSY?
 GIRL: ANGELA.
 SANTA: ANGELA.
NOW, HOW DID I KNOW YOU WERE
GOING TO SAY THAT?
AN ANGEL FOR ANGELA.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!
OH!
AND, YOU, SIR.
HOW ABOUT A PAIR OF NICE WARM
SOCKS?
 MAN: HOW DID YOU KNOW MY FEET
ARE ALWAYS COLD?
 SANTA: WELL, SANTA KNOWS
EVERYTHING.
THERE YOU GO.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!
 MATT: WELL, WHOEVER HE IS,
HE'S GOOD.
 ELLEN: YEAH, TOO GOOD.
HOW DOES HE KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT
OUR PATIENTS?
 SANTA: WHAT DO YOU SAY,
YOUNG MAN?
 BOY: NOSE.
 SANTA: "NOSE"!
VERY GOOD!
OH, THAT'S GOOD!
HERE YOU GO.
THIS IS FOR YOU.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
NOW, RUN ALONG TO YOUR MOMMY.
 ELLEN: OH!
 CHRIS: MERRY CHRISTMAS,
ONE AND ALL.
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FOR WHITER TEETH, WHAT MAKES
AQUAFRESH WHITENING
SO SPECIAL?
ONLY A
QUAFRESH WHITENING
HAS A PATENTED
TRICLENE FORMULA
TO GET TEETH WHITER.
CREST DOESN'T HAVE IT.
NEITHER DOES COLGATE.
AQUAFRESH WHITENING.
FOR DAZZLING, WHITER TEETH.
I'M SO CLOGGED UP.
I JUST CAN'T FOCUS.
YOU OKAY?
NO...IF THIS MEETING
DOESN'T GO WELL...
IT'S ALL THAT WORK WASTED.
YOU'VE GOTTA
STAY FOCUSED.
I'LL FIND A WAY.
 CLEAR THE CONGESTION
 WITH TAVIST-D.
 PRESCRIPTION
 STRENGTH.
 JUST ONE GIVES YOU 12 HOURS
 OF UNINTERRUPTED RELIEF.
 TO GET THAT, YOU'D NEED
 FOUR TYLENOL COLD PILLS.
 TAVIST-D CLEARS YOUR CONGESTION
 SO YOU'RE CLEAR-HEADED AGAIN.
 WHY BE CONGESTED?
 BE CLEAR-HEADED,
 CLEAR THROUGH YOUR DAY
 WITH TAVIST-D.
 KAREN: SORRY TO LEAVE
YOU GUYS ALONE SO LONG.
ALICE IS UPSTAIRS SHOWING SERENA
HOW TO MAKE POMANDER BALLS.
 GAIL: OH.
 KAREN: WHAT'S WRONG?
 LEE: NOTHING.
IS THERE, HONEY?
 GAIL: NO, NO, NOTHING.
NOTHING -- NOTHING'S WRONG
WITH US.
 LEE: NO.
 KAREN: GO AHEAD AND ASK.
 LEE: ASK WHAT?
 KAREN: ASK WHY JOE WENT
TO GREECE SO SUDDENLY WITH NEIL
AND COURTNEY.
 LEE: NOW, THAT'S NONE
OF OUR BUSINESS --
 GAIL: NO.
 LEE: UNLESS, OF COURSE,
YOU WANT TO TELL US JUST
FOR THE HECK OF IT.
 GAIL: AND IF YOU DID,
WE'D LOVE TO HEAR.
 KAREN: FIRST OF ALL, JOE DID
NOT GO WITH NEIL AND COURTNEY
TO GREECE.
HE WENT WITH COURTNEY TO LOOK
FOR NEIL.
HE WAS TAKEN BY HIS GRANDPARENTS
WITHOUT PERMISSION.
 GAIL: YOU MEAN THEY STOLE
HIM?
 KAREN: YEAH. THEY DID.
 LEE: WELL, THEN, WE CAN
HARDLY BEGRUDGE JOE FOR BEING
ABSENT FROM YOU UNDER THOSE
CIRCUMSTANCES.
 GAIL: IT WAS AWFULLY GOOD
OF JOE TO GO TO SO MUCH TROUBLE
TO TRY AND HELP COURTNEY
IF YOU DIDN'T MIND.
 KAREN: WELL, HE DIDN'T DO IT
JUST TO HELP COURTNEY.
JOE WENT TO LOOK FOR NEIL
BECAUSE NEIL IS HIS SON.
 LEE: HIS -- HIS WHAT?
 GAIL: WHAT?
 KAREN: JOE AND COURTNEY WERE
INVOLVED WITH EACH OTHER A VERY
LONG TIME AGO, AND SOON AFTER
THEY BROKE UP, COURTNEY FOUND
OUT THAT SHE WAS PREGNANT,
AND SHE NEVER TOLD JOE.
 GAIL: WELL, WHEN DID JOE FIND
OUT?
 KAREN: WELL, HE FOUND OUT
JUST RECENTLY WHEN HIS LEGAL
FATHER CAME BACK INTO TOWN
TO TRY TO TAKE NEIL.
 GAIL: AND THEN JOHN KANELOS
WAS KILLED.
 KAREN: THAT'S RIGHT.
AND THEN HIS PARENTS CAME
TO TOWN AND SNATCHED NEIL
FROM THE SCANLON HOUSE.
 LEE: WELL, HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT JOE HAVING A SON?
 KAREN: WELL, I GREW UP
WITHOUT A FATHER.
I MEAN, I CAN'T IN GOOD
CONSCIENCE DEPRIVE NEIL
OF HIS FATHER.
AND IT'S NOT HARD TO LOVE HIM.
HE REMINDS ME OF JOE.
I JUST WISH THIS WHOLE SITUATION
WAS RESOLVED SO JOE AND NEIL
AND I CAN SPEND CHRISTMASES
TOGETHER FOR THE REST
OF OUR LIVES.
 GAIL: HMM.
 JOE: YOU KNOW, THEY SAY
PEOPLE GET DEPRESSED AROUND
THE HOLIDAYS.
WITH EXPECTATIONS THAT HIGH,
I GUESS THEY'RE BOUND TO GET
DISAPPOINTED.
AND I CAN TELL YOU, WHEN I GET
BACK, I WILL NEVER BE LET DOWN
AGAIN.
I'LL BE TOO DAMN GLAD TO BE
ALIVE.
COURTNEY?
YOU OK?
 COURTNEY: FINE.
NEVER BEEN BETTER.
 JOE: HEY, I DIDN'T MEAN
TO SCARE YOU.
WE WILL GET OFF THIS ISLAND
ALIVE.
TOMORROW, THE WOOD WILL BE DRY
ENOUGH FOR A FIRE AND --
 COURTNEY: JOE, JOE --
IT'S NOT THAT.
I MISS NEIL.
 JOE: I KNOW.
 COURTNEY: HE HAS TO BE
WONDERING WHY I HAVEN'T CALLED
HIM.
AND THE KANELOSES -- THEY MAY
HAVE TOLD HIM THAT I DON'T CARE.
 JOE: THE KANELOSES DEFINITELY
AREN'T YOUR FRIENDS.
BUT I CAN PROMISE YOU ONE
THING -- THAT THEY DO LOVE NEIL
AND THEY WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING
TO INTENTIONALLY HURT HIM.
 COURTNEY: I DON'T KNOW WHAT
ANYONE WOULD OR WOULDN'T DO
ANYMORE.
ALL I KNOW IS THAT I LOVE MY SON
AND I WANT TO BE WITH HIM.
 JOE: HEY.
LOOK ME IN THE EYE.
REPEAT AFTER ME.
HEY.
"I, COURTNEY, AM AN OPTIMIST."
 COURTNEY: I'M NOT, JOE.
I'M A FRAUD.
I'M A -- I'M THE QUEEN PESSIMIST
OF ALL PESSIMISTS.
 JOE: HEY! STOP IT!
"I, COURTNEY, AM AN OPTIMIST."
 COURTNEY: WHY DON'T YOU JUST
FACE IT?
NO ONE'S GOING TO SAVE US.
EVENTUALLY, WE'LL SEE A SHIP OUT
THERE IN THE DISTANCE,
AND WE WILL SWIM FRANTICALLY
TO MEET IT, WATCH IT CHANGE
COURSE, AND BECOME SHARK BAIT.
 JOE: "I, COURTNEY,
AM AN OPTIMIST."
 COURTNEY: YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO GIVE UP, ARE YOU?
 JOE: "I, COURTNEY --"
 JOE and COURTNEY: "AM
AN OPTIMIST."
 JOE: THANK YOU.
"I WILL GROW TO BE OLD
WITH MY ONLY THING TO WORRY
ABOUT IS THAT MY SON,
NEIL, DOESN'T VISIT ME ENOUGH."
 COURTNEY: "I WILL GROW TO BE
OLD --"
 JOE: AH!
EXCUSE ME, I'M NOT DONE.
"DOESN'T VISIT ME ENOUGH
BECAUSE HE IS AN INCREDIBLY BUSY
NBA SUPERSTAR WITH FOUR KIDS."
 COURTNEY: GOSH, I JUST LOVE
YOU, JOE.
 JOE: WELL, WHAT'S NOT
TO LOVE?
 COURTNEY: NO, I -- I MEAN IT.
I LOVE YOU.
 JOE: COURTNEY --
 COURTNEY: NO.
NO, LISTEN TO ME.
I HAVE NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU,
NOT ONCE IN ALL THE YEARS WE'VE
BEEN APART.
NO ONE COULD EVER TAKE
YOUR PLACE -- NOT JOHN,
NOT ANYONE.
THERE IS ONLY ONE MAN FOR ME,
JOE,
AND IT'S YOU.
 JOE: I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO SAY.
 COURTNEY: SAY YOU FEEL
THE SAME WAY.
 JOE: LOOK, THE TIME THAT
WE SPENT TOGETHER AS A COUPLE,
THE CHILD WE CREATED -- THESE
THINGS ARE SACRED TO ME.
BUT, COURTNEY, I LOVE KAREN
WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL.
SHE IS ALL THERE IS FOR ME.
 COURTNEY: HOW -- HOW CAN
YOU BE SURE?
YOU KNOW, MAYBE IF YOU JUST --
IF YOU JUST KISSED ME,
IF YOU JUST HELD ME, YOU WOULD
SEE THAT THERE WAS STILL A SPARK
BETWEEN US, JOE.
 JOE: HONEY, I WOULD NEVER DO
ANYTHING TO HURT KAREN, EVER.
 COURTNEY: WELL, JUST MY LUCK.
I FALL FOR A GUY WITH SCRUPLES,
HUH?
 CHRIS: I KNOW I'M NOT
SUPPOSED TO BE HERE, BUT IT
BEATS SPENDING CHRISTMAS ALONE.
 MATT: YOU'RE AFRAID THAT
THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST IS
GOING TO HAUNT YOU,
CHRIS, FOR CAUSING TWO PEOPLE
TO DIE BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID
EXPERIMENTS?
 CHRIS: I NEVER MEANT
FOR ANYONE TO DIE, OK?
NOW, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT,
I'M NOT SCROOGE.
I'M NOT THE DEVIL.
I'M JUST A DOCTOR WHO MADE
A MISTAKE, OK?
AND NOW I HAVE TO LIVE
WITH IT.
 NURSE: EXCUSE ME.
THE CHILDREN IN THE AIDS WARD
HEARD THAT SANTA WAS HERE,
AND THEY BEGGED ME TO COME
AND GET YOU.
 CHRIS: OH.
I'M SORRY.
LOOKS LIKE SANTA'S OFF-DUTY.
 NURSE: OH, THAT'S SUCH
A SHAME.
OK.
 CHRIS: YOU KNOW, I REALLY
JUST CAME DOWN HERE TO MAKE
A FEW SICK PEOPLE HAPPY,
BUT, HERE, YOU PASS IT OUT.
 ELLEN: NOT SO FAST.
YOU'VE GOT WORK TO DO.
 CHRIS: YOU REALLY DON'T MIND?
 ELLEN: YOU KNOW,
CHRIS, WHAT WE MIND IS THAT
YOUR REAL GIFT, YOUR BRILLIANCE
AS A DOCTOR, IS WASTED
ON SELFISH PURSUITS, UP UNTIL
NOW.
JUST THINK WHAT YOU COULD BE
ACCOMPLISHING IF YOU PUT THEM
TO GOOD USE.
["SANTA CLAUS
IS COMING TO TOWN" PLAYS]
 CHRIS: MERRY CHRISTMAS.
MEY CHRISTMAS!
HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!
HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!