pc jan 10 1999

 EVE: ASK ME IF I'M HAPPY THAT
YOU WANTED ME TO COME BACK.
 KEVIN: AREN'T YOU HAPPY
I CONVINCED YOU TO COME BACK?
 EVE: YES, I AM.
THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
WELL, I THOUGHT MAYBE A WAITER,
CATERER, YOU KNOW, MUSICIANS
WOULD BE A LITTLE MUCH,
BUT AFTER OUR LAST FOUR-STAR
DINNER AT HOME, I THOUGHT IT
WENT PRETTY WELL.
 KEVIN: NOT BAD.
THIS IS FOR YOU.
ONE OF YOUR MANY ADMIRERS,
MAYBE?
 EVE: "DR. LAMBERT, WE DIDN'T
KNOW WHEN YOU WOULD RETURN.
I SENT THE MUSICIANS
AND THE WAITER HOME.
FOOD IS READY TO GO
IN THE FRIDGE.
SET THE OVEN TO 325."
I GUESS WE'RE ON OUR OWN.
 KEVIN: OH, NO.
WELL, HOW GOOD ARE YOU
AT HEATING THINGS UP?
 EVE: BETWEEN THE TWO OF US,
I THINK WE CAN COME UP
WITH SOMETHING.
 FRANK: KAREN, YOU'LL NEVER
BELIEVE WHO I JUST GOT OFF
THE PHONE WITH.
 KAREN: WHO?
 FRANK: MY MOTHER.
 KAREN: THEY HAVE PHONES
IN THE POCONOS, DON'T THEY?
 FRANK: THEY HAVE THEM
IN GREECE, TOO.
 KAREN: WAIT -- SHE'S
IN GREECE?
 FRANK: WITH VICTOR.
 KAREN: WHAT IS SHE DOING
THERE?
 FRANK: WHAT ELSE -- LOOKING
FOR JOE.
SHE CALLED THE AMERICAN
CONSULATE A FEW DAYS AGO
AND FOUND OUT THAT JOE
AND COURTNEY HAVE BEEN CHARGED
WITH SMUGGLING.
 KAREN: SMUGGLING?
SMUGGLING WHAT?
 FRANK: STOLEN JEWELRY.
 KAREN: WHY DIDN'T MARY TELL
US THIS BEFORE?
 FRANK: SHE DIDN'T WANT
TO WORRY ME WHEN I WAS
IN QUARANTINE.
 KAREN: WHAT ABOUT JOE?
IS HE IN JAIL?
 FRANK: NO.
 KAREN: WHERE IS HE?
 FRANK: KAREN, THERE'S
SPECULATION THAT JOE
AND COURTNEY STOWED AWAY
ON A SHIP THAT WENT DOWN
IN A STORM OFF THE COAST.
 KAREN: ARE THERE ANY
SURVIVORS?
 FRANK: YES, BUT
THEY HAVEN'T FOUND JOE
OR COURTNEY.
 COURTNEY: THERE YOU GO,
TRYING TO HOLD MY HAND AGAIN.
 JOE: YOU WISH.
SEE, YOUR PULSE IS MUCH BETTER,
BUT YOU WERE IN A DEEP SLEEP.
YOU KNOW, I WAS STARTING
TO WORRY.
ARE YOU FEELING BETTER?
 COURTNEY: WELL, THE PAIN
FROM WHATEVER STUNG ME IS ALMOST
GONE.
 JOE: I THOUGHT I WAS GOING
TO LOSE YOU.
 COURTNEY: WELL, NO SUCH LUCK.
YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME.
 JOE: I COULDN'T HELP
BUT THINK ABOUT WHAT WE USED
TO HAVE OR WHAT WE MEANT TO EACH
OTHER.
 COURTNEY: I'VE NEVER STOPPED
THINKING ABOUT THAT.
 JOE: SOMETIMES IT TAKES A GUY
A WHILE TO CATCH UP.
 JOE: THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
I CAN THINK OF TO MAKE SURE
I NEVER LOSE YOU.
COURTNEY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
NCI'S CORPORATE PARTNERS]
 JOE: IF YOU SAY YES TO ME,
YOU WILL MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN
YOU'LL EVER KNOW.
PLEASE.
PLEASE MARRY ME.
 COURTNEY: YES.
YES.
WITH ALL MY HEART, YES.
 JOE: SEE, I DON'T WANT
TO WAIT TILL WE GET OFF THIS
ISLAND TO MAKE YOU MY WIFE.
 COURTNEY: I DON'T SEE HOW
YOU CAN MARRY ME HERE, JOE.
IT'S OK.
I CAN WAIT. I CAN WAIT.
 JOE: I CAN'T WAIT.
I DON'T NEED A CHURCH OR A PIECE
OF PAPER TO MARRY YOU.
IN THE EYES OF GOD, RIGHT HERE,
RIGHT NOW, WE CAN COMMIT
OURSELVES TO EACH OTHER.
 COURTNEY: OK, I CAN HANDLE
THAT.
 JOE: DO YOU, COURTNEY,
TAKE ME, JOSEPH,
TO LIVE WITH AS YOUR
LOVING HUSBAND,
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD?
 COURTNEY: I DO.
DO YOU, JOSEPH,
TAKE ME, COURTNEY,
TO LIVE WITH AS YOUR
LOVING WIFE,
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD FROM THIS
DAY FORWARD?
 KAREN: JOE, WHAT THE HELL DO
YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
 JOE: KAREN.
 FRANK: YOU CAN'T MARRY
COURTNEY.
YOU'RE ENGAGED TO KAREN.
 KAREN: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS
TO ME?
 JOE: KAREN, I'VE BEEN IN LOVE
WITH COURTNEY LONG BEFORE I EVER
KNEW YOU.
 FRANK: COURTNEY CHEATED
ON YOU THE ENTIRE TIME SHE WAS
WITH YOU.
 COURTNEY: I -- I WAS
CONFUSED.
 JOE: CONFUSED?
WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
 KAREN: IF YOU THINK YOU'RE
GETTING JOE, THEN YOU STILL ARE.
 FRANK: JOE, I HAVE SLEPT
WITH YOUR BRIDE-TO-BE MORE TIMES
THAN YOU HAVE.
 JOE: COURTNEY, IS THAT TRUE?
 COURTNEY: I DIDN'T ENJOY IT.
NO, NO, NO, JOE, JOE, IT'S NOT
TRUE.
HE'S LYING.
HE IS LYING.
HE IS LYING!
HE'S LYING!
HE'S LYING!
I DIDN'T DO IT, JOE.
I DIDN'T DO IT.
 JOE: HEY, HEY, HEY.
LISTEN TO ME -- HEY, TRY NOT
TO SPEAK, ALL RIGHT?
YOU'RE TRYING TO BREAK A HIGH
FEVER.
COURTNEY, HANG IN THERE.
 COURTNEY: YOU WON'T BELIEVE
FRANK.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE HIM,
WILL YOU, JOE?
I WANTED TO MARRY YOU, JOE.
I ALWAYS HAVE.
 EVE: OH, MY GOODNESS.
I KNOW THAT YOU AND VICTOR DON'T
EAT OFF OF PAPER PLATES
OR ANYTHING, BUT THIS CHINA IS
ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.
 KEVIN: WELL, THANK YOU.
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I NEVER
ACTUALLY NOTICED.
I ALWAYS LEFT THE HOME
FURNISHING UP TO LUCY.
 EVE: OH, RIGHT.
SURE. THAT MAKES SENSE.
SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT THAT
WOMAN, SHE HAS GREAT TASTE
IN CHINA.
 KEVIN: WELL, ENOUGH OF THAT.
HOW ABOUT A TOAST?
 EVE: YES.
 KEVIN: LET'S RAISE
OUR GLASSES TO NOVELS BASED
ON MILDER SUBJECT MATTER.
 EVE: AND MAY PORT CHARLES
ADOPT LAWS PROHIBITING THE SALE
OF STRAITJACKETS AND QUICK-DRY
MORTAR TO PARANOID DELUSIONALS.
 KEVIN: YOU KNOW, I WROTE
MY CONGRESSMAN ABOUT THAT.
 EVE: GOOD.
 KEVIN: HAVEN'T HEARD BACK
YET.
 EVE: I THINK THE ONLY THING
WE NEED NOW IS STROLLING
VIOLINIST.
HEY, WHERE ARE YOUR C.D.s?
 KEVIN: RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
 EVE: EXCUSE ME.
LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE HERE.
HMM.
BAROQUE, ANYONE?
MY GOODNESS, THERE'S ENOUGH BACH
HERE TO CHOKE A HORSE.
 KEVIN: YES, THOSE WOULD BE
LUCY'S.
SHE AND JOHANN SEBASTIAN GO WAY
BACK.
 EVE: OH.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, LET'S MOVE ON,
SHALL WE?
OH, MILES DAVIS, JOHN COLTRANE,
DINAH WASHINGTON.
I LOVE DINAH WASHINGTON.
 KEVIN: I NEVER WOULD'VE
PEGGED YOU FOR A JAZZ FAN.
 EVE: A FRIEND INTRODUCED ME
TO IT AND -- I REALLY DON'T KNOW
THAT MUCH ABOUT JAZZ.
 KEVIN: A FRIEND.
A FRIEND NAMED SCOTT?
 EVE: IS THIS GOING TO BE ONE
OF THOSE TIMES WHERE TWO
RATIONAL ADULTS CAN'T GET
THROUGH AN EVENING WITHOUT
REMEMBERING SOMETHING ABOUT
THEIR -- AHEM -- UNMENTIONABLE
FORMER PARTIES?
 KEVIN: FOR JUST THE TWO
OF US, IT DID GET AWFULLY
CROWDED IN HERE ALL OF A SUDDEN,
DIDN'T IT?
 EVE: YEAH.
HEY,
LET ME WHACK SOMETHING
AT YOU AND SEE IF YOU DUCK.
 KEVIN: OH, VICTOR NEVER
TAUGHT ME HOW TO DUCK.
 EVE: WELL, THAT EXPLAINS
A LOT.
UH -- ALL RIGHT.
YOUR BREAKUP WITH LUCY IS VERY
RECENT.
AND NOT TO BRING UP THE TOUCHY
SUBJECT OF MARRIAGE,
BUT IF YOU TWO WERE GOING
THROUGH A DIVORCE RIGHT NOW,
YOU'D STILL BE TRYING
TO REMEMBER WHOSE DAY IT WAS
TO PICK UP THE DRY CLEANING.
 KEVIN: AH, BUT I'VE TAKEN
TO HAVING MY SHIRTS DELIVERED
JUST SO I CAN AVOID THAT
CONFUSION.
 EVE: I CAN THINK
OF A MILLION -- A MILLION
REASONS WHY I LIKE YOU.
AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE AT LEAST
THAT MANY REASONS TO LIKE ME.
BEING THE DENNIS RODMAN OF LOVE
IS NOT GOING TO BE ONE OF THEM.
 KEVIN: YOU LOST ME.
 EVE: ALL RIGHT.
CHRIS ONCE TOLD ME THAT HE WAS
THE DENNIS RODMAN OF LOVE --
TO CATCH HIM ON THE REBOUND.
 KEVIN: OH.
 EVE: YEAH.
KEVIN, I'M NOT GOING TO BE
A CONVENIENT, WARM BODY
FOR YOU WHILE YOU TRY AND GET
YOUR LIFE BACK TOGETHER.
 KEVIN: YOU MEAN MY LIFE
POST-LUCY.
 EVE: I ALREADY LOST ONE MAN
TO HER, AND I'LL BE DAMNED
IF I'LL LET HER DO IT AGAIN.
IT'S JUST MY BAD LUCK SHE HAS
GREAT TASTE IN GUYS.
 KEVIN: WELL,
I HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO SPEND
THIS EVENING WITH LUCY.
THAT'S NOT WHO I'M WITH.
SO LET ME WHACK SOMETHING BACK
AT YOU.
 EVE: HURT ME.
 KEVIN: WELL, FOR THE DURATION
OF THIS EVENING -- AND
FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE,
FOR THAT MATTER -- UNLESS
WE CAN'T POSSIBLY AVOID IT,
WE SHALL NEVER MENTION THE NAMES
OF THOSE -- HOW DID YOU --
 EVE: UNMENTIONABLE FORMER
PARTIES.
 KEVIN: AND SINCE THE GHOSTS
OF RELATIONSHIP PAST SEEM TO BE
LURKING IN EVERY C.D.,
EVERY BOWL, EVERY PIECE
OF SILVERWARE, I SAY WE BLOW
THIS POP STAND AND HEAD OFF
TO OUR PLACE.
 EVE: OUR PLACE?
WE HAVE A PLACE ALREADY?
 KEVIN: OH, YOU POOR,
YOUNG SOUL.
HOW SOON THEY FORGET THE BEST
OF TIMES.
IF YOU CAN TALK, YOU CAN SING.
Man ( nasally ): ONLY AFRIN
 HAS SPECIAL FORMULAS
 FOR NASAL CONGESTION....
Woman ( nasally ):
 ALLERGY CONGESTION...
Child ( nasally ):
 CHILDREN'S CONGESTION.
Man ( nasally ):
 AND NOW, FOR IMMEDIATE RELIEF
 OF SEVERE CONGESTION.
Man ( normal voice ):
 AFRIN.
üü
ü HEY, THERE, SUGAR DARLIN' ü
ü LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'... ü
WHEN YOU USE LEVER 2000,
YOU'LL ALWAYS FEEL
LIKE BEING CLOSE.
BECAUSE LEVER 2000
IS A TOUGH DEODORANT CLEAN,
SO YOU'LL WANT
TO GET CLOSE.
BUT WE ALSO HAVE MOISTURIZERS
FOR YOUR SKIN,
SO YOU'LL WANT
TO STAY CLOSE.
LEVER 2000.
THE TOUCHABLE CLEAN...
FOR ALL YOUR 2000 PARTS.
YOU LOOK AWFUL.
SINUS PRESSURE, HUH ?
YOU KNOW HOW ADVIL
HANDLES YOUR TOUGH PAIN FAST ?
WELL, ADVIL COLD & SINUS
HANDLES TOUGH SINUS PAIN FAST.
THIS IS IN THIS,
PLUS A DECONGESTANT.
THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT
ADVIL COLD & SINUS.
 JOHNNY: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I WANT TO INTRODUCE
YOU TO A CLOSE, PERSONAL FRIEND
OF JOHNNY LA LA'S, A FABULOUS
ENTERTAINER, AND A DEVOTED
HUMANITARIAN.
I WANT YOU TO APPLAUD LIKE
YOU MEAN IT.
HERE HE IS --
KID KARAOKE JR., KEVIN COLLINS.
 EVE: YAY!
WHOO!
 KEVIN: THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING
TO HELP MEND ALL THOSE BROKEN
HEARTS OUT THERE.
I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS SONG
TO EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER LOVED
AND LOST.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
 EVE: OH, BABY, YOU'RE
HURTING ME.
 WOMAN: ME, TOO, AND I'M
LOVING IT.
 KEVIN: WELL, LET'S HOPE THIS
HELPS MEND THOSE WOUNDS.
ü FEELINGS ü
 EVE: OH, NO!
 KEVIN: ü NOTHING MORE THAN
FEELINGS
TRYING TO FORGET MY
FEELINGS OF LOVE ü
 EVE: YAY!
 KEVIN: ü TEARDROPS ü
 EVE: OY, OY, OY.
 KEVIN: ü ROLLING DOWN
ON MY FACE ü
 JOHNNY: JUST FABULOUS.
 KEVIN: ü TRYING TO FORGET MY
FEELINGS OF LOVE ü
 EVE: ME, TOO. ME, TOO.
 KEVIN and EVE: ü FEELINGS
WHOA, OH, OH
FEELINGS ü
 KEVIN: ü I WISH I'D
NEVER MET YOU, GIRL ü
 EVE: OH, THERE THEY ARE.
I FORGOT.
 KEVIN and EVE: ü YOU'LL
NEVER COME AGAIN ü
 KEVIN: ONE MORE.
 EVE and KEVIN: ü FEELINGS
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA
FEELINGS ü
 KEVIN: I THINK YOU'D BETTER
TAKE IT DOWN, JOHNNY.
[MUSIC STOPS]
 JOHNNY: FABULOUS!
 EVE: THANK YOU.
 KEVIN: THANK YOU.
 JOHNNY: ENCORE!
 EVE: ALL MY LOVELY FANS.
OH, WORTH THE PRICE
OF ADMISSION, AS ALWAYS.
 KEVIN: OH, ADMIT IT --
YOU WERE EXPECTING ME TO BREAK
INTO "LUCY IN THE SKY
WITH DIAMONDS."
 EVE: HEY, YOU'RE COMING
AWFULLY CLOSE TO MENTIONING
THE UNMENTIONABLE.
 KEVIN: CLOSE, BUT NO CIGAR.
 JOE: TACHYCARDIAC,
DIAPHORETIC, PALE, LOCAL
ASCENDING INDURATION.
 COURTNEY: JOE --
JOE? JOE?
 JOE: I'M RIGHT HERE.
 COURTNEY: YOU'RE ALWAYS
THERE, JOE.
OH, YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE.
 JOE: HEY, LISTEN TO ME,
COURTNEY -- YOU HAVE TO HANG
IN THERE.
YOU HAVE TO KEEP FIGHTING, OK?
KEEP FIGHTING.
KEEP FIGHTING.
KEEP FIGHTING.
IT'S OK, COURTNEY.
FRANK IS JUST JEALOUS.
HE ALWAYS HAS BEEN.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
YOU WANT HER, AND SHE WANTS ME.
 FRANK: DO YOU HEAR HOW
DELUDED THAT SOUNDS?
 JOE: FRANK, I DON'T CARE WHAT
YOU GUYS DID YEARS AGO.
 FRANK: HOW ABOUT WHAT
COURTNEY AND ME DID BETWEEN
THE SHEETS LAST MONTH?
 KAREN: JOE, HOW COULD YOU BE
SO BLIND?
WHAT ABOUT US?
YOU GAVE ME A RING.
 JOE: AM I THE FIRST MAN
IN THE HISTORY OF LOVE TO BE
BLIND TO THE WORKINGS OF HIS OWN
HEART?
 FRANK: MAN, YOU DON'T EVEN
SOUND LIKE YOURSELF.
 COURTNEY: THIS IS THE BROTHER
YOU COULD NEVER KNOW, FRANK.
 JOE: LOOK, KAREN, I WOULD'VE
NEVER GOTTEN TOGETHER
WITH YOU HAD I KNOWN COURTNEY
WOULD BE BACK IN MY LIFE,
ALL RIGHT?
THINGS CHANGE.
 KAREN: TAKE YOUR STUPID
CARAMEL CORN RING.
 FRANK: YOU KNOW, THE FACT
THAT HE GAVE YOU A RING OUT
OF A BOX OF CARAMEL CORN
SHOULD'VE BEEN YOUR FIRST HINT.
 KAREN: DON'T EVER SPEAK TO ME
AGAIN.
DON'T EVER LOOK AT ME.
DON'T EVER EVEN BREATHE
THE SAME AIR.
 FRANK: IT'S OK IF JOE IS DUMB
ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THAT
YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT HIM.
BUT WE BOTH KNOW YOU WERE
SINGING A DIFFERENT TUNE
WITH ME.
 COURTNEY: THAT'S A LIE,
FRANK.
 JOE: LISTEN TO ME --
YOU BACK OFF OR I WILL DROP
YOU WHERE YOU STAND.
 FRANK: OH, YEAH?
AND HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO
THAT?
YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME?
BACK OFF.
 JOE: YOU ALL RIGHT?
 COURTNEY: UH-HUH.
YEAH.
 FRANK: YEAH, THAT'S A FIRST.
YOU TWO DESERVE EACH OTHER.
HAVE A MISERABLE LIFE.
 JOE: OK, WHERE WERE WE?
UNTIL DEATH DO US PART.
I LOVE YOU, COURTNEY.
 JOE'S VOICE: I LOVE YOU.
 JOE: COURTNEY?
COURTNEY?
LISTEN, IT'S JOE.
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
SHE'S NOT COMING OUT OF IT.
 EVE: ü REMEMBER MY NAME
FAME üü
 KEVIN: WHOO!
 EVE: WHOO-HOO!
YAY!
 KEVIN: OH, BOY.
 EVE: DOES THAT MEAN WE'VE
BANISHED THE GHOSTS
OF RELATIONSHIPS PAST?
 KEVIN: I GUESS IT DOES.
I'M GOING TO GO OUT ON A LIMB
HERE AND I'M JUST GOING TO TELL
YOU.
I MEAN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO
ANYTHING OR SAY ANYTHING ABOUT
IT, BUT I JUST WANT TO LET
YOU KNOW THAT I WOULD REALLY
LIKE IT IF YOU CAME BACK
TO THE LIGHTHOUSE WITH ME
TONIGHT.
 EVE: CHECK, PLEASE.
OH.
I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN THAT
WORK BEFORE.
 JOHNNY: ANY THOUGHTS
OF DEPARTURE WOULD BE PREMATURE
WITH THE LIMBO STICK WARMED UP
AND WAITING.
 KEVIN: STICK?
 JOHNNY: LIMBO STICK.
IT'S BETTER THAN A CHIROPRACTIC
ADJUSTMENT.
YOUR SPINE WILL NEVER FORGIVE
YOU IF YOU LEAVE.
 KEVIN: OH, NO, YOU --
HE HAS TO BE KIDDING, RIGHT?
MY SPINE WOULD NEVER FORGIVE ME
IF I STAYED.
["TEQUILA" PLAYS]
 JOHNNY: LIMBO! LIMBO! LIMBO!
 EVE: COME ON, KEVIN.
YOU REALLY GOING TO PASS UP
YOUR FIRST CHANCE TO
SEE ME IN ACTION?
 KEVIN: LIMBO IS AS LIMBO
DOES, I ALWAYS SAY.
NO, THIS ISN'T
A JEANS COMMERCIAL.
IT'S ABOUT CONSTIPATION.
YOU'RE BLOATED--
NOT YOURSELF.
YOUR SIZE 10's
FEEL LIKE 2's.
FIBERCON HAS NATURAL
FIBER ACTION...
TO RELIEVE
BLOATING CONSTIPATION.
I'M MYSELF AGAIN.
FIBERCON:
 409 CARPET CLEANER.
 IT CLEANS FOOD GREASE,
 RED WINE,
 SPAGHETTI SAUCE--
 YOU NAME IT.
 409 CARPET CLEANER.
 IT REALLY WORKS.
 ATTENTION, PLEASE.
 FLIGHT 141 TO CANCUN
 HAS BEEN DELAYED.
OH, THE HASSLE OF TRAVEL.
IT'S ENOUGH TO GIVE ANYONE
A HEADACHE.
WHAT'S WITH HIM ?
DOESN'T WANT TO GO
TO CANCUN.
- WHY CAN'T I JUST STAY HOME ?
- LOOK, BUDDY.
SHE'S GOT A BAD HEADACHE.
AND FOR HEADACHES,
DOCTORS RECOMMEND TYLENOL...
MORE THAN ADVIL, BAYER
AND EXCEDRIN COMBINED.
FEELING BETTER NOW ?
GOING TO CANCUN ?
 ONLY A VERY SPECIAL MOISTURIZER
 COULD PULL THIS OFF.
 ONE THAT
 LEAVES
 NO GREASY FEELING BEHIND.
 ONE THAT OFFERS CLEAN MOISTURE.
 THAT'S LUBRIDERM.
 AND IT'S RECOMMENDED
 BY DERMATOLOGISTS
 MORE THAN ANY OTHER
 LEADING BRAND.
 HEALTHY LOOKING SKIN
 WITHOUT
 A GREASY
 FEELING.
 YEAH, THAT'S LUBRIDERM.
 LATER, 'GATOR.
 HELLO, CLEAN MOISTURE.
ü YUM... ü
NEW CREME SAVERS
FROM LIFE SAVERS.
ü CREME LA LA CREME ü
STRAWBERRIES & CREME...
ü CREME YUM ü
ORANGE & CREME...
ü CREME LA LA CREME ü
 ü CREME YUM ü
CHOCOLATE & CARAMEL
& CREME...
ü CREME LA LA CREME ü
ü CREME YUM ü
FLAVORS TOGETHER...
ü CREME LA LA CREME ü
LASTING FOREVER.
ü CREME YUM ü
ü THE CREAMIEST,
DREAMIEST ü
ü LIFE SAVERS YET ü
NEW...
ü YUM ü
["TEQUILA" PLAYS]
 JOHNNY: HERE SHE COMES.
WHOO!
 KEVIN: OH!
NOW, THAT'S IMPRESSIVE!
I CAN SEE WHO WANTS TO WIN THIS
CONTEST.
 EVE: WELL, I'VE NEVER WON
ANYTHING IN MY LIFE.
 KEVIN: REALLY?
EXCEPT A LITTLE NUMBER KNOWN
AS THE QUARTERMAINE RESIDENCY.
 EVE: OH, YEAH, I DID WIN
THAT, NOW, DIDN'T I?
 KEVIN: "OH, YEAH."
 EVE: HMM.
WELL, ACTUALLY, THAT DIDN'T COME
WITH A TROPHY, AND I WANT
A TROPHY, SO LIMBO!
 KEVIN: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
JOHNNY, MY FRIEND -- TAKE IT
LOWER.
 JOHNNY: OH, ANYTHING YOU SAY,
PROFESSOR.
 KEVIN: JOHNNY?
 JOHNNY: YES, SIR?
 KEVIN: LOWER.
 JOHNNY: OOH, WATCH YOUR BACK,
NOW.
CRACK THAT SACROILIAC.
 KEVIN: OK.
I AM MY FATHER'S SON.
STAND BACK AND WATCH THE MOVES
OF A MASTER.
 EVE: YOU GO.
 JOHNNY: KEVIN!
 ALL: KEVIN! KEVIN!
KEVIN! KEVIN!
KEVIN! KEVIN!
 FRANK: KAREN.
 KAREN: WHAT?
DID YOU FIND ANYTHING OUT?
 FRANK: I GOT MY FRIEND
FROM GREECE TO CALL THE COMPANY
THAT OWNS THE BOAT THAT JOE
AND COURTNEY WERE SUPPOSED
TO BE ON.
NOW, ONE OF THE EMPLOYEES
CONFIRMED THAT THERE WERE
STOWAWAYS ONBOARD, BUT NO ONE
FOUND THEM.
 KAREN: JOE AND COURTNEY --
THEY COULD'VE BEEN PICKED UP
BY ANOTHER BOAT, OR MAYBE
THEY WERE WASHED ASHORE
SOMEWHERE.
 FRANK: THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY
TO KNOW FOR SURE.
 KAREN: WHEN'S THEN NEXT PLANE
TO GREECE?
 FRANK: TOMORROW, AND I'M
ON IT.
 KAREN: WE ARE ON IT.
 KEVIN: OH!
 JOHNNY: THERE YOU GO,
LIMBO KING.
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD DONATE
YOUR SPINE TO MEDICAL SCIENCE,
DR. COLLINS.
YOU KNOW, IT'S AMAZING.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR BACKBONES
COULD MOVE LIKE THAT.
 KEVIN: I DON'T THINK MOST
OF US COULD.
HELP ME UP.
 EVE: ALL RIGHT.
BE CAREFUL.
 KEVIN: OH!
 EVE: OH.
 KEVIN: OH.
 EVE: OH.
OH, BABY.
 KEVIN: OH, BOY.
OH, EVE, I'M SO SORRY.
I REALLY DIDN'T MEAN TO WIN.
 EVE: OH, PLEASE.
YOU DESERVED IT.
ESPECIALLY AFTER --
WELL, I'VE JUST NEVER REALLY
HEARD A GROWN MAN SCREAM AS MUCH
AS YOU DID WITH THAT MUSCLE
SPASM.
 KEVIN: OH.
THIS IS NOT THE WAY I INTENDED
THE EVENING TO END UP.
 EVE: OH, IT'S MY FAULT.
I NEVER SHOULD'VE INSISTED
ON LIMBO.
GOD IS PUNISHING ME.
 KEVIN: YEAH, GOD IS
PUNISHING YOU.
 EVE: WELL, THIS ISN'T HOW
I HOPED THAT THE EVENING WOULD
END, EITHER.
OH, WELL.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
 KEVIN: OH, EASY. EASY.
 EVE: OK. ALL RIGHT.
 KEVIN: OK.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WAS THIS THE BEST DATE OR WHAT?
 EVE: THE BEST I EVER HAD.
 EVE: COME ON.
 KEVIN: OK.
UH, WOULD YOU MIND?
 EVE: NO, NO, NO.
 KEVIN: THANK YOU.
 EVE: YES, PLEASE BE CAREFUL.
 KEVIN: OK. OK.
 COURTNEY: THIS IS THE BEST
DAY OF MY LIFE.
 JOE: YOUR LIFE IS JUST
BEGINNING.
 COURTNEY: YOUR DAD AND I WILL
BE BACK RIGHT AFTER
OUR HONEYMOON, SWEETIE.
 NEIL: HAVE A GOOD TIME, MOM.
 JOE: YOU BE GOOD, SPORT.
 NEIL: I WILL, DAD.
TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES.
 COURTNEY: GOOD-BYE.
 JOE: COURTNEY?
COUR, LISTEN, I AM RIGHT
HERE.
 COURTNEY: JOE?
JOE?
JOE, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
 JOE: LISTEN, I AM GETTING US
OFF THIS ISLAND, ALL RIGHT?
WE NEED TO GET YOU TO
A HOSPITAL.
HEY -- YOU NEED TO HANG
IN THERE, ALL RIGHT?
HANG IN THERE, COURTNEY.
 COURTNEY: I'M -- I'M NOT SURE
I CAN, JOE.
I DON'T THINK I CAN MAKE IT.